A Half-Vampire and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Welcome to the Hellmouth)
by Just One Face in the Crowd
Summary: Margery Selwyn has seen many things in her very long lonely existence, but nothing compares to what await her in a fairly unassuming town called Sunnydale.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the Hellmouth

_"In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer."_

These words have been around for centuries. They're even older than I am, in fact. Any vampire worth his salt knows these words, and takes warning from them. At least, the smart ones do. The more brash ones ignore them, and pay the consequences.

Perhaps I should introduce myself? After all, that's only the polite thing to do, have the narrator introduce his or herself. Although in _Rebecca_ the narrator never mentions her name at all except to mention that her husband-to-be spelled her name right, which apparently was unusual. But that's it. They never mentioned her name. Not once. Not even in the film Alfred Hitchcock made.

Incidentally, I didn't notice this until I had read the book through four more times.

Clever Daphne du Maurier.

Oh dear, I'm digressing, pray forgive me.

All right, I will tell you my name. I've had several, but I always return to the name I was given at birth, and it's the one I will give you now: Margery Selwyn.

Oh by the way, I'm not the Slayer. No, far from it.

I'm not a vampire either, by the way. Though I suppose that's confusing given I said the words are even older than I am, giving the idea that I'm extremely old. Well, I am, but that doesn't mean I'm a vampire. You're not far off though.

Apologies, I seem to fall into the habit of prattling on when I get to writing. I suppose that's a result of having lived too long and having too many thoughts. They tend to jump from subject to subject in a stream that makes sense only to myself.

See? There I go again. I'm meant to be talking about myself yet I keep jumping to the subject of my mind. Very well, I must remedy this.

As I said, I'm not a vampire. Not quite. I'm half a vampire. I was born in 1360, so yes, I am very old.

I suppose I can give you a few details about being half vampire, if I can shorten it down. How does one shorten over six hundred years of existence? I'll try and explain, at any case.

Basically, I share some traits with vampires, but not all. By that I mean that I have immortality, obviously, and while my senses are heightened well above that of a human's, they're not on the level of vampires. I'm stronger than the average human, but only just. I'm not as strong as vampires, nor am I as resilient. If you stab me with…well, anything really: stake, knife, spear, or sword, I will die. You have to hit me in the right spot for me to completely be annihilated, but I'm not hard to kill.

My heart doesn't beat, but that doesn't mean I can't die.

There are a few things I can handle better than vampires, however. I can walk in sunlight, though preferably not for long because I will start to burn. To remedy this I wear a lot of jackets with hoods. Sunlight is more uncomfortable than deadly. A direct hit will feel like I'm getting too close to a fire.

Then there's the usual: crosses, holy water, etc. Crosses don't bother me terribly, though if I touch one it does feel as though I'm grabbing the handle of a hot teapot, and holy water stings, but does not burn.

Ah yes, and I don't cast a reflection, nor can my image be captured on camera.

How can I explain how this works? I'm not entirely sure myself. I'm the only half vampire I know of; though I'm sure others exist.

To try and explain this I must explain something about vampires. Vampires, basically, are demons possessing a dead human body, which means I'm sort of undead, though I was born that way. Does this mean I have a demon in me? Yes and no.

No in the sense that I don't have a full demon inside me, but yes in the sense that I have the essence, or aura of a demon inside me.

That was my gift from my father.

He was the one with a demon, and since a demon technically can't be in two vessels at once, unless it's some sort of super-demon, I got the Essence of the demon.

It's not a problem most of the time…provided I don't let it out. It's something I can always feel, deep inside me. That clawing, gnawing, wrathful, ravenous _thing_ that screams to be released. But I can't risk it.

I did once…

We'll not talk about that.

And lastly, we come to the most important question: Do I eat, or drink, people?

Sometimes.

What? Don't cast that look upon me, I am what I am.

Being half vampire means I don't have to have blood as regularly as full-vampires, but I will need to feed eventually. The longer I go, the weaker I get, and the easier it is for me to succumb to things like sunlight. Also, it breaks down my resistance to the Essence, which would gladly have a bloodbath to satiate my hunger.

So, about twice a month, I have a drink. Not on a living person, mind you, I haven't done that in a while. A good seventy years or so.

I know, that doesn't seem like a long time, given my especially long lifespan, but keep in mind blood-packs weren't invented back then, and the only alternative was animals. They help a little, but that means I have to feed more frequently.

Feeding on a human is…different.

It's a guilty pleasure. To put it in perspective, I suppose it would be the same if you ate an entire platter of brownies. You know it's wrong, and you know you should stop, but all you can think at the time is: "Oh God this is so delicious!"

I have had a brownie, by the way. They're nice.

I apologize I can't praise them more but human food is…a little bland. I suppose that's the vampire side of me speaking.

All right, I believe that is all the basics covered. If you're wondering about my vast history and my origins, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait. There's much to be told about things other than me, so I propose we get to them.

The story I'm going to be telling you takes place in 1996, in the town of Sunnydale, California.

That's when I first met the Slayer.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 1

I suppose you're wondering why I chose a place with a name like 'Sunnydale' to settle down in. That is a good question, and it has a simple answer: the Hellmouth.

Sunnydale sits on the Hellmouth, or rather, the high school does but it has a rather harsh ripple effect.

This wasn't my first visit to Sunnydale. There's something about that place that always draws me back to it, no matter how far I wander and roam, and I have wandered and roamed anywhere and everywhere.

For the last two and a half centuries nearly all my time has spent in libraries around the world. The history books are amusing. It's nice to reminisce. Also, there are some things even I haven't witnessed. After all, I couldn't be everywhere an important event in history took place.

And, as is often the case, when the event in question occurs, no one really thinks it is an important event in history yet. At the time, it's just life. You react to it, adapt, and then move on.

Then later someone writes it down and everyone wonders why they never noticed it before.

Sorry, digressing again.

As I was saying, I was being drawn back to the Hellmouth. There was something in the air that felt…odd. And when a half-vampire says something is odd, then something is _seriously_ wrong.

I remember when I first felt the pull.

I was in Oxford at the time, in the library, of course, reading. Then all at once, I couldn't focus on the words. And that never happens. Ever.

Everything got cloudy and distant. I thought for a moment it was from not feeding, but then all I could think of was the Hellmouth. No matter how many times I shoved the place from my mind, it kept creeping back in.

I don't have fond memories of the Hellmouth. That place is just…unnatural. But who am I to judge?

Although, the last time I was there, I had been walking around a pond after a recent rain, and I was just watching the ducks when…well, to put it simply, they exploded. All except one, and that was just because it was busy trailing me, quacking for bread.

As it turns out, a novice witch had been trying to kill the rival football team, but miscalculated the coordinates and targeted the duck pond.

Like I said, I don't have fond memories of the Hellmouth.

Still, one just can't ignore the obvious. And it was obvious that I had to back to Sunnydale, as much as I didn't want to.

I didn't have a good feeling about going back, either. Whatever was drawing me back in would no doubt be drawing other far more unfriendly and dangerous things to that town as well. It's not like we all get along, either.

Most vampires look on me with disdain, and humans naturally don't like me if they know what I am.

I would have to keep a low profile until I knew what was going on. Color me curious, but I wanted to know what was going on to create such disturbances so far away. It couldn't be good, whatever it was, but I wanted to know the worst.

Serves me right for wanting to know.

The first day of school is…awkward, to say the very least. For me, at least. The first day, you're immediately noticed and singled out because you're new, then, in my case, because you're different, but eventually, if you don't say anything and don't look at anyone in the eye, they forget about you soon enough.

I suppose I look different. I don't really know. No reflection, and all that. I know I'm pale, what with never going out in the sun and all, and I know I have long black hair, that's pretty obvious, but I couldn't say if my face is any different from anyone else's.

I know I don't look like other vampires when they show their 'true' faces, but…it's hard to pinpoint exactly what else it is that attracts attention. I don't have fangs protruding all the time, and I try to dress normally.

I'll confess I'm a bit out of touch with fashion. I just wear whatever's comfortable. Even if it is a little old.

Anyway, I knew to find out what was going on, I would need to go right to the source, as it were. The high school. The location of the Hellmouth.

So I dutifully enrolled after I hired someone to pose as my father. This may shock you but it's honestly not that hard to do. I hired a homeless guy to be my father. Got him cleaned up, gave him a wad of cash, told him to enroll me in school, and then sent him on his merry way. He was too surprised and happy to be suspicious.

I decided to go in as a junior. If need be, I can pass for as young as fifteen, but I've been told by reliable sources I can't convince anyone I'm over twenty. I guess that's an okay age to be stuck in, though I'm not sure why my body decided to stop aging past there.

In spite of what anyone tells you, it's not fun to be stuck in this age. It's most inconvenient. Whoever you are, reading this right now, I could be your grandmother at least fifteen times over. So naturally I get tired of being treated like a child from people who are a fraction of my age.

Sorry, got off on a tangent.

Anyway, that first day was stressful.

There I was, me and my little backpack, walking down the sidewalk towards the school, which was already crowded over with youths.

As of late, in the various high schools I've been to (I go once ever ten years or so just to see what they're teaching the future of the world…it's a bit sad) I've noticed that social structure has stopped changing.

I was already seeing groups of various genres of young people.

There were the popular children: females with bright, clean smiles and overly bouncy bits that attracted the equally as pretty males, who flocked around them in eager packs. I could smell the oversaturation of hormones in the air wafting towards me from them. It nearly choked me.

I should mention I'm not terribly romantic.

Not that there's any romance there. Just lust.

Anyway, you had them, then you had the two variant of smart children: the naturally smart ones together in frightened packs of four and five, looking at the pretty girls with wistful longing and whispers of desire passed between them. Then there were the smart kids who had worked especially hard to be smart and tried to cling to the naturally smart ones, but were only partially accepted.

Poor little mites.

The jocks were moving in on the other popular children already.

Then you had the collections of childhood friends, chatting, laughing, playfully shoving, and giggling nervously everywhere.

And of course there were the rebels, glaring at anyone and everyone.

The outcast individuals, or the new singles, like me, stood uncertainly amongst the clangor and looked around in dismay and confusion.

It was a madhouse. And we weren't even inside yet.

I felt grateful for the hood. It muffled at least some of the noise. Having heightened hearing isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know.

The sun was glaringly bright, so I had thrown pride to the wind and actually bought a pair of sunglasses, and I had a pair of fingerless gloves to cover most of my hands for when I couldn't put them in my pockets, like now.

I tried to maneuver my way throw the oppressive, pulsing crowd. So many voices all right in my ear. It was giving me a headache, and that made me annoyed. The day was not starting out well. In fact I came very close to just turning around and leaving Sunnydale and the Hellmouth to whatever nefarious deeds were going to occur.

Fortunately, these tempting thoughts were interrupted.

"'Scuse me, pardon me-" a voice was calling out, but I thought it was just someone being impatient, so I ignored it.

"Move!" the voice shouted, suddenly right beside me, and that's when a body slammed into me.

I stumbled over a few steps, but being so tightly packed into a crowd kept me from completely falling over. The one who had crashed into me, however, was not so fortunate.

I looked over and down, and realized the lad had been on a skateboard, he was sprawled on the ground, the skateboard on its side, and he was sitting up.

"You okay?" he asked, looking up at me.

I gave him a terse nod, hesitated, and then reluctantly offered my hand.

"Thanks." He gave a boyish grin, grabbed my hand, and I lifted him to his feet. He was actually pretty light, even though he was ridiculously taller than I was.

"Sorry about that." He continued once he was on his feet and the skateboard was restored to him. I nodded again.

"I'm Xander, by the way." He added.

I nodded one last time, then moved away from him.

Yes, that is rather rude, but I wasn't there to make friends. I was there to get answers. Establishing a relationship with anyone, even on strictly an acquaintance level, was unwise. At least, that's how I thought at the time.

"Yeah well, great meeting you too!" he called after me. I heard the wheels on his skateboard wheel away, only to be interrupted again, this time accompanied by the sharp ring of metal connecting with soft flesh.

I turned and looked over my shoulder at the boy, Xander. He'd collided with a rail this time, and I think I saw the object of his distraction: a gorgeous, young, blond girl. She didn't seem to realize the accident she just caused.

A small, petite girl with long auburn hair stepped over him with a smile. She knew him.

"Willow!" he called up to her, "You're so very much the person I wanted to see!"

I couldn't help but smirk as I turned away. Easily distracted by a pretty face, that one.

I heard him request help for math homework, and I heard her agree before I tuned them out and focused on the school again.

The muscles in my shoulders and back were tensing with dread, I could feel.

"Here we go again." I whispered to myself.

"Into the mouth of Hell."

I'm fairly certain that's what most youths think when they go to school.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 2

I hate navigating through schools, by the way. Too many corridors that all look that same. Too many doors, too many lockers, nothing that stands out. It's difficult to figure out where one is supposed to go.

First class was history. An easy one. I could zone out and still flourish in any test they would give me. If I was careful, I may even be able to get a little reading sneaked in.

You may be wondering what my plan was when I reached the Hellmouth. True, I knew I had come to the right place. The air felt electric to me, though no one else seemed to notice. I suppose that's because they were used to it. It only makes sense that I would have some sort of plan, right?

I hate to disappoint you, reader, but alas, I had no plan.

I suppose 'waiting for something to happen' could constitute a plan, but it's not terribly exciting, is it?

Anyway, I had pulled back the hood and stowed my sunglasses elsewhere while I strode through the halls, keeping my head down while I glanced around at the door that may lead to that bloody history class, when I got a vaguely familiar whiff of someone and glanced around.

There was that boy again, Xander, just ahead of me. I lowered my eyes again and slowed. I was afraid that if he noticed me, he would try and introduce himself to me again, and I just wasn't in the mood today.

He looked about sixteen or seventeen, so maybe he was in the same class as me?

I would follow him, then. Maybe he would inadvertently lead me to I was supposed to go.

Unfortunately, there was yet another interruption.

A couple of young people off to my right had been talking to each other, and had failed to notice that young blond girl, the one who had distracted Xander, coming out of what looked like the principal's office.

She was looking down, they weren't looking around, and of course they collided.

The girl's bag hit the ground and spilled the contents. I didn't look at them, I kept walking to follow Xander.

Xander, however, was more chivalrous than I was, and immediately turned and bolted back to come to the aid of the damsel in distress.  
I must admit I was rather selfishly annoyed by this. I needed to get to class, but to do that I'd have to wait for Xander to get done being the hero for the ladies. Or, lady.

He swept over to her and hit the floor to help her get her things.

"Can I have you?"

That took me by surprise. I think even Xander was taken aback by what he'd just said. The girl blinked at him, I blinked at him and stopped short before I rounded a corner, and Xander started stammering.

He laughed to cover it up.

"Can I help you?"

"Thanks." The girl replied with an awkward laugh of her own. I leaned against the wall to wait and acted like I was looking for something in my backpack, but kept an ear turned towards them.

"I don't know you, do I?" Xander was saying, which to me obviously said that she was new and he desperately wanted to know her.

My assumption was confirmed by what the girl said next: "I'm Buffy, I'm new."

"Xander." Xander replied, then realized he'd left off something else. "Is-is me," he continued, "Hi."

"Uh, thanks." The girl, Buffy, said again.

I felt embarrassed just watching Xander. The poor lad wasn't exactly Don Juan.

"Well," Xander said, trying to salvage the conversation, "uh, maybe I'll see you around? Maybe at school? Since we…both…go there."

He gave a shake of his head at the end of the sentence and his tone dropped in disappointment. Disappointment in himself.

It was pitiful.

"Great." Buffy said. She was trying to pretend this hadn't gone horribly awkward, bless her.

"It was nice to meet you." She said, and then took her leave. Poor Xander stayed rooted to the spot for a time, looking as though he'd just swallowed something sour.

"We both go to school," he repeated to himself, exasperated, "very suave. Very not pathetic."

Well, at least he realized it. At least he didn't genuinely believe that had gone well. I mentally urged him to recover swiftly from his broken heart and hurry on to class. He started to, and then noticed something on the ground that they'd both missed and bent to pick it up.

I didn't see what it was until he held it up, and when I did see it, every sense snapped to attention.

My first discovery.

"Oh!" he said, "Hey! Hey! You forgot your…stake."

I whipped my head around and watched the blond girl as she strode away.

So that was the Slayer.

Interesting.

I must have looked incredibly disturbing during history class. I couldn't stop staring at the back of the Slayer's head. I had tried to come up with a myriad of excuses for how she might not be the Slayer, but every one of them fell to pieces when I thought about the stake.

Even though the teacher was talking about the Black Death, or, Bubonic Plague, which I had been through. It was awful. Seriously, the smell…

Anyway, I just kept my eyes on the Slayer and that bag of hers.

Evidently the only thing not in it was a book for the class since she had to share one with another girl. This girl was also beautiful and had long brown hair and large brown eyes. I frowned and forced my gaze down to the book in front of me.

I didn't like the feel of this other girl. She didn't…well, this is going to sound odd, but trust me when I say she didn't smell right.

All too soon, the bell rang, shrieking through my skull and snapping my attention from the Slayer for once. I took my time gathering up my book and untouched notebook.

"Hi!" the brown-haired girl said, stretching her hand over to the Slayer, "I'm Cordelia."

Immediately I had a flood of memories of _Anne of Green Gables_ and made a note to check and see if they had a copy in the library here.

"I'm Buffy." The Slayer replied.

"If you're looking for a textbook of your very own there's probably a few in the library." Cordelia continued.

"Oh great, thanks where would that be?"

I looked at the pair and got up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. It looked like I would be following someone again. After all, I wanted to know where the library was too.

"I'll show you, come on." Cordelia offered. She seemed nice enough so far, but there was still that feeling…

You don't have to be around for centuries to get a warning about someone, but it can help.

I followed the pair as they moved towards the door. They were talking about L.A. Not my favorite town. Again, too sunny. Too many people. Too loud. A nice visit but I never spent more than a couple of weeks there.

"I would kill to live in L.A." Cordelia was saying excitedly, "That close to that many shoes!"

I frowned in confusion.

I've never understood the obsession with shoes. You can only wear one pair at a time, correct? Why have more than that?

Girls.

I followed the two of them across the courtyard and into another section of the building, and then I decided to move ahead of them so it wouldn't look like I was following.

Most of what Cordelia had been saying to Buffy was already giving me a headache from rolling my eyes so much, but when she mentioned testing Buffy's 'coolness factor' I felt about ready to just flee her presence.

Apparently Buffy was cool enough already to skip the written coolness test, but she had to give an oral one.

Seriously.

By this time I had already spotted the pair of doors that must lead to the library. Pretty much anytime you saw a pair of double-doors in a school, it was probably a library. I headed towards them thinking to lose myself in the books.

Now that I knew the Slayer was here, I considered my mission done, for the most part. That must have been why there was so much draw to the Hellmouth, because the Slayer was here. Naturally.

I'm not very good at fooling myself.

I immediately started wondering. Why was the Slayer at the Hellmouth? Had she been drawn here too? Was there something big going on that I had missed? Not that that's at all surprising. I don't associate much with…well, monsters.

Speaking of monsters, Cordelia had stopped and was talking to the pretty little girl who had been Xander's friend.

"Willow! Nice dress. It's good to see you've found the softer side of Sears."

Her voice dripped with sarcasm and I hesitated at the doors to look back at her and Buffy.

"Oh, well, my mom picked it out." Willow stammered shyly. I turned around to get a better look. The poor dear. She looked so small with Cordelia standing over her with that malicious, self-righteous look in her eye.

Buffy looked taken aback and disapproving. Well, at least she wasn't entirely like Cordelia. That was reassuring.

"No wonder you're such a guy magnet." Cordelia continued, then dropped the smile, "Are you done?" she motioned to the water fountain Willow had been drinking from.

I felt a growl rise, unbidden, into my throat. Call it maternal instinct or whatever you wish, but I wanted to defend Willow. I wanted to speak up for her, to rip Cordelia's throat out, to-

'Steady.' I ordered myself. Whenever I got angry it didn't take much for me to fly into a rage.

Thank you, demon Essence.

Poor Willow beat a hasty retreat, and I decided I didn't feel in the mood for the library after all.

I cast one last scathing look at Cordelia, and then locked eyes with the Slayer.

Call me paranoid if you wish, but I could have sworn she saw me for what I was. But I couldn't be sure because as soon as we locked eyes I looked down, pulled my hood up, and then followed Willow as she scurried away.

That's not suspicious, right?

I found Willow sitting outside with a crumpled brown bag that held her lunch. She didn't look terribly upset, but she still cut a dejected little figure, sitting all alone after getting yelled at by the Perfect Queen.

'Don't get involved.' I told myself.

Of course I didn't listen.

There's something in me that just melts when it sees a weak, defenseless little creature. Especially one that's been hurt.

I wanted to give her something to make her feel better. What makes people feel better? I understand women like chocolate. Unless they're allergic. In any case, I didn't have any chocolate to give her, otherwise I would have and that would have been that.

However, all I could give her was my words. So I did.

"Excuse me, young miss?" I said, then winced at how formal that sounded.

Kids don't address each other that way, do they? No. I hadn't been around teenagers much, or I would have known. As it stands, I knew I had said something out of place as soon as they were out in the open.

Too late to draw them back in, however.

"Oh, y-yes?" she looked up at me, blinking from the sun.

"Forgive me interrupting your lunch, but, uh," (I threw in the uh for good measure. Youths do that a lot I've noticed. Perfectly understandable, though) "I could not, uh, couldn't help but notice the incident that happened inside. Are you all right?"

She smiled at me and shrugged.

"Oh, that's just Cordelia. I'm okay."

I nodded slowly, wondering what to do next.

"D-Do you want to sit down?" she invited. That took me by surprise and I raised my eyebrows over my shades.

"Certainly." I answered after a brief hesitation. I would have said no, but I had come out here to cheer up the poor thing. I settled myself beside her on the brick bench and hugged my backpack to my chest.

I expected an awkward silence to immediately invade, but, to my surprise, it didn't.

"So, you're new, right?" she asked, munching on her sandwich. "I would remember seeing you around."

I suppose she meant my outfit. Excuse me if I'm lazy about dressing myself. I mostly wear muted colors because they're easier to match and require minimum effort. So I must have looked like one of those…what are they called…gothic people?

In response, I gave a laugh. She joined in. It was a sweet little laugh. Bubbly and soft. It was endearing. I felt myself melting a little more.

She was just so…cute.

"Well, I do aim to leave an impression." I joked, adjusting my sunglasses. She giggled again, and I could feel her relaxing. She was starting to trust me.

_That'll make it easier_, an unwelcome voice whispered.

'We're not doing that anymore.' I answered.

_That's what you think_.

I cleared my throat, my smile slipping. I could hear her heart beating quickly from laughing.

"I just moved here." I continued, "From Oregon."

"Neat." She said, nodding, "I went there on vacation one time. My mom took me to a ton of bookstores."

I smiled.

"A girl after my own heart." I told her. Her eyes brightened in excitement and she grinned happily. That smile just made her even more cute. If she had been holding a kitten she couldn't have been more adorable.

"You like to read?" She asked.

"It's my life." I told her honestly.

"Mine too." She giggled, then frowned slightly. "Is that sad?"

"Not in my opinion."

She smiled again, then swapped her sandwich over to her other hand and offered her free hand to me.

"I'm Willow, by the way." She said. I smiled and accepted her hand. It felt so little and soft.

"A beautiful name," I commended her, I wanted to say that it suited the bearer of the name perfectly in terms of beauty, but I thought that would be forward. Besides, youths don't speak that way to each other.

Especially not acquaintances.

"I'm Margery." I told her.

"Great to meet you."

"Likewise, little miss."

I winced again, but she just smiled. She must have thought it was my form of teasing.

Suddenly, we were interrupted.

"Uh, hi, uh, Willow, right?"

We both turned and I tensed.

The Slayer stood behind us. Willow looked surprised, then worried. I didn't blame her. After all, Buffy had been with Cordelia. In Willow's eyes she was on _that_ side. And maybe she was? I knew next to nothing about Slayers beyond the fact that they slew things like me.

"Why?" Willow asked, then corrected herself, "I-I mean, hi! D-Did you want me to move?"

"Why don't we start with 'Hi, I'm Buffy' and uh, then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor." Buffy said, at the same time coming taking the other seat beside Willow. She looked over and saw me, and I was once again grateful for those sunglasses.

"Hi!" she greeted me. I nodded in response. That's my go-to response for awkward encounters. A nod.

"Oh, t-this is Margery." Willow said like we were old friends. "She's new too."

"Good to see I'm not alone then." Buffy said with a nod.

"Likewise." I managed to say.

"The favor," Buffy continued, turning back to Willow, "it doesn't involve moving but it does involve hanging out with me for a while."

The tone in which she said this was friendly, but I detected a certain knowledge behind the words that said she knew saying this to Willow was supposed to make her feel insanely privileged and excited.

Buffy was popular. 'Twas only to be expected, really.

"But aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?" Willow said.

"I can't do both?" Buffy asked.

"Not legally." Willow answered. I smiled.

Buffy laughed. "Look," she said, "I really want to get by here. New school, and…Cordelia's been really nice…to me, anyway, but, uh, I kind of have this burning desire to not flunk all my classes and I heard a rumor that you were the person to talk to, to get caught up."

Willow grinned excitedly.

"Oh I could totally help you out! If you have sixth period free we could meet in the library?"

Buffy stopped short and I felt her tense. I peered at her over my sunglasses. Her smiled had slipped and her eyes were wider. She looked panicked.

"Or not?" she said. Willow looked confused. "We could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kind of gives me the wiggins."

I frowned in confusion.

What on earth are wiggins?

"Oh it has that effect on most kids," Willow said in understanding, but her eyes were alight, "I love it though."

'Bless you dear child.' I thought with a smile. God help me but I'm getting maternal in my old age.

"It's a great collection," she continued, "and the new librarian is really cool."

"He's new?" Buffy asked.

There was something about the way she said it that made me take notice. Perhaps I should have gone to the library after all? I made a note to do that at the first opportunity.

"Yeah, he just started." Willow said, "He was curator for some British museum, or THE British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?"

I chuckled.

"Sounds like my kind of thing." I said, using a line I had heard a boy use once.

Willow grinned.

"Not at all." Buffy assured Willow. I heard footsteps approaching and got yet another whiff of-

"Hey!" Xander greeted, vaulting over the brick platform to us. "You guys busy?" A friend of his came around the other side. A tall, gangly sort of youth staring at Buffy. Xander's hair flopped in his face and he gave a toss of his head to move it.

"We interrupting?" Xander continued, settling himself down, "We're interrupting." He didn't seem to mind.

"Hey." Buffy replied.

Xander caught sight of me and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh, hey, it's you!" he said. Willow nodded and put a hand on my shoulder.

"This is Margery." She said, "Margery, this is Xander and Jesse." She introduced them both to Buffy as well and Xander actually took the time to shake my hand.

"Nice to finally meet you." He said.

"My apologies about earlier." I said, since he evidently wanted to bring the subject up, "I thought I was going to be late for class, or I would have given you my name. Sorry."

"No biggie." Xander said with a shrug, and turned back to Buffy.

"Me and Buffy go way back," he said with a grin, "we're old friends, very close. Then there was that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people but now here we are like old times I'm quite moved."

I just blinked at him.

Heavens but he was trying so hard.

Of course, there could be nothing but an awkward silence after that.

"Is it me," Jesse said, "or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?"

Xander shook his head. "No, uh, it's not you."

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor boy. Between him and Willow, I couldn't melt anymore without turning into a puddle. I wanted to take him aside and tell him to stop trying so hard. But this was not the time, nor the place.

Buffy made a valiant effort to salvage the conversation yet again.

"Well, it's nice to meet you guys." She said. "I think."

Xander nodded, smiling, and then looked at me. I realized I was meant to say something.

"Oh, uh, likewise." I said.

"Well, you know, we wanted to welcome ya," Jesse was saying, "make you feel at home," Xander suddenly dismounted the brick platform and knelt on the ground while he went through his backpack, "unless you have a scary home."

As if on cue, Xander rose, holding that stake again. I couldn't help but tense and pull back.

I've had more than a few of those thrown at me in my time. Literally.

"And to return this." He said. "The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence."

I glanced at Buffy to see her reaction. She tried to laugh it off, but I could see her mind scrambling for an explanation.

"Ha! Uh, no, uh, a-actually it was for self-defense." I raised my eyebrows. Was she going to just come out and say she was a Slayer? _The_ Slayer?

"Everyone has them in L.A." She continued. "Pepper-spray is just so passé."

Xander invited himself to sit down, evidently satisfied with this answer, forcing me and Willow to scoot down a bit. Of course, that left no more room on the bench so I stood up. Willow looked up at me apologetically and mouthed: "Sorry."

I shrugged and nodded.

"So what'd you do for fun?" Xander was babbling, "What do you like? What do you look for in a man? Let's hear it."

"If you have any dark, painful secrets you'd like us to publish." Jesse offered. Again, I shot a look at Buffy. She was playing this off fairly well, but a few more close calls or an ill-timed question and she'd leave. She was getting nervous.

So was I.

"Gee." Buffy said, "Everyone wants to know about me. How keen."

"Well, not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale," Xander explained, "you're pretty big news."

Buffy pointed at me.

"She's new." She said, "Is she news?"

Xander and Jesse looked at me. Silence. That was good. I could work with silence.

"I have a way of…well, being forgotten." I explained. "Which sounds sad until you think of it as…as…a…" oh, the Devil take it, what was that word? Ah, yes! "Superpower." I finished. I won't lie I felt quite chuffed with that explanation.

"Anyway," Buffy said, answering Xander, "I'm not news. Really."

"Are these guys bothering you?" Cordelia asked. I thought I had felt something foul approaching.

"Uh, no." Buffy said quickly. Willow was quick to try and save her.

"She's not hanging out with us." She said. She sounded so cheerful about it. I supposed it was common to try and placate Cordelia. I could imagine she would be terrible to try and deal with when she was truly upset.

Jesse stood up, determined to be suave.

"Hey." He greeted Cordelia, who simply rolled her eyes. "Cordelia."

"Oh, please." Cordelia dismissed him with barely a look and a quick move of her hand. "I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility," she addressed Buffy, "but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster-the woman with the chest hair-because gym was cancelled due to the _extreme_ dead guy in the locker."

Every nerve in me snapped to attention and I heard Buffy take a sharp intake of breath. Her eyes grew wide, and I could see she was thinking the same thing I was.

"What?" she said weakly, full of dread. I didn't much relish the idea of what this could mean either.

"What're you talking about?" Willow demanded.

"Yes," I joined in, "please explain."

Cordelia shrugged. "Some guy was stuffed in in a girl's locker."

"Dead?" Buffy said. I frowned at her. That seemed fairly obvious to me, but, the Slayer looked as though she was in shock. I found this confusing, before I reminded myself she was still but a child. Sixteen. That meant something different these days.

"Totally dead, _way_ dead." Cordelia said. She was enjoying this.

"So it's not just a little dead then?" Xander joked.

That reminded me of a line from _The Princess Pride_.

Stop giving me that look. I don't live under a rock. I love that movie. A lot. I've seen lots of films. What's the point of living potentially forever if you're not going to experience new things?

"Don't you have elsewhere to be?" Cordelia snapped.

"You know, if you need a shoulder to cry on," Jesse offered, "or, just to nibble on-"

"How did he die?" Buffy interrupted. I was about to ask that myself.

"I don't know." Cordelia said, in a tone that said: "Why should I care?"

"Were there any marks?" Buffy sounded desperate now.

I figured right about now would be a good time to take my leave. I needed to get a look at that corpse, and then I needed to check out the library. If I left now, I could beat the Slayer to both. I took a step back.

"Excuse me, Willow," I murmured to her, she looked up at me, "I must take my leave now. I mean, I've gotta go. I'll see you around?"

She nodded, that smile back in place. "Sure!" she said. "Hey," she said as I started to leave, I turned back, "you coming to the Bronze tonight?" I tilted my head.

"The what?"

"Oh, it's this club we like to go to, you want to come?" She sounded like a child asking for a treat. I couldn't refuse her.

"Of course!" I said with a smile.

"Great! I can walk you there if you want? Where do you live? I'll meet you there."

I hesitated. My current living quarters were…less than stellar. And by that I mean I had moved into an abandoned building that already had boarded up windows that saved me the trouble of having to do it myself.

A fake address I could use, and just meet her outside the building, but I could already foresee that presenting a problem should she ever come looking for me.

"Actually," I said, "why don't I meet you at your place? M-My, uh, parents haven't quite got everything put together and…they hate company."

It was a poor excuse, but better than none.

"Oh, okay." Willow agreed. She quickly gave me her address, and told me what her house looked like.

_Such a sweet, trusting little thing. The easiest prey we've ever had._

'She's not prey.'

_Not yet._

I turned and strode away quickly. I broke into a run once I was inside, and I charged past the hall monitors and the other milling students.

I'm fast, but I'm quiet, too. I followed the signs to the girls' locker room and ran through the door before anyone could think to stop me.

Once inside, I slowed down and tested the air.

The police hadn't arrived yet, which meant they would be soon. I would have to do this quickly if I wanted to beat them and the Slayer. No doubt she would be checking out the scene. She needed to see if this was vampire work as well.

I could already smell the scent of corpse in the air. I followed it, and soon found the body under a thick blanket. I knelt and pulled the cover back

It had been a young man. A youth himself. He was completely drained, which meant he wasn't possessed. He had been a meal, the poor lad. I didn't need any further confirmation that this had been a vampire attack, but I leant over his body any way and took off my sunglasses.

Two holes in his neck.

I put the cover back and swallowed, then stood and shifted my backpack.

This was bad. First the Slayer, now a vampire, what next?

I had a feeling the library was the answer.

I stole swiftly back to the door and peered out. The hall was still crowded, but no one was looking this way, so I took my leave and headed for the library. Just in time, too. On the way out, I smelled Buffy coming in.


	4. Chapter 4: Discoveries in the Library

The library was lovely. I felt at home as soon as I walked in. I didn't see the librarian right off the bat, I heard him rustling around behind another bookshelf across the way from me, however.

I eased one of the doors shut behind me, and stepped up the few steps to second level of the library, and then immediately made for the fiction section.

Why, you may ask? Well, I wanted to check out their selection, but also because it gave me a good vantage point to watch the entrance, as well as the side-room, and not be noticed myself from any of the aforementioned places, or the study tables down below.

Don't ask me how I knew something was going to happen in the library, I just did. I've been around a long time, remember. I've learned to act on my instinct. It's not always right, but it has had time to develop.

As I reached the back row of books, I let my fingers trail over the spines of familiar titles, as if I was greeting old friends. I'm a bit sentimental about books. I don't have many…or, any friends, really, except books. Books last longer than people.

Something interrupted my ceremonial greeting, however, when I inhaled to catch the pleasant, comforting scent of old and new books, I caught scent of yet another smell that seemed to be following me around today.

'Xander?' I thought, whipping my head around to where the scent was coming from. He was at the far end of the platform, behind another row of bookshelves. I had to avoid him.

I rethought this whole situation and nearly decided to leave. That was the paranoid part of me speaking. My first instinct in any potentially unpleasant situation is to flee, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed a silly idea.

This was the school library, after all. I had every reason to be here.

Besides, it was too late to leave. Buffy came barging in. She didn't sound happy.

"All right." She called out.

"Sorry?" a British voice responded. That had to be the librarian.

"You heard about the dead guy, right?" Buffy continued, marching in. She sounded different. She sounded commanding, ready for a fight. She sounded fed up.

'That's a Slayer.' I thought, peering out around the shelf I was hiding behind. I saw my first look at the librarian: another tall man. Very tall, actually, to me at least. Dressed in tweed, which I could only find appropriate, with round glasses.

He looked bookish, and very smart.

I liked him.

"The dead guy in the locker?" Buffy said as she marched up to one of the study tables and set her bag down on it.

"Yes." The librarian said, coming forward. He held several books in each hand.

"'Cause, it's the weirdest thing," Buffy answered, coming up the stairs towards him, "he's got two little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre?"

The librarian frowned as he looked down at her.

"Aren't you just going: 'Ooh!'?" Buffy finished.

The librarian stared, when pale for a moment, and then got this resigned look on his face. He dipped his head.

"I was afraid of this." He said.

"Well, I wasn't." Buffy answered. "It's my first day, I was afraid that I was going to be behind in all my classes; that I wouldn't make any friends; that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think that there would be vampires on campus!"

Mercy but she sounded so very, very young when she said that.

"And I don't care." She said determinedly.

"Then why are you here?" The librarian asked.

Why was she here, anyway? Telling all of this to a librarian? Someone she didn't even know at that?

His question put her at a loss. She hesitated.

"T-To tell you that…I don't care. Which…I don't and…have now told you. So…bye."

She turned and started back down the stairs.

"Is he-" the librarian began, arresting her descent, "will he, rise again?"

"Who?"

"The boy."

"No." Buffy answered. "He's just dead."

"Can you be sure?"

"To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood, and then you have to suck some of their blood, it's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just going to kill you." She caught herself, "Why am I still talking to you?"

She started to leave again. This time she actually managed to make it back down the stairs.

"You really have no idea what's going here do you?" the librarian said. He sounded desperate. "You think it's coincidence, your being here? That boy was just the beginning."

Buffy turned.

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

"Because you are the Slayer," the librarian said softly, grimly, "And to each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a chosen one, one born with the strength and-"

Buffy broke in, her voice sarcastic.

"-skill to hunt the vampires and stop the spread of their evil- blah, blah, blah. I've heard it, okay?"

The librarian sighed, exasperated.

"I really don't understand this attitude, you've accepted your duty, you've slain vampires before."

"Yeah, and I've both been there and done that and I'm moving on."

"What do you know about this town?" the librarian suddenly asked, moving off to the office, looking for something.

"It's two hours away from Neiman Marcus?" Buffy quipped.

"Dig a bit in the history of this place, you'll find a-a steady stream of fairly odd occurrences. I believe this whole area is a center of mystical energy; that things gravitate towards it, th-that you might not find elsewhere."

He emerged from the office, carrying several ancient looking volumes.

I felt an instant yearning to start poring over them. I was probably around when they were first bound, but I had a feeling I hadn't read those yet.

"Like vampires?" Buffy suggested. The librarian started handing her books from the stack.

"Like zombies," he answered, placing a volume in her hand with the listing of every subject, "werewolves, incubi, succubae-

"Exploding ducks?" I whispered as a suggestion.

"everything you've ever dreaded under your bed but told yourself it couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real."

"What? You sent away for the Time life series?" The librarian looked abashed.

"Uh..w-well, yes."

"Did you get the free phone?"

"The calendar."

"Cool. But, okay, first of all: I am a vampire Slayer, and secondly: I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill them?"

The poor man, he looked so confused and distraught.

"I'm a Watcher," he said. Ah, yes, that explained it. I should have known. A Slayer has to have Watcher. I think I'm finally beginning to get dementia. It was only a matter of time, and heaven knows I've a lot of that.

"I-I haven't the skill-" he explained, but Buffy interrupted him.

"Oh, come on. A stake through the heart, a little sunlight, it's like falling off a log."

"A Slayer slays," he tried explaining, as though he was speaking to a child, and, to be fair she was acting like one. Because she was one. "A Watcher-"

"Watches?" Buffy finished for him.

"Yes-No!" he set the volumes she'd handed back to him down and tried again. It was like watching an episode of _Fawlty Towers_. I could just see his annoyance gauge rising with every passing minute and every jibe exchanged.

"He…he trains her, he…he prepares her."

"Prepares me for what?" Buffy demanded. "For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead: Prepare me."

That _really_ took the librarian aback.

She just sighed at him, grabbed her bag, and marched away, leaving him speechless. He followed after her, and as they passed through the doors I heard Xander step out from around his hiding spot.

Of course. I'd forgotten he was there. He'd heard the whole thing.

I groaned inwardly and pressed my forehead against the books.

"What?" I heard him mutter to himself.

This was getting complicated.


	5. Chapter 5: Something Wicked is Here

I waited a good fifteen minutes after Xander left before I left. The air felt thicker, heavier, and more sinister.

Something big was definitely happening here. Something was coming. The Watcher at least seemed to think so. I had little reason to doubt his word. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about, and why would a Watcher lie to the Slayer?

The Slayer seemed less than pleased about this development. So was I, for that matter.

Call me naïve, but I had been rather hoping being 'called' back here would end up being another witch trying to blow up a football team. That's what I get for hoping, I suppose. You'd think I'd have learned by now that things very rarely go according to one's desires.

The rest of the day passed in relative quiet. I shared a few classes with Buffy, Willow, and Xander, but Buffy was distracted and didn't speak to me most of the time, and I must confess I wasn't exactly friendly towards her. I wanted to go unnoticed by the Slayer as much as possible.

Forgive me if I'm wary of being staked. I still have a scar from where one over-eager young vampire-hunter (not a Slayer) had figured out why I didn't have a reflection and had hunted me down. He'd stabbed me, but I had turned at the last second, so he got me in the chest, but not the heart.

I know I said I'm more vulnerable than most vampires, and I am, but…well, not when I get a taste of blood. I…I'm not proud of this, but at the time it felt justifiable.

I drained him. It healed me, but…he had just been a young thing. Maybe eighteen…I can still remember the look on his face…

All right, moving on.

Willow was as friendly as ever. She kept talking about the Bronze, about books, what I liked to read, what she liked to read, etc. She was delightful. She had read most of what I had read, as it turned out. Well, out of the few I mentioned.

When I told her I had been to Oxford I thought she was going to faint with delight, she got so excited. She demanded to know all about the library, and prattled on about C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Lewis Carroll, and how they had gone to Oxford. It did me good to see such enthusiasm. I couldn't help but wonder how she would have reacted if I confessed I had actually had tea with dear Charles (a.k.a. Lewis Carroll). She probably would have thought me as mad as his Hatter.

Xander, on the other hand, mostly talked to Willow. I don't think he quite knew what to say to me. He'd make jokes when I answered vaguely about where I had lived before, but seemed impressed to learn I was a 'bit' of a world traveler.

I didn't say much, really. I try not to give out too much information. It's just safer that way.

I must say, it was delightful to listen to Xander and Willow joke and laugh and talk together. Even if I didn't understand all of what they were talking about, it was fun to watch them. At the same time, however, it was a little sad.

Willow was obviously madly in love with Xander, but he saw her as his best friend, or his sister. He couldn't see how much she adored him. That's very often the case, I've found. It never fails to confuse me.

Then again, it's fifty years since I've been in love. Perhaps I've forgotten what it feels like to feel that uncertainty, that hesitation?

Love is such an inconvenient thing.

I arrived at Willow's house early, so I took a moment to look it over.

It was a cheerful building. Warm lights glowed in the windows, plants were all over the place, the garden as well manicured, the porch was clean. I could hear voices chattering to each other just beyond the door.

In short, it felt like a home.

I hated to interrupt the voices, but I knocked on the door anyway.

I pulled self-consciously at the hem of my T-shirt. Since it was dark I didn't have to cover myself from head to toe, for which I was grateful.

The only drawback was my skin. It was practically glowing in the dim light coming from inside the house.

Maybe I should have worn a long-sleeve shirt after all?

The door opened and Willow poked her head out, her long hair falling over her shoulder. She grinned when she saw me and held up a finger to tell me to wait a moment.

"Mom, I'm going!" she called over her shoulder.

"Have fun, honey!" her mother yelled back.

"You're early." She said as she closed the door behind her. An idea came to me and I returned her smile.

"A wizard is never late," I told her gravel, "nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." Willow's smile widened and she performed that adorable laugh once again. She grabbed my wrist between both of her hands and trotted up the sidewalk, pulling me with her.

"Come on!" she said, "This is going to be so much fun! I haven't anyone to talk about _Lord of the Rings_ with in forever!" I grinned and ran with her, letting the excitement of the moment infect me as well. It felt good to feel like a schoolgirl again. At least, I assumed that was what I was feeling like.

I had only ever been tutored at home by my mother, so I'm not really sure what a schoolgirl is supposed to feel like. I assume it means careless? Giddy?

That's what I felt like, so we'll say I felt like a school-girl.

Sorry, digressing again.

"Me either." I told her. Only I was being literal.

The only reason I went to The Bronze was because of Willow.

I don't go to parties or clubs. Remember how I said loud noises hurt? Yes, well, school had been a whisper compared to the clangor going on in there. I could hear it pumping through the building as we walked up to the door.

The 'bouncer' didn't even ask for ID. We just each paid five dollars and then went in.

I glanced at Willow as we went in. She didn't seem the type to sneak off to go drinking and clubbing on the sly. Plus, her mom hadn't seemed to mind her going off so late, so I doubted there would be any drinking going on.

More than likely we were just here to talk. I also had a feeling Xander would be around here somewhere.

We sat down and ordered drinks (I got water, Willow got orange juice) and once again began a discussion about books.

We both had the same taste in books. And by that I mean we read pretty much every genre. Except romance. I didn't read romance. Willow had, on occasion. She said it was a guilty pleasure. Like brownies.

I could empathize.

We spoke pleasantly for several minutes, until something surprising happened: the Slayer showed up.

All of the bodies and noise had masked her scent, so I didn't know she was there until she came up to our spot at the counter.

"Hey!" she greeted Willow. She didn't see me, but then glanced over and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, hey!" she said, "I almost didn't recognize you without the coat." She laughed. I laughed with her, but didn't say anything in response. What are you supposed to say to that sort of thing? Or are you even supposed to say something?

Social interactions are confusing.

"So are you guys here with someone?" she asked, sitting down beside me. I leaned back a bit so she could talk to Willow. By 'someone' I assumed she meant a male.

"Oh, no," Willow said, shaking her head, "I'm just here with Margery."

"And I'm here with Willow." I said with a smirk. Willow blushed and glanced at me, then gave a shrug and said, "Actually, I kind of thought Xander was going to show up too."

Ah, yes. I thought as much.

"Oh!" Buffy exclaimed. "Are you guys going out?"

I nearly covered my face with my hand.

Oh, if only…

"No, we're just friends." Willow said, sounding a bit sad. "We used to go out, but, we broke up."

"How come?" Buffy asked.

That was a great question. Willow was an enchanting smart, not to mention beautiful, girl. Any man should be overjoyed to have such a girl to call his own.

Willow's answer surprised me.

"He stole my Barbie."

I had to think for a moment of what that was. I vaguely remembered seeing one in a store last year. I don't really pay attention to toys.

Buffy looked surprised as well.

"Oh, we were five." Willow explained. I couldn't help but snort with laughter. I never snort. I blame the fact that I was drinking at the time.

"I don't actually date a whole lot…lately." Willow continued. She seemed fine with that. On the surface, at least. It was hard to tell if she wished that was different or if she was happy being alone.

"Why not?" Buffy asked.

"Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty, or at all." I smiled at her. The poor dear. "I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away." Oh good Lord.

"It's not _that_ bad." Buffy said.

"Oh it is." Willow insisted. "I think boys are more interested in girls who can talk."

"I don't think that's the case anymore." I murmured. Buffy echoed this statement.

"You really haven't been dating for a while." She said sympathetically.

"I don't see that as a problem," I joined in, "if a young man cannot appreciate the art of conversation but instead lets his testosterone control how he thinks of a female and so degrades her to little more than a pleasure object, I think it's safer that young women don't date right now."

They both looked at me, surprised that I had said so much. I was surprised too.

"Sorry." I said. I don't know why I apologized. I got nervous, all right?

"Oh don't be." Willow said. "That was nice of you to say. You're right. Anyway, it's probably easier for you," she continued, turning back to Buffy. I dropped my eyes to my glass but glanced at Buffy's face so as to watch her reaction.

Her conversation with the Watcher didn't make it sound as though she had been any less isolated than Willow, lately.

"Yeah, real easy." She said, suddenly finding the straws in her drink very interesting.

"I mean, you don't seem too shy." Willow explained.

"Well, my philosophy-do you want to hear my philosophy?" she looked at Willow and me.

"Certainly." I answered. Willow was a little more eager than I was.

"Oh yeah, I do!"

"Life is short." Buffy said.

_For you mortals, perhaps_.

"Life is short?" Willow repeated.

"Not original, I'll grant you, but it's true, you know? Why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy and if he's going to laugh at you. Seize the moment. 'Cause, tomorrow you might be dead."

I think that last part came out more morbid than she'd expected it to.

Willow didn't seem to think so.

"Aw, that's nice!"

The Slayer suddenly looked up and I saw her eyes flicker. I followed her gaze and saw the Watcher standing up above us, looking decidedly lost and out of place amongst the young, lithe, pulsing bodies around him.

Why do they call that dancing, anyway? It should be called wiggling.

I looked back at the Slayer.

"Um, I'll be right back." She said, dismounting from her barstool.

"Oh, it's okay, you don't _have_ to come back." Willow said, letting Buffy off the hook. Buffy and I both looked at her in surprise. Was she really this used to people not wanting to be around her that she just told people to feel free to leave her?

"I'll be back." Buffy assured her.

I knew she was going to talk to the Watcher. I needed to listen to that conversation.

First, I needed to find out what the man's name was. It was going to get tiresome, calling him the Watcher or the librarian all the time.

"Willow," I said, "what's the librarian's name again?"

"Oh it's Giles. Rupert Giles, I think. It might be Robert but I think it's Rupert."

Of course. He dresses in tweed, of course his name would be Giles. Rupert was just an added bonus. I almost felt like I was back in Oxford, if not for the absurdly loud music and thrashing young people.

"Thank you. Where's the lava-I mean, where's the toilet?" I asked.

"Oh, the girl's bathroom is just in the corner by the exit. You'll see the sign for it. It's neon pink."

I thanked her, promised her I would return shortly, and then swiftly made my way towards the bathroom, then, once I was sure she was no longer watching me, banked back, muscling my way through the crowd and to the stairs.

I reached the landing and hid behind a smaller group who weren't moving around as much. I was fairly close to Buffy and Giles, but it took a great deal of effort to focus in on their conversation and understand what they were saying.

"So, you like to party with the students?" Buffy asked, sauntering up to him. "Isn't that kind of skanky?"

These new words. What on earth is skanky?

"Oh, right, this is me having _fun_." Giles said sarcastically. "Watching clown-hair here prance about is my idea of a good time. I'd much rather be at home with a cup of Bovril and a good book."

I recoiled at the thought of Bovril, which is not to say I disapprove if you like it, but I had it once and I…would rather not think about the result. However, he won me over when he mentioned the book part of his good evening.

He was a librarian, after all, what else had I expected?

"You need a personality, stat." Buffy responded.

I sniffed disdainfully, which made a young lad who had been eyeing me turn away quickly and sniff at his arm-pit to see if he was what I had sniffed at. I rolled my eyes and pretended to be looking for someone down below.

"This is a perfect breeding ground for vampire activity;" Giles said, pointing below us, "it's dark, it's crowded-"

"Most everyone is drunk and full of angst and hormones." I muttered.

"-and I knew you were likely to show up and I had to make you understand."

"That the Harvest is coming, I know." Buffy finished.

I frowned. Harvest? What Harvest? That sounded ominous.

'This is what happens when you only follow half a lead, Margery.' I told myself. I would have to be more thorough next time. I've read Sherlock Holmes over three hundred times, but I've yet had to do much investigating myself.

Until now, that is.

"Your friend told me." Buffy said.

"What did you say?" Giles demanded, a deep frown creasing his forehead.

"The Harvest," Buffy repeated, "that mean something to you? Because I'm drawing a blank."

So the Watcher didn't know about the Harvest either? Well, at least I wasn't the only one clueless here.

"I-I'm not sure." Giles stammered, the wheels in his mind turning faster and faster. "Who told you this?"

"This…guy." Buffy said, realizing Giles didn't know anything more than she did. So the Slayer didn't know either? Did anyone know what was going on? Someone who was actually trying to stop something horrible happening, anyway?

"Dark…" Buffy continued, "gorgeous in an annoying sort of way-I figured you two were buds."

Now Giles really looked confused. Evidently he didn't know any gorgeous people.

"No." He said. "The Harvest?" he continued, "did he say anything else?"

"Something about the Mouth of Hell. I _really_ didn't like him."

Which of course meant she was interested. But…he had said something about the Hellmouth? Not many people knew about the Hellmouth. I had only learned what it was called by accidentally stumbling across it in an old manuscript in a monastery in Spain.

The music finally ended, and Giles walked around Buffy so that he stood on the other side of her. Another song started up and I groaned, rubbing my temples. Would the noise never stop? I was going to have to stuff my ears with cotton tomorrow.

"Look at them." Giles said disapprovingly. He sounded very much like a disgusted father. I half expected him to use the term 'whipper-snapper'. "Throwing themselves about, completely unaware of the danger that surrounds them."

He sounded like me.

"Lucky them." Buffy sounded wistful.

"Perhaps you're right," Giles suggested, "perhaps there is no trouble coming, the signs could be wrong. It's not as though you've been having the nightmares." Buffy tensed and he looked at her expectantly.

Nightmares? So, they were having nightmares, and I was feeling a pull?

The signs weren't wrong.

There was definitely trouble coming.

They started to move away, and I followed, nearly getting elbowed in the face a couple of times. It's really inconvenient being short, sometimes. Plus, I wearing black again, so maybe they couldn't see me, though my skin surely must have looked like a beacon with the lights flashing on me all the time.

"I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire." Buffy was saying. I swallowed. "It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny feelings for them, it's just that I'm not going to get extracurricular with it. You know, if I see one, sure I'll-"

This time Giles interrupted.

"Will you be ready?" he asked. "There's so much you don't know about them or about your own powers."

For some reason, his pointing out she didn't know much about them made me feel guilty. I wasn't a vampire, sure, but I nearly was. Close enough to make me a potential victim if she found out what I was. And here I had been chatting with her, acting normal, acting like I didn't know what she was or what was going on.

And Willow….I'd been lying to that sweet girl. But what was I to say? I couldn't exactly just tell her I was half a vampire, she'd think I was crazy. And if she believed me she'd be frightened of me. I didn't want her to be frightened of me. I wanted to be her friend.

And Buffy…I should tell her what I was. If she continued being friends with Willow, then she'd end up making friends with me. Sooner or later she would figure out what I was, she wasn't a dumb-blond by any means.

One way or another my true nature would be found out. If I waited, it would make me look the villain. It would make me look as though I had been targeting Willow, or even the Slayer herself.

On the other hand, if I just came right out and told her, would she kill me?

Possibly.

Giles was talking again. The more he described a vampire, the worse I felt.

"A vampire appears completely normal until the Feed is upon them, and then do they reveal their…true demonic visage."

That hurt too. I could feel the change when I fed, but I don't think it was as severe as the true face of other vampires I had seen. However, I couldn't be sure. After all, I couldn't exactly look in a mirror and tell, could I?

"You're like a textbook with arms," Buffy said, "I know this."

"The point is the Slayer should be able to see them anyway. Without looking, without thinking."

Oh dear.

"Can you tell me if there's a vampire in this building?" Giles queried.

Oh dear, oh dear. I felt myself pull away from them, half expecting her to look right at me. Instead, she looked down, scanning the crowd. I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped closer to the railing.

"Maybe." She answered. Giles wasn't pleased with that answer.

"You should _know_. Even through this mass and this din, you should be able to sense them. Well try." He motioned to the crowd. "Reach out with your mind, you have to hone your senses, focus, until the energy washes over you, until you feel every particle-"

"There's one!" Buffy announced. She pointed, but not at me. She pointed down. Giles followed her direction.

"W-Where?" he demanded.

"Right there, talking to that girl." She pointed again. I looked this time too and saw a young man. I narrowed my eyes, focusing solely on him and trying to block everything else out. I inhaled deeply and listened.

Sure enough, there was the faint scent of decay and darkness, and there was no heartbeat.

'Not bad, Slayer.' I thought, though it escaped me how on earth she had figured that out.

There was something mingled with that scent, however. Something familiar…

"You don't _know-_" Giles said, breaking my concentration.

"Oh please, look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up, and the shirt? Deal with that outfit for a moment."

Mercy. If a poorly constructed wardrobe gave a vampire away, I was doomed once she starting noticing I wore the same two shirts over and over again.

"It's dated?" Giles asked. I suppose he was no more knowledgeable about that sort of thing than I was.

"It's carbon-dated." Buffy said. Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Trust me, only someone living underground for ten years would think _that_ was still the look." Poor Giles still looked a bit lost.

"B-But you didn't…_hone_." He insisted. I wanted to laugh.

"Oh no." Buffy said suddenly. Every desire to laugh faded and I snapped to attention. I looked down at the vampire.

The girl he was talking to had been Willow.

How long had I left her alone? She must have come looking for me!

If my heart had been beating it would have stopped at that moment. As it was, I felt my chest constrict in panic. What had I done? I'd left Willow alone with a lion on the prowl. How could I have been so careless? How could I have not noticed him?

I moved towards the Slayer. If she was going after the vampire, I was coming with her, and the consequences be hanged. Let her know I was an abomination, I didn't care. I had to protect Willow. I had to save her from that fiend down there.

"Isn't that-?" Giles began.

"Willow." Buffy and I both said at the same time.

They both heard me and turned. They both looked surprised, but Giles looked more confused.

"What're you doing up here?" Buffy asked.

"Looking for you." I answered honestly, then looked down at Willow. "We have to help her." I said.

"How did-" she began, but Giles interrupted her.

"Sorry, but, who are you?"

"Margery." I answered. "You don't know me. Yet. But that's not important right now. What's important is getting Willow away from that vampire."

Now they both looked confused.

"I can explain everything later," I promised, "but we've got to go _now_."

The vampire and Willow looked as though they were moving for the exit.

"What's she doing?" Giles asked, leaning over the rail.

"Seizing the moment." Buffy said grimly, and marched for the stairs. I followed. I caught a final glimpse of Willow and the vampire. He had her by the hand, leading his lamb to the slaughter, while Willow looked overjoyed and content.

That look sent a knife through me.

This was all my fault.

By the time we reached the ground floor, they had already disappeared. Buffy looked around desperately.

"Where'd they go?" she growled. I grabbed hold of her arm to make her stop moving and closed my eyes.

"Wait." I said. There it was: Willow's scent. "This way." I said, pulling her with me towards a dark, empty corridor in the back. To her credit, she didn't ask any questions, she just followed me, stiff and ready for a fight.

In the corridor were dusty old pieces of furniture. She broke off the leg of a chair as we passed by, but I knew she wasn't going to use it on me. Yet.

I heard a footstep going up a stair and broke into a trot. She followed, but stopped my before we got all the way up the stairs. She gave me a warning look and we listened.

Somewhere, someone or something laughed. We went back down and I followed Buffy as she went towards a door. She hesitated, then gripped the handle and swung it open swiftly, barely giving me enough time to brace myself had anyone come through that door.

She sighed, closed the door, then motioned down the other end of the corridor.

"Let's try this way. Do you sense them?"

I tried, but Willow's scent was filling the whole place. No one had been back here nearly all day, so her scent was dominating everything. It smelled like it was everywhere. I shrugged and shook my head.

"Sorry." I said.

"You owe me an explanation."

"Later." I said. She nodded.

"Later. Let's try down this way." She turned and started to walk down the hallway in the opposite direction when I sensed something just as a shadow moved towards Buffy. But this wasn't something malicious.

"Buffy, wait!" I called, just as she grabbed Cordelia and slammed her against the wall, raising her 'stake' for the kill.

I darted to her side and grabbed her arm.

"I said wait!" I barked at her.

Cordelia looked shocked and infuriated rather than scared. Typical. Buffy looked embarrassed and dropped her arm.

"What is your childhood trauma?" Cordelia demanded as her friends appeared in a doorway beside us.

"Uh, have…you guys seen Willow?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, it's rather urgent we find her." I added. That didn't seem to impress Cordelia at all.

"Why? Do you need to attack her with a stick?"

"She's in danger." I snapped, "Buffy is on edge, that's all. Now have you or have you not seen Willow?"

Cordelia blinked at me.

"No." she said.

I growled under my breath, then both Buffy and I whirled and stalked away from them. Well, I stalked, Buffy trotted.

When we exited the hallway and reentered the din, the Watcher was coming to meet us. He looked worried, as well he should. I was worried. Very worried. And guilty. Giles looked a little proud, however.

"That was quick," he said, "Well done! I-I have to go to the library, this Harvest-"

Oh. Woops.

Buffy sighed.

"I didn't find them." She announced. Giles seized her arm and turned her.

"The vampire is not dead?" he said.

"No. But my social life is on the critical list." Buffy snapped back. I rolled my eyes and rubbed my temples. Sometimes I really, _really_ can't stand young people. Particularly young girls.

"Oh mercy, whatever shall we do to rescue your social life?" I said. Buffy glared at me, and Giles finally remembered my existence.

"You know what?" Buffy said, getting heated, "You can just mind your own business. Who are you anyway? You've been lying me to this whole time, haven't you? Why are you here?"

"Destiny." I said with a shrug, "I was pulled here."

"What, um, what are you, exactly?" Giles asked, adjusting his glasses so he could peer at me as though I were a specimen. I really didn't have time to go into this right now, but I had to answer them honestly if I was going to help Willow.

"Half-vampire." I answered. He started to ask something else but I cut him off, "It would require a long explanation, one which we do not have time for. Willow is the priority. That's why I haven't left yet, and I'm not until I know she's safe. Understood, sir?"

I met his eyes. He looked startled, intrigued, a little impressed, and…frightened.

Oh God…how I hate when people look frightened of me.

Buffy stared, and I could sense her tightening her grip on that stake, not that she would pull anything amidst this crowd.

I'd just made an enemy.

"Right." He said. "Apologies, Miss." Egad. He called me 'Miss'. I was old enough to be his grandmother twenty times over but he called me 'Miss'. I could have kissed the man, it felt good to be called something other than 'child' or 'monster', or the always-favorite: 'abomination'.

"But…you will discuss it?" he said.

"Later." I said with a sigh.

"Yes, of course, later. Well, what do we do?" he addressed Buffy with the question.

"I'll take care of it."

"But I-I need to come with you, yes?"

I liked the man, even if he was frightened of me, but I didn't want to have to protect yet another fragile mortal whilst searching for another one. I looked at Buffy, hoping she would turn him down. If need be I'd use the 'two's company, three's a crowd' line.

"Don't worry!" Buffy insisted, "One vampire I can handle." She looked at me. "Two, if need be."

I shook my head and gave her a rueful smile.

"Half a vampire, remember? Can you handle one and a half?"

She actually smirked at that. "Sure." She said, then motioned with her head. "Come on. We've gotta get out of here." She started moving through the crowd, and I followed, keeping an eye on that stake.

Somehow we made it out of that hellhole and into the open air.

"Smell anything?" she asked me. I lifted my head and inhaled the clean, cigarette-smokeless air. I didn't smell Willow, but I did catch the scent of decay, and hunger. It was faint, but unmistakable if you knew what to look for.

The vampire.

"I think-" I began when someone approached us.

"Hey!" Xander said, addressing Buffy, of course, "Leaving already?"

"Xander! Have you seen Willow?" Buffy asked, "She left with a guy."

"You're talking about Willow, right?" Xander said. "Scorin' the Bronze," he said with a grin, "workin' the-"

"We need to find Willow." Buffy and I broke in simultaneously. "Where would he take her?" Buffy asked. I grabbed her wrist and started pulling her in the direction of the scent, which was rapidly fading.

"Oh, I hope he's not a vampire," Xander said, making us both stop dead in our tracks, "because then you might have to slay him."

I winced and looked at Buffy. She looked crestfallen.

I didn't blame her. If I had my secret to practically everyone I had just met after my first day in town, I'd be pretty upset too. In a way, I sort of had, though perhaps not to such an extent as Buffy…I don't think.

Anyway, I think I win when it comes to subtlety because I had actually had to tell them what I was.

"Was there…a school bulletin?" Buffy demanded, "Was it in the newspaper? Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know I'm a Slayer?" she whirled on Xander.

"Willow doesn't." I pointed out. She ignored me, of course.

"I only know that you think you're the Slayer," Xander replied, "and the reason I know that-"

"It doesn't matter," Buffy interrupted, "just tell me where would Willow go?"

"You're serious?" Xander said quietly.

Oh, merciful heavens he didn't believe her. Or Giles. Or, by extensions, me. Sure, this sort of thing was out of the ordinary, but I thought surely he would have believed the Watcher. He was a figure of authority, more or less.

We didn't have time to argue.

"Xander." I murmured. I lowered my fangs, exciting the Essence. I had to look away from Xander as he looked at me, otherwise I would have latched onto that fear I immediately felt pour off of him as he inhaled sharply.

"There are very dark, powerful things in existence which you know not of." I continued. "And Willow is in the grasp of one of them."

"You're a-a-" he stammered as I retracted my fangs and looked at the ground. I hate doing that sort of thing. Especially in mixed company.

"If we don't find Willow," Buffy said grimly, "then there's going to be one more dead body in the morning."

I looked up. Xander had gone ashen and was staring at me, but he looked at Buffy when he heard the word 'dead'. He swallowed, trembling slightly, and nodded. Finally. Progress.

"This way." I said, pointing in the direction of the scent. "They went that way, I smell him."

"What's that way?" Buffy asked Xander.

"Cemetery." He answered.

How cliché.

I looked at Buffy, she looked at me, and then wordlessly we turned and sprinted off into the darkness, while Xander loped behind us.

I was faster than the Slayer, I'll have you know. But for all that, she was rather speedy herself. Xander, poor thing, puffed and wheezed after us. To be honest, I was surprised he even followed at all. But it was sweet to see he cared about Willow.

We reached the cemetery soon enough, and I smelled the scent grow stronger. There was a second decaying scent. Two vampires. I warned Buffy as much, but that didn't faze her one bit, though Xander made a groaning noise.

"Just show me where." She said. I nodded and pointed at the most likely source.

"The mausoleum." I said.

"Is Willow with them?" Xander asked. I inhaled again. There it was, that light, sweet scent.

"Yes."

"Then let's move." Buffy said, and again we ran.

I heard Willow scream as we got closer, and that made me run even faster. The Slayer was right behind me when I burst through the iron door of the mausoleum and skidded to a halt at the sight of two vampires, Willow, and Jesse.

"Well," Buffy said, entering behind me, "this is nice. It's a little bare, but a dash of paint, a few throw pillows: call it home."

I had to admire how nonplussed she was about all this. Xander couldn't stop panting. Willow, the poor thing, looked frightened and confused. I just wanted to scoop her up and whisk her back to that comfy, loving home we had left earlier.

_Destroy the ones who oppose you_. The Essence whispered to me as I glared at the vampire who had taken her. I felt a growl burn through my chest as the vampire looked at me.

_Destroy and annihilate them._

"Who are you?" the female vampire said. She was showing her true face. They both were. She thought it made her look intimidating. It gave her confidence.

_Show her how wrong she is. Rip that face off. Make it bleed._

"You mean there's someone in this town that actually doesn't know already?" Buffy quipped. "Phew! That's a relief, I'm telling you," Buffy was walking around the chamber, the vampires closing in, I stepped alongside Buffy and locked onto the female. I felt the burning growing.

_Kill her. Kill them all. Show them how powerful we are._

"Having a secret identity in this town," Buffy continued, "is a job."

"Buffy, we bail now, right?" Xander said.

_Weakling. He doesn't deserve to share in this. _

'Enough.'

_Too little. We could be more. You're too afraid._

I growled then. All right, I downright snarled. I felt my face contort, and my fangs snapped at the female. She recoiled in surprise. Buffy faltered for a split second, then kept going.

"Okay, first of all what's with the outfit?" she teased. They were getting closer.

_That's right. Come closer. We'll tear you apart. We'll show you what happens when you cross us. You'll burn and break. _

I'm ashamed to admit it, but the Essence and I were thinking as one now. I was angry. Angry with the Essence, angry with the vampires, angry with Buffy for already treating me as a monster, angry at Xander for being so fearful; I was even angry with Willow and Giles for being so afraid of me.

Anger is never a could thing when dealing with a demon.

I needed to hurt something.

"Live in the now, okay?" Buffy said, "You look like DeBarge."

The female growled at me and I snarled back at her, trembling with rage. Trembling with the bliss of unleashing that rage after so long.

Buffy glanced over at us.

"Now, we can do this the hard way, or-actually it's just the hard way."

"That's fine with me." The female said. Oh how I hated her.

"Are you sure?" Buffy said, "Now this is not going to be pretty, we're talking violence, strong language adult content-"

The male snarled and lunged for Buffy while she whipped a stake out of her shirt. The female darted for me and I yowled and dove at her. We collided and I felt her nails dig into my neck before I lashed out.

I wasn't nearly as strong as she was, but I was mindless with fury and had momentum on my side. Plus I was small and faster.

My hit connected with her jaw and sent her twisting and tumbling into the wall. I swooped in, kicking her in the stomach so she flinched away. I enjoyed it. I kicked again, caught her in her face, felt a fang break as she fell back with a grunt.

Oh that felt good.

Buffy caught her vampire with the stake as he ran at her back. She got him right in the heart. He gasped, choked, then fell, turning into dust the moment he hit the ground.

I took a step back from my victim and saw Xander quail and look sick.

The female gaped at her fallen comrade, then at Buffy and me. I loved seeing that fear. It made me excited. Too excited. I could heard everyone's heartbeats, peppering away from adrenaline and fear. A chorus of ecstasy to me.

I snarled again, and started to go for the female when she stood back up.

"Margery?" Willow's small, quivering, frightened voice reached me and I snapped my head to the left to look at her. She winced and quailed.

That hurt. I remembered then that I presumably looked like a monster. What's more important was that I was acting like one. No wonder she shrank from me. I felt the fury fade, replaced with concern and shame.

I was ashamed for how I'd been feeling. I swallowed, blinked, and felt my face melt to normal.

"Willow." I breathed.

"See what happens when you roughhouse?" Buffy said to the female.

"He was young and stupid." The female began.

"Xander, go!" Buffy ordered.

He nodded and started down for his friends. I looked back at Buffy, asking permission. She nodded to me and then looked past me to the female.

I jumped over the crypt in the center of the chamber and landed beside Willow. She winced again, but I took her hand gently and tried to smile reassuringly. She didn't trust me. Why should she? I had lied to her too. I was a monster. You don't trust abominations.

"It's all right." I said, "I won't hurt you. Let's get you home." I pulled her to her feet as Xander helped Jesse rise. I caught a whiff of blood as they rose and I stared at Jesse's neck, where blood was seeping from two small wounds.

_See? A treat is already prepared._

'We came to save. Not kill.'

I helped Xander with Jesse and we all darted off into the night, while the Slayer started fighting the female. A part of me yearned to go back and join the fray. It had been so long since I'd had anyone to fight alongside me, not that I do a lot of fighting, mind you, but just the thrill of the hunt had been missing from my existence for so long.

No matter. The Slayer had entrusted me with her friends' lives'. I had a duty to see them to safety.

I had to see Willow to safety. I owed her an apology. And an explanation.

We charged across the cemetery, when I felt something was…wrong.

"Stop!" I barked. Xander slid (literally, the grass was wet) to a halt and the others all looked at me. The air was rank with that hunger, that decay. There were more vampires. Many, many more. More than I could handle by myself.

"This way." I said, turning them.

"Where are we going?" Willow asked.

"Away from the horde." I answered, grasping her arm and wrapping the other around Jesse to help Xander support him. We started running again, but even as we started putting distance between us and the others, I couldn't help but feel that something was very, _very_ wrong.


	6. Chapter 6: The Aftermath

We weren't fast enough. Even with all of us practically carrying Jesse, we simply weren't fast enough. I could feel and smell the horde closing in, and hear their hisses and laughter as they came rolling over the headstones.

I felt Willow tense beside me, and I heard a whimper. It may have been any of them that whimpered, honestly.

We weren't going to make it. Not all of us, anyway. Running wasn't getting us anywhere, and having our back to the enemy was putting us at even more of a disadvantage. I didn't want to do it, but we were going to have to stop and make a stand.

"Stop!" I called. They all immediately squeezed into a wad, arms wrapped around each other. I took a step back and looked back. I could see the horde coming. At least eight of them. Probably more. No more than twelve, but still too many for me to handle alone. Even if one of the children joined in, we wouldn't be a match for them.

We had to try, though.

I walked over to a tree and began snapping off branches. They were flimsy, pitiful things, but they were better than nothing.

"Here. We're going to have to fight." I handed one to Xander and one to Willow. Jesse was in no condition to help. Willow blanched and her chin quivered, while Xander just stared at the oncoming vampires.

"I can't believe this is happening." He muttered. "We're going to die."

"Eventually, yes." I snapped at him. He was scaring Willow even more. We didn't need any more fear in the air, it was already sending the vampires into a frenzy.

"But not tonight." I added. I turned back around and tightened my grip on my stick. You couldn't even call it a stake, it was so pitiful.

The vampires were running at us now. I swallowed and got into a fighting position…at least, I assume it was a fighting position. I haven't been in many battles so how am I supposed to know if it was?

I put myself in front of the children. With any luck, I could do enough damage to keep the brunt of them off of the younger folk.

Make no mistake: I had no delusions of grandeur. I knew this was not going to end well. In fact I was all but certain that I was going to die that night. And, even though I'd promised Xander otherwise. I was certain they would die too.

The thought of one of those…_things_ draining the life from them made me angry.

Good. I needed that anger.

I felt the Essence stirring, and my fangs emerged on their own.

The vampires were on us, then.

I ran at them right before they reached us. One swung at me, I spun away from his fist, ducked under another flailing arm, and came up in time to stab one in the back with my stick. He howled as he disintegrated, but I had no time to enjoy my victory.

There so many more, swarming me, leaving me no room to maneuver. I just relied on my smallness to keep trying to dodge the snapping fangs and hands that reached for me.

It wasn't enough. Blows were weakening me. A hard hit to my head sent me to the ground, and the group started for the young people. I had three vampires surrounding me. One kicked, one hit, and one reached down to grab me by the hair.

_MAKE. THEM. BLEED._

I shrieked in rage when he dragged me to my feet by my hair, and I sprang straight at his face. He hadn't expected such a direct assault. He stumbled back just as I felt my fangs sink into his cheek. My jaws clamped down and I shoved him back as hard as I could, at the same time whipping my head to the side.

I heard him scream in agony as the flesh in his cheek ripped off in my mouth. I spat it out in a bloody mouthful and then threw my stick as hard as I could at the vampire who had been kicking me. He disintegrated, but that left me unarmed to face the third vampire.

Behind me I heard Xander pleading, Jesse was crying, and Willow screamed in fear.

We were lost. But I would take one more down with me.

The vampire and I ran at each other.

'I'm sorry, Willow.' I thought. I wanted to make sure my final action, at least in my head, was to apologize to that poor girl.

Right before we collided, a sudden flash of blue caught my eye, and then suddenly the vampire and Buffy were tumbling together in the darkness. I didn't have time to rethink my sudden rescue, I just adapted.

I swerved towards them and pounced on the vampire just as he rolled on top of Buffy. I pinned him down, but he was far stronger than me and started to push me off when Buffy was suddenly on her feet again and above both of us. I saw the stake in her hand and dodged left just as she struck.

The stake struck home and the vampire was gone.

"My thanks." I said, rising, then remembered Willow and spun.

"Follow!" I shouted at her. I didn't need to, she was already right behind me.

Willow was screaming, and there was a vampire at her neck.

"Get off me!" she cried. I snarled. Loudly.

The vampire whirled around as I swung my fist at her.

"Get back!" I shouted. My voice…it didn't sound like me. It sounded deeper…animalistic. I didn't like it.

_Let me out. I can help._

'You've done enough.'

Buffy staked the vampire as soon as she hit the ground, and I immediately knelt to help Willow sit up. She let me help her, but she wouldn't look at me.

'One step forward, two steps back.' I thought. I had to play the beast for now, though. To protect her. Even if she didn't realize it. _Especially_ if she didn't realize it. That didn't mean I had to be pleased with the situation.

"Where're the boys?" Buffy demanded.

"A few grabbed Jesse and ran off, I saw two dragging Xander that way." She pointed as I helped her to her feet, and then Buffy and I were running again. We caught up with them soon enough. They didn't seem in any particular hurry, and small wonder: Xander was unconscious.

I would have thought him already dead had I not heard his heartbeat.

Buffy staked one before they even knew we were there, and the other, seeing she was outnumbered, beat a hasty retreat, dropping Xander in the process.

Willow was beside him in a flash.

"Xander! Are you all right?" she asked as he started to rouse.

"Man, something hit me." He answered groggily.

"Where's Jesse?" I asked Xander. He shook his head and gave me a scared, sad look.

I tried testing the air, but all I could smell was decay. Too many vampires in one area will befoul the air in no time at all.

I swallowed and shook my head at Buffy. She frowned at me, and scanned the horizon. Of course she didn't see him either.

For a long time, no one said anything. There was nothing to be said: Jesse was lost. In comparison, our side hadn't done so poorly in battle. The vampires had more casualties than we had but…Jesse was just a boy. Not even a man yet.

And now he was gone.

That death was on me. I had taken responsibility for the children when I'd helped them from the mausoleum. It was on me that Willow had been taken in the first place, and now Jesse was gone and I hadn't been able to save him.

Buffy was giving me a hard look.

She was thinking the same thing.

Neither Willow or Xander would even look at me.

"I think-" I said after a dreadfully long silence, "I think…we should return home now. I think we've been through quite enough for this evening." No one answered.

"Willow?" I said gently. She looked at me then. She looked as though she was about to cry. I don't know what to do when people cry. I never do. Even during movies I get uncomfortable when people start crying.

No one ever tells you a certain way of behaving when people cry. There should be a book on the etiquette one should use when someone is crying. Especially for young girls.

I blinked and looked away.

"Do you wish me to see you home?" I finished.

"Absolutely not." Buffy snapped. I looked at her in surprise. Yes, I knew she was upset with me, but I would have thought she'd want the young ones protected tonight. But then I saw that look of suspicion in her eyes, and the way her jaw muscles were tight under her skin.

She didn't trust me.

"I'm not leaving you alone with them." She said. "For all I know you'd make one of them a snack."

"I would never harm the younglings." I said with a scowl. "If I wanted to I could have during the fray and you never would have known."

"The only reason you didn't is because you were too busy trying to save your own skin."

"I was trying to protect them!" I insisted.

"Well I'm sure Jesse would feel much better about being dinner if only he could hear that." Buffy answered back. I heard Willow gasp, and Xander turned green. Buffy realized what she'd said and looked down.

"Sorry." She murmured. Then looked back at me.

"You're not taking them home." She repeated.

"Fine." I said with a sigh. There was no point in arguing with her anymore. She wasn't going to change her mind anytime soon. I could understand her feelings, but that didn't mean they didn't sting. It's never pleasant to be reminded you're an abomination in the sight of other humans.

If I wasn't all human, then I was a monster.

"Are you going to kill me tonight, or am I to wait until I'm in a darkened alley?" I asked, meeting her eyes in a stare.

The silence dragged on and on and on.

"She did try to save us." Willow suddenly spoke. Her words were like music to my ears. I looked down at her.

"I don't think she would hurt us." She continued. "I'm not sure what's going on, but…I think we should not give her such a hard time. Tonight, at least."

"Thank you, young miss." I murmured. It was more than I had hoped for.

"All right." Buffy sighed. "Tonight you get a free pass. Tomorrow, though. We're having a serious talk."

"With your Watcher?" I didn't really need to ask. Buffy nodded, looking every bit the warrior.

"With Giles." She agreed.

"I look forward to it." I said, unable to keep just a hint of sarcasm out of my voice. Buffy just glared, whilst the two young ones stayed quiet.

I nodded to them, then turned and walked away. I could feel the burning gaze of the Slayer in my back. I thought of Willow, and her frightened, pale face. I thought of Xander, and how he must be feeling right now. He'd just lost his friend.

They would have nightmares, of course. They would go home thinking they would never sleep again, but exhaustion would claim them in the end. The nightmares would follow.

The poor things…

Their whole world had just been turned on its head, and could tell no one for fear of being thought insane.

The poor, poor things.

_Could have killed the Slayer. Could have ended it there._

'The Slayer is needed. You saw how skilled she was. I can't fight her off.'

_Could have let me kill her._

'I'm never letting you out. You know that.'

_Said that before…_

I didn't answer.

You just can't argue with yourself.


	7. Chapter 7: Explanations and Plan Making

The next day at school was…awkward. And quiet.

Willow and Xander looked stricken, Buffy looked grim, Cordelia was…well, Cordelia, and the teachers were asking about Jesse. Once again, no one was looking at me.

No, I take that back. Willow had managed to say hello to me, but…it was so quiet I barely heard it, and she had moved away from me too quickly for me to return the greeting. I have to say, for someone used to being alone and being shunned from society for over six hundred years, being shunned again so quickly after making my first friend in over fifty years hurt quite badly.

That hurt…it was rather a good thing, if one thought about it. It proved I wasn't entirely a monster, in spite of what Buffy and the others thought. A real monster wouldn't have thought twice about losing their friends, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

What can I say? I may be cynical but every once in a while I try to look for a silver lining.

We went through the motions, tried to act normal, and all the while I was dreading that trip to the library.

What could I tell them that wouldn't make them distrust me even more?

"Oh yes, my father was a demon-possessed corpse, but not to worry, I also take after my mother"? Or, "No, I only prey upon the innocent when I've had a terribly bad day"? Or, "I promise I won't bite you"?

What was I to do?

One option open to me was flight, of course. I could just leave them all, disappear into the world once again, and just wait another hundred years. By then, the Slayer and everyone else would be dead and I could…well, keep moving.

No. I couldn't do that.

I am a Selwyn, and I am no coward. I just…get really nervous.

All too soon, sixth period arrived. That was when we all had study hall. That was when we had to meet in the library. I had spent all day girding up my loins, as it were, but as I walked down the hall and towards the library, I felt my resolve to get all this straightened up weakening.

I shrank back in my hood and took a deep breath.

'Let's get on with it, then.' I thought, and went in to face my doom.

Giles and Buffy were already there, waiting. They were talking when I came in, but when Buffy saw me she immediately stopped and crossed her arms. Giles looked towards me, and cleared his throat as he adjusted his glasses.

I could hear his heart speed up in nervousness.

"Greetings." I murmured. "Did…did you rest well, Slayer?" I asked. Buffy shrugged.

The awkward silence that ensued was deafening. Thankfully, the other younglings came in soon afterward. They walked past me and gathered around one of the studying tables, huddling close to Buffy.

"We have a lot to talk about." Buffy said once everyone was settled. I nodded, took my hood off, and approached. I did not sit down. I had a feeling I wasn't really supposed to feel comfortable there.

"Indeed." I said. "I believe I owe all of you an explanation, and an apology." I looked pointedly at Willow for the second half of that sentence. Giles cleared his throat again and I looked at him. I gathered he would be the one conducting this interrogation.

"You…you said before that you were a…well, a half-vampire?" he said. I nodded.

"I must confess I've never encountered one of your kind before." He said. He moved towards me, slowly. He looked curious, but still cautious. I was a specimen for him to examine, but he was afraid I might bite.

I offered him my hand.

"We haven't been introduced, I don't think." I said, trying to smile at him. If I could make him think me more human than monster, maybe we could get somewhere. He looked at my hand as though he didn't know what to do with it.

"I'm Margery Selwyn, sir." I said, grasping his hand since he didn't make a move to do the same, "A pleasure to make the acquaintance of a Watcher. I've never met one of your kind either." He looked surprised, but finally returned the pressure on my hand.

"Y-Yes," he said, "I-I'm the Watcher. Uh…it-it's nice to…meet you?"

I don't think he meant for it to come out as a question, but I forgave him the hesitation since he at least made the effort to be polite. Buffy, on the other hand, was rolling her eyes.

"All right," she said, "now that we all know who each other is….for the most part, why exactly are you here?"

"Wait," Willow interrupted, "You're really a half-vampire?" she asked. I nodded, wondering what she would ask.

"So…you drink blood?" Giles asked, dropping my hand. He looked at my hand as he did so, and I could practically hear him think: "No pulse."

"Only out of necessity," I explained, "and only off of strictly nonliving resources." I added when Buffy's eyes narrowed.

"Bloodpacks?" Giles said. I nodded.

"So…how exactly are you half of a vampire?" Xander asked.

"My father was a vampire who accidentally sired me with a human female." I explained. Giles eyebrows raised in surprise. I felt the need to elaborate. "I say accidentally because…he was going to kill her directly afterward. He was actually close to accomplishing this task when he was interrupted."

I paused.

"Both my parents regretted he didn't finish the job." I finished.

"Your mom didn't want you?" Willow asked quietly. I shrugged. It wasn't a subject I liked to talk about, for obvious reasons.

"Would you want something a monster had put inside you?" I asked her. It came out harsher than I had meant it to. She blanched and looked down at her hands. I immediately softened my tone.

"No," I said, "she didn't want me. But she tolerated my existence…for a time."

"When exactly did this happen?" Giles asked. This was what he had wanted to ask all along, I could feel.

"If you're wondering my age, sir, I was born in 1360."

That got a reaction.

The Watcher's eyes grew wide, Xander's jaw dropped open, Willow looked up and actually looked excited, and even Buffy looked shocked. What can I say? I look good for my…extreme old age.

"You were what, now?" Xander said.

"You must have seen so much history!" Willow exclaimed. Buffy looked suspicious and came towards me, while Giles adjusted his glasses again, at a loss. I couldn't tell if he was as excited as Willow, or even more nervous.

"I've seen my fair share, certainly." I said, smiling at Willow.

"How have you survived this long?" Giles asked, "Surely someone would have noticed your…lack of changing? Did no Slayer ever notice you? No Watcher?" I shrugged again and shook my head. I offered him a confiding smile.

"I tend to stay out of trouble, and nearly always on the move." I explained, "I don't keep company with monsters. I barely keep company with humans, for that matter." I leaned forward slightly, and he didn't recoil. That was good.

"I mostly keep company with books. They're far easier to get along with." I added.

He finally smiled back at me, and actually chuckled.

He had a good laugh. It was deep but pleasant sounding. I joined in, and I felt some of the ice in the room melt a little.

"So," Buffy broke in, "you're not here to…do anything?"

I looked at her and shook my head seriously.

"I have not come to feast upon the blood of the innocents, no." I said. Giles laughed again, as did Willow, and even Xander let out a snort.

Good, this was very good. Much better than I had hoped for. Buffy still looked suspicious, but her muscles were gradually starting to relax. She dropped her hands to her hips and came a little closer.

"I understand completely if you don't wish to trust me," I told her, well, all of them, really, "but I promise I'm only here to help. I told you before I felt drawn to this place, but as to why…even I don't know that. When I found out you were the Slayer, I assumed that was why I was pulled here, but now I'm not so sure."

I frowned and turned back to Giles.

"Last night…I've never seen that many vampires in one place. Especially not organized like that." I dropped my voice a little.

"Something is happening here." I told him.

"Yeah, can we get some of that cleared up?" Xander asked. "I mean…I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around this whole vampire, Slayer, Watcher, half-vampire, demon thing going on." They looked at me, but I was watching Giles.

"I believe I'll leave the explanation to you, sir." I said, "If you don't mind, that is?"

"No," he said, "I don't mind, Miss."

"You may call me Margery, if it please you." I told him with a friendly smile. He returned it, bless him.

"It does. And you may call me…well, just Giles I suppose, if you want?"

Giles took a step back and turned back to the young people, leaving me to find a seat amongst them. Willow immediately drew back a chair for me. It was right next to hers, bless the dear little heart. She'd already forgiven me.

"I have so many questions," she whispered to me, "but they can wait for now."

Of course, she wanted to know what I'd seen.

A thousand sights and tales leapt into mind. Not many of them were pleasant, unfortunately.

"This world is older than you know." Giles began. He sounded more official now, and his voice sounded even richer than it had before, which I hadn't thought possible. What? I was not blind to the fact the man had the voice of an angel….a very British angel, perhaps….

"Contrary to popular mythology," he continued, "it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons, demons walked the earth. They made it their home…their Hell. But they entirely lost their purchase on this reality.

"The way was made for mortal animals. For man. All that remains of the Old Ones, are vestiges, certain magics, certain creatures."

"Like you?" Xander asked me. I winced and licked my lips.

"I'm not a demon." I said.

_Speak for yourself._

"My father was one, certainly, but he did not pass on the entity to me. Instead, I only got a portion of its power. Its Essence. Not powerful enough to control the body in which I was born. I have a soul. The Old Ones do not." I answered. Giles nodded.

"Just so." He said.

"Okay," Xander said, getting up and beginning to pace, "but, see, this is where I have a problem. Because we're talking about _vampires_. And…" he gestured at me, "half-vampires. We're having a talk…with vampires in it."

"But isn't that what we saw last night?" Willow asked.

"No," Buffy said, though we could all tell she was being facetious, "no, those weren't vampires. Those were guys in dire need of a facial. Or maybe they had rabies? It could have been rabies! And that guy turning to dust? Just a trick of light."

I couldn't help but laugh, and I saw Giles smirk in reply.

Yes, I felt sorry for Xander, and yes, I could understand how he would want to try and deny what he'd seen, but…the evidence supporting what he'd seen was literally right in front of him. Namely: me.

"That's exactly what I said the first time I saw a vampire." Buffy told him, growing serious again. "Well," she added, "after I was done with the screaming part."

"Thank you, by the way," I said quietly, turning to Willow. She looked confused.

"For what?"

"For not screaming when…when you saw…THAT part of me."

She blushed.

"I'll admit, it's not because I didn't want to." She murmured. I chuckled to let her know I wasn't upset, and she smiled shyly at me.

I needed to find out exactly what happened when I did that. I never quite know for sure what changes beyond the fangs.

"So vampires are demons?" Xander asked.

"The books tell the last demon to leave the realm fed off of a human," Giles explained, "mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the earth; feeding, killing some and mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out. And for the Old Ones to return."

There was a pause.

"They're nothing if not ambitious," I finally broke in, trying to…what's it called… 'lighten the mood', I think. "And patient." I added. "

"Then there's the Slayer." Giles continued, looking at Buffy.

"Which is what, exactly." Xander asked. I smirked and looked at him.

"The job description is sort of in the title, Xander." I couldn't help but say. I knew he probably wanted specifics, but…Slayer is rather self-explanatory, isn't it?

"As long as there have been vampires, there have been Slayers," Giles explained, "One girl in all the world, chosen to-"

"He _loves _doing this part." Buffy interrupted with a roll of her eyes. Giles huffed at her in impatience. She didn't seem fazed by it. Poor Giles, I could tell Buffy's attitude about the whole vampire/Slayer thing was frustrating him.

"All right," Giles said, "the Slayer hunts vampires, Buffy is a Slayer, don't tell anyone."

That was simple.

"And…I'd rather no one really knew about my…condition, either." I added. "It's rather inconvenient to live peacefully when people are either trying to burn you, stake you, or put you in an insane asylum."

Giles gave a nod.

"Well, I think that's all the information we need." He said.

"Except for one thing," Xander said, "how do you kill them?"

"You don't." Buffy answered. "I do." She looked at me again when she said that. This was getting rather annoying.

"How many times do I have to say I'm _half_-vampire?" I asked her.

"Until I know for sure you're not just playing tame so we'll put our guard down." Buffy answered back.

"And when will that be, young miss?" I asked, standing up. "Are you going to stake me if Willow or Xander gets a paper-cut, just as a preemptive strike?"

Giles stood up then as well.

"Ladies," he said, "please, let's not argue anymore." He turned to Buffy, "I'll conduct a more thorough interview, _alone_, and let you know my findings. We can proceed from there. We're not going to get anything done constantly badgering and threatening amongst ourselves."

"Well spoken, sir." I said, watching Buffy. She didn't look happy, but she gave a shrug of consent anyway.

At least with the Watcher I had a better chance of actually having a decent conversation.

Xander wasn't done talking about fighting, however.

"But Jesse-" he started, but Buffy interrupted again.

"Is my responsibility." She finished. "I'm the one who let him get taken by putting him in a risky situation."

I felt the guilt churn in my gut again and I looked down at the table.

"No, Slayer, it was my fault." I said quietly. "I should have tried harder. He was wounded, I should have kept a closer eye on him during the fray. I didn't, and that's on me. Not you. You turned responsibility over to me."

"But it was still my call." Buffy insisted.

"If you hadn't shown up, they would have taken us too." Willow told her. I nodded in agreement. The blame was mine. I didn't much care for the Slayer, but I won't shirk the blame if I'm at fault. And I was.

"This big guy, Luke," Buffy said, "he talked about an offering to the Master."

Master. That's never a good thing.

"Now, I don't know what, or who," Buffy continued, "but if they weren't just feeding then Jesse may still be alive." She had a point there. Maybe I had a chance at redeeming myself? Find Jesse before he did get turned into a meal, and thus fulfill my obligation.

"I'm gonna find him." Buffy insisted.

"I'll assist." I said. She narrowed her eyes at me. "It's the least I can do." I said, I wasn't trying to argue, in fact I tried to sound as yielding as possible. "Let me make amends."

"Uh, this may be the dumb question," Willow broke in, "but shouldn't we call the police?"

Giles spoke for me when he answered: "And they'd believe us, of course?"

"Well, we wouldn't have to say vampires," Willow continued, "we could just say that there's a…bad man?"

"They couldn't handle it even if they did show up," Buffy said, "they'd only come with guns."

"And guns, while painful, aren't permanently effect against vampires." I said. I could see the question on Willow's face, so I answered it before she could even ask it.

"They work just fine on me." I said. I smirked at Buffy. "So if you want to kill me, you won't have to be so theatrical. You can do it any way you please."

"But you've no idea where they took Jesse?" Giles asked, interrupting us before we got started all over again.

"I looked around but soon as they got clear of the graveyard they could have just…voom!" Buffy said. Xander stared at her.

"They can fly?" he demanded.

"They can drive." Buffy answered.

"Oh." Xander said. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"If they get on an airplane they could fly, Xander." I told him.

"I don't remember hearing a car." Willow said. That's right, I hadn't even heard an engine rev up afterward. And when I had left the graveyard I hadn't seen a vehicle anywhere either.

"Let's take an enormous, intuitive leap, shall we," Giles was saying, "and let's say they went underground."

"Vampires really jam on sewer systems," Buffy explained, "they can get anywhere in the entire town without catching any rays."

'Not to mention there's snacks along the way.' I thought, remembering the rats.

I've used my fair share of sewers, as well.

"But, I didn't see any access around there." Buffy said.

"Well there's an electrical tunnel that runs under the whole town." Xander said. I blinked at him.

"The entire town?" I repeated. He nodded.

'Oh dear.'

"If we can get a diagnostic of the tunnel system, it might indicate a meeting place…" Giles said, "I suppose we could go to the building commission?"

"We _so_don't have time." Buffy said.

"And won't that be a tad suspicious?" I asked. "I don't think simply saying, 'We have to do a report on sewer systems' will quite convince them."

"Uh, guys?" Willow said shyly. We all looked at her. "There may be another way."

As I looked at her face, there was a spark in her eye I hadn't seen before.

"Why, Willow," I said, feeling a slow smile spread across my face, "I do believe I see mischief lurking behind your eyes. What tricks have you got hidden up your sleeve?" She grinned at me, at all of us, and practically bounced up from the table.

"Get me to a computer and I'll show you!" she announced.

That's one thing about humans I never grow weary of: you're always full of surprises and talents.


	8. Chapter 8: The Rescue Begins

I must confess, I actually love computers. I know, that's probably a surprise, but I find technology fascinating. Probably because I remember when indoor plumbing was thought wildly lavish and advanced.

I know my way around a computer, but Willow surpasses me by far.

Within minutes of us gathering around her and the computer, she had the blueprints of the electrical tunnel pulled up. Don't ask me how she did it because I honestly don't know. She clearly knew what she was doing, and that was good enough for me.

"There it is." Buffy said, pointing out a particular point on the blueprints. I had to take her word for it because to me it appeared to be a grouping of lines.

Cartography is not my forte.

"That runs under the graveyard." Willow said.

"I don't see any access." Xander said, squinting at the lines.

"So…" Giles said, and I caught a suspicious look in his eyes, "all the city plans are just…open to the public?"

Oh. Right. Giles hadn't realized exactly what it was Willow was doing. I'm not surprised. I had seen him looking bewildered as Willow had been clicking and typing, so I doubted very much he ever got around computers much.

"Uh," Willow stammered, avoiding his gaze, "well, uh, in a way."

"If one knows where to look, correct?" I added, smirking at Willow.

"R-Right." She said. "I…sort of…stumbled onto them. When I…accidentally decrypted the city council's security system." I stifled the laugh that rose to my lips and tried to hide my smile, but saw that such a precaution was unnecessary since Giles was smiling too. Good. He wasn't upset.

"Someone's been naughty." Xander teased.

"Not naughty," I replied, "simply…curious. And resourceful." I winked at Willow. "That's a perfect combination."

Buffy didn't seem as pleased as the rest of us, however. She huffed away from the table, pouting.

"There's nothing here, this is useless!" she declared.

"I think you're being a bit hard on yourself." Giles said. Buffy whirled on him. Call me protective, but I stepped between the two of them. I didn't think the Slayer would actually attack him, but…better to be safe than sorry.

"You're the one who told me I wasn't prepared enough!" she reminded him. She looked hurt, the poor dear. "Understatement." She continued, "I thought I was on top of everything and that monster Luke came out of nowhere and-" she broke off and I saw something click in her mind.

"What?" Xander asked.

"What have you remembered, Slayer?" I asked her quietly.

"He didn't come out of nowhere." She said. "He came from behind me."

"What was behind you?" I asked.

"I was facing the entrance," Buffy continued, the wheels in her mind turning faster and faster, "he came from behind me and he didn't follow me out."

"The mausoleum. The entrance is there." I said, the light dawning on me, as it were. It was so perfectly cliché I hadn't even considered the possibility that the vampires would use a gravesite for an entrance. But it made sense, giving it thought now.

Buffy nodded at me.

"The girl must've doubled back with Jesse after I got out! God! I am so mentally challenged!"

"So what's the plan?" Xander asked, striding forward eagerly, "We saddle up, right?"

I winced at the thought. Xander was being a trifle foolhardy about this whole thing. He hadn't exactly been useful last night. I wasn't blaming him, after all his whole world had just been reshaped in a matter of hours, but he had balked too much.

Why he thought he could handle an all-out battle was beyond me.

I watched the Slayer, hoping she would think the same. Evidently she did.

"There's no _we_, okay?" she said. She said it gently, but firmly. "I'm the Slayer, and you're not."

Xander snorted. "I knew you'd throw that back in my face."

"Xander, this is really dangerous!" Buffy argued.

"I'm inadequate." Xander said with a shrug. "That's fine. I'm less than a man."

I rolled my eyes.

"Right now you're certainly behaving like less than a man." I snapped at him. He stared at me in surprise. "You're acting like a child just because someone has told him he can't have something." I stepped closer to him, "You're still new to this world, Xander," I told him, "You know it's dangerous now, but you've only seen a glimpse of how dangerous it can get. You're not a fighter, and that's not an insult. If you came along, it would only be an impediment because you would be a source of concern. We would be worried about watching to make sure you were safe the whole time. We can't afford to have distractions right now."

Xander opened his mouth, then closed it. He looked angry, but I hoped he saw the logic of what I was saying.

Willow broke the silence that followed.

"Buffy," she said, "I'm not anxious to go into a dark place full of monsters, but I do want to help."

'Oh not you too.' I thought with an inward groan. The last thing I needed was two more souls on my conscience. If Giles volunteered to come along next I was going to launch into a tirade.

Children can be so…childish.

"I need to." Willow continued.

Thank the heavens for Giles.

"Then help me." He said, his words resounding like music to me. If he could keep Willow with him, I would be far, _far_ happier about the situation.

"I've been researching this Harvest affair," Giles continued, leaning over Willow and staring at the monitor, "it seems to be some preordained massacre: rivers of blood, hell on earth. Quite charmless."

"That's vampires for you." I murmured.

"Indeed." Giles responded, "However, I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but perhaps you can wrest some details from that Dread Machine." He motioned to the computer. Bless that man a thousand times over.

Everyone gaped at him for a moment, and I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. Giles looked around, a bit abashed.

"That was…uh…very British, wasn't it?" he asked.

"Only a little." I laughed.

"Welcome to the New World." Buffy joked.

"I want you to go on the Internet." Giles explained. Willow smiled happily.

"Oh, sure!" she said, "I can do that."

She started typing away and Buffy turned away.

"Then I'm out of here." She said, I moved to follow her. She cast me a withering glance but I waved it aside and then crossed my arms.

"I'm coming along and there's no argument." I told her. "I think we need a little time to bond, don't you? A nice bloody battle is just the thing."

She frowned, but, much to my surprise. Didn't refuse me.

"Do I have to tell the both of you to be careful?" Giles asked. He gave me a small smile. "We still have an interview to do." He reminded me.

Buffy just smiled at him. She looked grateful. Then she looked at me.

"Fine." She said. "But we're not going to leave together. We go separately and meet up at the mausoleum. "

I nodded. I would follow her lead if she would play the leader.

"I'll meet you there." I answered, pulling my hood up. I looked at Giles and gave a small bow.

"Thank you for your hospitality, sir." I told him, to Willow I said; "Good luck with the research." And finally, to a very sullen Xander I said, "Your time will come, lad." He didn't look appeased by that, but at least he nodded.

"If you get there before me," Buffy said as we exited the library, "wait fifteen minutes. If I'm not there by then, come back to the school. It probably means I've been unavoidably detained."

"Fine by me." I answered. "Good luck to you Slayer, may fortune smile on our noble endeavor." She blinked at me and nodded very slowly.

"Y-Yeah." She drew the word out, "Ditto."


	9. Chapter 9: Meeting Angel

I didn't have to wait the full fifteen minutes, but I was starting to wonder if the Slayer was coming after all when she finally stepped into the dim lighting in the mausoleum. I lifted an eyebrow at her as she entered, and stood up from my seat on the steps.

"Any problems, Slayer?" I asked her.

"Nothing I can't handle." She answered. "And…you can call me Buffy."

I nodded, then looked around at the dusty, crumbling interior. Even in very dim daylight, it felt so different from how it had felt last night. I frowned, remembering Willow's frightened face when I had whirled on her.

"Have you taken a look around yet?" Buffy asked.

"No. I thought I should wait for you." I answered. She nodded in appreciation. "Any ideas on where to begin our search?" She gave a shrug and started circling around the crypt. I followed her lead, and started in the opposite direction.

"Just look for whatever looks weird." She answered. She started to move towards the opposite end of the crypt, while I started an investigation of the statues. As I listened to her boots scuff in the dirt, a sudden chill ran up my spine, and every sense snapped to attention as I spun around.

"We're not alone." I said.

A shadow to my left moved into view, and I growled on instinct.

"Stop right there." I ordered. The shadow stopped moving, and it turned towards me, just as the scent of vampire wafted towards me. Now I was even more alert. I felt my muscles tense as I stepped towards him and Buffy.

"Step back." I snapped.

"It's cool, Marge." Buffy said, turning around slowly, looking not in the least bit perturbed.

"So," she addressed the vampire, "I don't suppose you've got a key on you?" she motioned to the locked doors at her side.

Then I noticed the vampire wasn't showing his true face. In fact…he wasn't acting much like a vampire at all…and the scent…it was off, somehow. Off in a way I didn't like. And Buffy was acting like she knew him.

Very confusing.

"They really don't like me dropping in." the vampire answered with a chuckle. He looked at me and his eyes narrowed as he sniffed in my direction. A strange, concerned look passed over his face and he frowned deeply at me. It occurred to me I was giving him the same, distrustful look.

Somehow…I didn't think he was here to hurt Buffy.

There was something very strange going on with this vampire. I tried to get a closer look at his eyes, but he turned back to Buffy.

"Why not?" she asked, making no effort to explain my presence to him. Why should she?

"They really don't like me." The vampire answered with a shrug and a half smile.

"How could that possibly be?" Buffy said sarcastically.

"I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later," the vampire said, "actually, I figured it was going to be a little sooner."

He seemed to know what we were up to as well. Now I was _really _suspicious.

"I thought I told you to take a step back, young man." I said, coming forward. I didn't like him being this close to Buffy. He was acting too knowledgeable and mysterious for my taste. Not to mention he kept trying to bait the Slayer.

He finally took a step back, raising his hands defensively as I stood between him and Buffy.

"Sorry you had to wait." Buffy said. "Okay, look, if you're going to be popping up with this whole cryptic wise-man act on a regular basis…can you at least tell me your name?"

So they had met before.

"You know him?" I asked Buffy, keeping my eyes on the vampire.

"I saw him outside the Bronze." She replied. "I don't know him."

"Interesting." I murmured, lifting my chin a little. I saw look of warning in his eyes. He hadn't told Buffy he was a vampire. She didn't know what he was, anymore than she had known what I was. A part of me wanted to tell her, but…a part of me wanted to know what this man was up to. If I told Buffy, I wouldn't find out.

I know, I know, you're probably yelling at me right now but…being curious is a new sensation for me. I've been around knowledge for centuries, after all, not knowing something is novel for me.

Let an old woman have her petty amusements. Now that I knew what he was, I could tell Buffy anytime, or take care of the problem myself.

"Angel." The vampire replied.

"Angel." Buffy repeated.

I frowned. That name…it was familiar.

"Pretty name." Buffy said, then turned back towards the door.

The vampire, Angel, looked at me.

"Then who are you?" he asked.

"Not someone to be played with." I answered, crossing my arms. I looked pointedly at him when I said it, and he seemed to understand.

"However," I continued, "I do not wish to seem inhospitable, so…you may call me Margery."

He gave a nod of greeting.

"A pleasure." He said.

"We'll see." I answered.

He saw Buffy reach for the chain and he stepped toward her. I followed his movement, staying between him and the Slayer. The closer he got, the less I trusted him.

"Don't go down there." He said. He said it in an offhand manner, but his eyes were full of warning.

"Deal with our going." Buffy answered.

"You shouldn't be putting yourselves at risk, tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks."

"Then you know this Master?" I asked.

"Know of him." Angel answered, keeping his eyes on Buffy.

"Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suck-fest," Buffy answered, "why don't you stop it?"

'Because he might just want to partake.' I thought.

_So would I_.

'Silence.'

Angel chuckled.

"Because I'm afraid." He said. Well…that was honest.

Buffy stared at him for a beat, then turned and kicked the doors, breaking the chain like a string. I have to admit, even I was impressed by that.

She turned back to Angel expectantly.

"They'll be expecting you." He said, trying to dissuade her. I smiled and took a step towards the doors, so that I stood alongside Buffy.

"Will they be expecting me?" I asked. His smile flickered and faded. They wouldn't be. Good. At least we might have an element of surprise on our side.

"We've got a friend down there." Buffy explained.

'Please, stop telling him all of our plans.' I thought, my jaw clenching. This vampire already knew far too much for his own good.

"Or, at least a potential friend." She added. "Do you know what it's like to have a friend?"

To my surprise, the vampire didn't respond to that one. In fact…he actually looked….well, saddened. His gaze dropped to the floor and he shifted uncomfortably. Even if he was play-acting, vampires don't play-act that well.

Oh he was making my curiosity burn, curse him.

"That…wasn't supposed to be a stumper." Buffy said, trying to lighten the suddenly somber mood. He lifted his gaze back up to her, and held it there for a beat, before looking at me as well. He swallowed, and then motioned to the darkened entrance.

"When you hit the tunnels, head east towards the school." He said. "That's where you're likely to find them."

"How do you know all this?" I queried. He just shrugged.

"Going to wish us luck?" Buffy prompted him. He smirked at us, still staring.

I tugged at Buffy's arm and stepped into darkness. My eyes instantly adjust to the lack of light and I wrinkled my nose in disdain.

Definitely a vampire route. She hesitated, then followed me, and we entered the darkness.

Just before we turned the first corner, I heard a whisper come after us: "Good luck."


	10. Chapter 10: The Rescue or Lack Thereof

The Slayer and I didn't say anything as we descended the stairs to the access tunnel. Not even to discuss Angel. It was clear to me she felt…something for him. Her heart was beating faster than it had before, and I didn't think it was because of the potential danger we were walking into.

The new situation with Angel bothered me. For a vampire, there was something off about him, but I could not come up with a feasible resolution. There was something in his eyes which I hadn't seen in a vampire's eyes before.

And that name…Angel…why on earth was it stirring some dusty thing in my memory?

As we reached the end of the stairs and started down the tunnel, all thoughts of Angel were pushed aside when I caught a whiff of…

"Xander." I groaned, stopping short.

The Slayer turned to be with wide eyes.

"What?" she demanded.

"Xander," I continued, addressing the darkness stretching out behind us, "come out at once. I can smell you perfectly clearly."

There was a pause, then a sigh, and then Xander shuffled into view. He looked a bit sheepish, but proud as well. Proud and determined. I crossed my arms, and I heard Buffy echo my earlier groan as she rubbed her forehead in frustration.

"Xander, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"Something stupid." He answered promptly, "I followed you."

"Even after we all said not to?" I said. I frowned at him and clicked my tongue. "You've been misbehaving, Xander."

"I couldn't just sit at home and do nothing." Xander argued. He knew he would get nowhere with me so he turned his gaze to Buffy. Somehow, all boys are capable of doing something with their eyes that makes them looks so pathetic and endearing. I believe you call it a 'puppy-dog eyed' look, or something similar to that.

I must admit it's fairly accurate, and it was what Xander was doing.

To my dismay, Buffy seemed to yield.

"I understand." She said, "Now go away." She added. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"No." Xander snapped.

"Xander, you're gonna have to."

"Look, Jesse's my bud. If I can help him out then that's what I gotta do."

There was a long moment of silence, and I knew the Slayer was backing down. I would have put my foot down and insist he take his leave, but with Angel lurking up above us, doing…whatever it was he was doing, and vampires in the crypts…I admit I didn't want him going off alone. Odds were he'd give us a head start and then come after us later, and end up getting killed.

Not to mention trying to usurp the Slayer's position of authority was definitely not the way to win her affection.

The Slayer and I looked at each other.

"Fine." We both said, then I turned back to Xander: "But from here on, you must obey. If we tell you to fight, fight, if we tell you to run, there's to be no arguing, you simply run. Understand?"

He nodded, a happy grin spreading across his face.

We turned and started down the tunnel again, this time with Xander right behind us.

"Besides," he said as we started down, "it's this or…chem class."

The tunnel evidently made Xander nervous. He wouldn't stop prattling the whole time. I let him, since he prattled quietly, but I have to admit more than a few times the Essence stirred inside with anger and annoyance.

_Rip that throat out. I need silence._

'You know I won't.'

_Doesn't mean you don't want to._

'Be quiet.'

_We're both hungry…we know how upset we can get when we're hungry…just a quick nip?_

'No! Now be quiet. You're distracting me even more than he is.'

There was finally a blessed pause in Xander's sudden attack of verbiage, but it didn't last long.

"Okay," he said, "so, crosses, garlic, stick to the heart." He was talking mostly to himself I realized. Buffy answered anyway.

"That'll get it done." Buffy said.

"Sunlight, too." I added. "Not that there'll be an opportunity to use it down here, however."

"Cool." Xander said, "Of course I don't actually have any of those things."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Well, I'm so glad you thought this venture out before deciding on such a reckless course of action. Otherwise one might say you were being foolhardy."

I felt Xander glare at my back.

Buffy sighed and handed him something. I glanced back and saw it was a cross.

The Essence growled and recoiled.

_Stings._ It hissed.

I smirked.

'Getting nervous?'

_It stings you too, wench._

"Well, the part of my brain that would tell me to bring that stuff is still busy telling me not to come down here." Xander explained. "I have this though."

A sudden stab of light pierced through the darkness, and even though it was behind me, my eyes still felt seared and I gave a gasp of pain.

"Turn that off!" Buffy and I both snapped at him. He fumbled with his torch before switching it off. I had to stop to let my eyes readjust from the attack of light. Like I said, having advanced eyesight also means having rather sensitive eyesight.

"Sorry!" Xander whispered. "So what else?" he asked.

"What else what?" Buffy asked as we started moving again.

"For vampire slayage?" he answered.

"I'm not sure that's a word." I muttered.

"Oh…fire, beheading, sunlight, holy water, the usual." Buffy answered.

"You've done some beheading in your time?" Xander asked. I could hear him turning green again.

"Oh yeah," the Slayer answered, "there was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left-tackle for varsity-well, at least he used to before he was a vampire. Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck and all I had was this little exact-o knife-"

Xander made a shuddering, weak laughing sound.

The poor lad. As annoying as he could be, he was so new to this. It was easy to forget. I made a note to not tell my story about my time in France during the revolution. Now _that_ was beheading. I hadn't stayed long. The smell of blood permanently in the air had all but sent me into a frenzy.

A few months in Serbia will cure that, though, as it turns out.

"You're…not loving this story." Buffy guessed.

"No actually, I find it oddly comforting." Xander answered.

'As long as he's not the one having to do it.' I thought.

_Because he's weak._

'Because he's young.'

_Same thing._

'We were young once…were we weak?'

_We were different._

'As Mother reminded us every day.'

Buffy took Xander's answer in silence, and then turned and started back down the tunnel. We had only gone a few steps when I felt something bump into my hand, sending a hot flash up my hand and to my shoulder. I jerked my hand away and whirled around.

Xander lifted the cross defensively.

"Just seeing if it worked!" he said.

"You…attacked me with that?" I demanded.

"I didn't think it would kill you…I was just…experimenting."

I shook my hand, shaking out the burning sensation.

"Well. It works. Satisfied?"

Xander nodded, swallowing.

Fantastic. Now I had gone from being a monster to being something to experiment upon. At least it showed they were becoming less afraid of me…I suppose. I just wish Xander had found a less painful way to show it.

We hadn't traveled much further one when the familiar stench drifted to me.

"We're close." I said, and to my surprise, the Slayer said it at the same time. Xander looked sharply at us, and I heard his heart skitter.

"How can you tell?" he asked.

"No more rats." The Slayer answered. Huh. I hadn't even noticed the rats, but she was right. The air felt more pensive as we continued, and then I spotted a body lying in the way and stopped short. I pointed.

"There." I said. The smell of decay was stronger now, but there was a familiar scent mixed with it, coming from the figure on the floor. Before Xander had a chance to turn on his torch, I had it placed in my mind.

"Jesse." I said. And so it was.

He was smeared with dirt, and looked paler than before, and he was lying face down on the floor. Xander yelled his name and rushed to him, as did Buffy. I hung back, something not quite feeling right about this.

_Danger_

The Essence was hissing and I felt myself tensing up.

Jesse bounded to his feet when they got close, raising a pipe over his head.

"Jesse!" Xander barked, and Jesse hesitated.

"Xander." He said in relief, embracing his friend. Something about him being that close to Xander made me step forward.

"Be careful." I said. Buffy turned to me, frowning.

"What's wrong?" she asked. I stared hard at Jesse.

"Not sure." I answered.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked, ignoring me.

"I am not okay on an epic scale." Jesse said, "We've gotta get out of here."

"It's cool, Buffy's a superhero and Margery's a half-vamp." Xander said cheerfully. Jesse locked eyes with me, a confused look in his eyes…and something else lurking behind them…something familiar.

_Kin_

'What?'

Buffy was kneeling in front of Jesse, looking at a chain around his ankle.

"Hold on." She said. She broke it with the pipe Jesse had been using, and it felt off with a loud _clank_.

'What kin?'

_In his eyes_

Then it hit me.

"Think anyone heard that?" Xander asked.

"Xander," I said, pulling Buffy to her feet and pulling Xander away from Jesse, "come away."

"What?" He asked. Jesse's eyes hardened and his mouth twitched.

"He's changed." I said. I realized what it was that had bothered me so much about him now.

"No heartbeat." I continued. Buffy gaped, Xander's mouth dropped open and he looked at Jesse, hoping to hear a rebuttal, but Jesse's face contorted and changed. A shadow moved out of the corner of my eye, and I realized this had been a trap all along.

"Run!" The Slayer shouted, seeing the shadow at the same time. She darted past me as I grabbed Xander by the wrist and a jerked him along with me as we all turned and fled in the opposite direction.

We had to alter course a few times, thanks to vampires being everywhere, including right behind us. We became completely disoriented, but eventually the Slayer spotted a room off to the side of the tunnel and darted into it.

I followed her lead, hurling Xander in the room ahead of me.

"Help me!" Buffy shouted. She was wrestling with the heavy iron door, so I grabbed hold of it, and together we slammed it shut just as Jesse lunged for us with a growl. I heard him yelp in pain as he connected with the metal door, and we leaned against it even after Buffy locked it.

"Oh man," Xander said, pacing back and forth, "Oh man, oh man. Jesse…Jesse's-"

"Gone." I said with a grunt as a body slammed into the door again.

"Isn't there…I don't know, a cure or something?" he asked. Buffy and I both shook our heads.

"Xander, you can't think of him as Jesse now." I told him, "He's not there anymore. Jesse's dead. There's a demon in his body, nothing more. He's not your friend."

"We need to get out of here." Buffy said.

"There is no 'out of here'." Xander answered.

I looked around wildly, feeling like a trapped animal.

"Up there!" Xander shouted, spotting the vent in the ceiling at the same time as I did.

"Help me with it!" Buffy shouted, springing up to the vent, I followed suit and we each grabbed hold of the vent and yanked as hard as we could. The vent groaned in protest, then finally yielded and fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

The door started shrieking as the metal began to bend. The vampires were breaking through.

"Go!" Buffy shouted. I offered a hand to Xander, he grabbed it and I all but threw him up the vent. Buffy shoved me up next, and Xander and I pulled Buffy up after us.

We ended up in an air vent, and began crawling as fast as we could. The crash of the door below us and the snarls that closed in on our heels let us know our pursuers were right behind us. Xander, the one in front, gave a shout when he came upon a ladder.

"Go!" I yelled at him. We couldn't fight in such close quarters. Our only hope was up that ladder.

Xander zipped up the ladder in no time at all and pushed open the hatch. I winced and closed my eyes as sunlight hit me full in the face. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but one I could handle. I grasped the ladder and clamored up, with Buffy right behind me.

As soon as I hit outside, I yanked my hood up, then reached down and pulled Buffy out with one arm. Just before she was in the clear, a hand reached up and grabbed her ankle. She let out a cry of surprise and I wrapped a free arm around her waist when I felt the force of the pull.

Xander slammed his foot into the hand, loosening the grip, but what really did the trick was when sunlight lit on the vampire's flesh.

A crackling sound filled the air, and the scent of charred flesh filled the air as the vampire growled in pain and pulled his hand away. We both fell back, with the Slayer landing on top of me, while Xander hurriedly kicked the manhole cover back in place.

We lay there, the Slayer panting while I struggled to my feet. Xander was panting too, and trembling ever so slightly. I looked around at us, covered in dust and dirt…and without Jesse. I sighed and slid my hands into my pockets, protecting them from the sun.

"Well…" I said, "that did not go as planned."

Xander shook his head.

"No it didn't." he answered, then swallowed. "Jesse…I just can't believe it."

I swallowed as well and stepped towards him. I pulled hand back out and put it on his shoulder.

"Fret not." I told him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. He looked up at me from beneath his black bangs, his eyes sad and…horribly empty.

"We will take our vengeance." I assured him. "And you will have yours."


	11. Chapter 11: The Harvest Explained

The entire journey back to the school, I dreaded having to tell Willow about our failure. I dreaded even thinking about Jesse. I dreaded thinking about my failure. I couldn't stop thinking about how bloody _young_ that boy was. Or…had been.

I knew how this was going to end, of course. That's why I didn't like thinking about it.

Xander's head hung down and his shoulders slumped as he walked. A completely dejected figure. Buffy marched with her head up, as usual, looking for a fight, though I could detect a disappointment in her eyes as well.

When we went through the library doors, Willow looked up from her position at the study table. She smiled at us. It was such a simple, hopeful gesture it wrenched my gut and I had to look away. I think she noticed because when she spoke the smile had gone from her voice.

"Did you find Jesse?" she asked.

There was a short, but heavy pause.

"Yeah." Xander said shortly. His voice choked on the monosyllable.

"Was he dead?" She asked. I lifted my head then and looked her in the eye, as hard as it was.

"Unfortunately, it's worse." I answered. She frowned in confusion and looked at Buffy. Buffy glanced at me, then went and sat down across from Willow.

"I'm sorry, Willow." Buffy said, "We were too late. And they were waiting for us."

Willow just looked even more confused, the poor dear heart.

"He's gone." I said. "Jesse's gone and a demon is in his place."

"Oh." Willow whispered. She went pale, curled her little hands into fists, took a breath, and composed herself. She's stronger than she looks, that little one.

"Well, at least you guys are okay." She said with a soft smile.

Suddenly a huge commotion occurred off to the side and made us all jump. Xander had kicked a recycling bin…rather hard. His anger partially spent, he turned away and looked at us. Looked at me, and I could see the anger there…that thirst for revenge. I know it too well.

"I don't like vampires." He said. He wasn't saying it to me, I realized. He was just saying it to say it. It was a small comfort, but I took it. He shrugged and looked at Willow. That seemed to calm him down a bit more.

"I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good." He finished.

Buffy sighed and looked up. I followed her gaze to the Watcher. I had almost forgotten he was here.

"So Giles," she began, "got anything that will make this day even worse?"

The Watcher moved around the table to an erase board that had been marked and scribbled on multiple times. He placed a sharpie down in front of it and slowly slid his hands into his pockets. He gave a sigh and then looked at us.

"How about the end of the world?" he said.

I gaped at him.

Have I mentioned that I don't have fond memories of the Hellmouth? This is why. Everything gets out of hand far too swiftly.

Exploding ducks, vampires, Harvest, end of the world.

Being 'in' on the goings on in the supernatural realm is really not at all glamorous.

"Knew I could count on you." Buffy said.

I cast a disapproving look at the back of her head and took a step towards the table, crossing my arms as I did so. I cleared my throat to get Giles' attention and tilted my head.

"Would you be so kind as to explain this impending doom?" I asked. He nodded and started to move again, closer to me and the Slayer.

"This is what we know:" he was saying as he moved, "some a hundred and sixty years ago a very old, very powerful vampire came to this shore, and not just to feed." He leaned on the table, looking pensive. I moved to keep a view on his face. I prefer to look someone in the eyes when they're speaking. Particularly when they're talking about the end of the world.

"Because this town's a mystical hoozit?" Buffy guessed.

I didn't even bother to ask what on earth a 'hoozit' was. Giles didn't seem thrilled with the word either.

"Yes." He said dismissively, he straightened up and continued: "The Spanish who settled here called it, after translation: Hellmouth. A sort of portal between this reality and the next. This vampire hoped to open it."

"And bring the demons back?" Buffy said.

I shuddered at the thought.

"End of the world." Xander said.

"But he blew it!" Willow broke in, "Or…I mean, there was an earthquake that swallowed half the town and him too."

I frowned. "How very opportune." I murmured, looking at Giles. "Miracles do not often occur at such well-timed moments. Usually it's the reverse."

"I can explain that," he said, "see, opening dimensional portals is a very tricky business. Odds are he got himself stuck. Like a cork in a bottle."

I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but like to think I can detect little variations in a person's behavior. I liked Giles. In fact I found myself liking him more every time we met, however…every person has secrets…mysteries…dark things done in the past and locked away from memory and history.

When Giles mentioned opening dimensional portals, I could have sworn I saw a glimmer in his eyes, one that showed there was a locked door somewhere in his mind that had been rattled. I keep the Essence behind such a door, or try to, anyway, so I know it when I see it.

"So this Harvest thing is to get him out?" Xander said, breaking through my musings.

"It comes once in a century," Giles explained, "on _this_ night. The Master can draw power from one of his minions when it feeds. Enough power to break free and open the portal." He moved back to the erase board, and wiped a clean place before taking up his sharpie.

"This minion," he continued, sounding every inch a professor now, "is called 'The Vessel'. And he bears this symbol."

He drew on the board. It looked like a three-pointed star.

"So I dust anyone sporting that symbol," Buffy said, "and no Harvest?"

"Simply put, yes." Giles answered.

"Is there a certain point at which the Vessel would go…harvesting?" I queried. "It hardly seems a good idea to split up and go searching all across town for someone with that mark."

Giles tilted his head and pushed up his glasses.

"Well, there are a number of possibilities-" He began, but Xander interrupted him.

"They're going to the Bronze." He said. It wasn't a question. He sounded like he knew this for certain. We all looked at him.

"Are you sure?" Willow asked.

"Come on," he said, "all those tasty young morsels all over the place? Anyway, that's where Jesse's gonna be. Trust me."

To my surprise, they then looked at me.

"He…has a valid point." I said, "Vampires are drawn to youth especially when feeding. There's…"I swallowed and looked at the floor. Mercy but this whole situation was just so…embarrassing. "There's a sort of…kick to the blood of a youth," I explained, "if the Master's looking for power after being literally underground for so long….he'll look for youth. Xander's right."

Giles threw down his sharpie and snatched up his tweed coat, already moving for the door. I followed on his heels.

"We should get there at once," he said, "the sun will be down before long."

"I've gotta make a stop." Buffy said, trotting behind us, "It won't take long."

Giles paused and looked back at her with a frown.

"What on earth for?" he asked.

"Supplies." She answered.

Images of stakes, crosses, and garlic flashed through my mind, along with the many, many times I'd been threatened with all of them. It felt strange, being the one to be on the other side of the stake for once.

Sure, I had been at the graveyard, but…when you've been hunted for so long…it's hard to be the hunter.


	12. Chapter 12: The Battle of The Bronze

"They're here." I said when we were still half a block away. The tension in the air was unmistakable, and that scent…that could only mean one thing: LOTS of vampires.

The Slayer immediately broke into a run, and the rest of us followed suit.

There was no one outside the Bronze. No bouncer, nothing. That wasn't good. They'd already begun the siege, then. And there was no telling how many they'd already killed inside. An anxious eagerness twisted in my gut as we came to a halt at the door.

Buffy tried the handle.

"It's locked." She said.

Of course it would be.

"We're too late!" Giles immediately declared. He's the sort to immediately assume the worst, unfortunately.

"I didn't know I was going to get grounded!" Buffy whined. That had been a bit of a delay, though I hadn't thought it a terribly significant one. I rolled my eyes and trotted backwards a few steps, scanning the building for a window or anything that I could climb up to.

"Couldn't the two of you break it down?" Xander asked, motioning to me.

We both shook our heads.

"No, not thing." Buffy said.

"Too thick." I explained. "We're not Clark Kent."

"You guys try the back entrance," Buffy said, "and I'll…find my own way."

"Right," Giles said, "well, come on."

"Wait!" Buffy said, remembering something. She handed her bag of supplies to Willow.

"Get the exits clear and the people out, that's _it_." She said, looking pointedly at Xander. Then, much to my astonishment, she looked at _me_ and said: "And you better make sure they're protected. I mean it. Not one scratch better be on them when this is over."

She was entrusting me with their lives. Even after my failure with Jesse.

If the moment hadn't been so full of urgency, I would have been quite moved to make an emotional speech of thanks. Since there was no time for that sort of thing, however, I simply nodded grimly.

"S-See you inside, then." Giles said. He nodded to me, and then we hastened around the building to the rear exit, leaving the Slayer to figure out her own way in.

I don't mind saying leaving Buffy in the dark did not sit well with me. I felt we should have brought her with us, but now was not the time to be arguing tactics with the Slayer.

Naturally the rear door was locked too.

"We've got to get in there before Jesse does something stupider than usual." Xander said. Something about his tone made Giles upset. He whirled on him.

"You listen to me," he snapped, "Jesse is _dead_. You have to remember that when you see him, you're not looking at your friend, you're looking at the thing that killed him."

Wise words. I could see they hurt Xander but he needed to hear them. I touched his arm so he looked at me.

"Don't try talking to him." I said, "I know it will be tempting. You'll think there's something inside that still is Jesse, but there isn't. If anything, get angry that something has invaded your friend's body and turned him into something Jesse would fear and hate.

"Remember Jesse. Remember what he would want you to do when the time comes."

There was beat of silence before Xander sighed and nodded. Giles nodded approvingly, and then I stepped up to the door and tested it.

This one was made of weaker metal than the one at the door.

"I might be able to do something about this one." I informed them. "But I may need help. Let me try first."

I grasped the handle and planted a foot just outside the doorframe to help me with leverage, and yanked as hard as I could.

I could feel the metal yielding, and it groaned loudly as I slammed the handle down, hoping to break the lock. It didn't quite make it.

"Sir," I said, looking to Giles, "I require a bit of assistance."

He nodded and came up to me.

"I'm going to pull again, and when I lean back, I need you to pull me as hard as you can. You won't hurt me, just get a good grip and pull. I'm too short to lean as far back as I need."

Giles cleared his throat and very awkwardly grabbed me around me waist. I slammed the handle down again and pulled, leaning back. Giles tightened his grip and pulled me back hard. The metal in the door shrieked, then finally yielded so suddenly it sent us both stumbling backwards.

The Watcher lost his footing so I had to grab his wrist before he fell.

"Well done, sir." I commended him, once he had righted himself.

"You as well." He said, then motioned for all of us to go in. "Now we must hurry!"

We rushed in, and I could already hear a huge commotion going on.

Fear was thick in the air, and the scent of blood and power was mingled with it.

I could feel the Essence getting excited and stirring within me. I fought to ignore the scents, but it was hard, very hard.

Without meaning too, I felt my face change and my fangs protrude on their own.

"Buffy's gotten in," I informed them, "the battle's begun. Get everyone out, _now_."

Xander ran in immediately and grabbed the first younglings he could find. I hurried after him, trying to keep my face hidden so I wouldn't further frighten the children as they fled. I slunk behind Xander and swung myself up onto the staircase to watch and make sure I would have the first blow if we were spotted.

On the stage, Buffy was fighting a large vampire with the mark of the Vessel on his forehead. She seemed to be doing rather well, so I focused on keeping my group of younglings safe.

I had to especially keep an eye on Xander. I knew he would be looking for Jesse.

Sure enough, as soon as the first group was out, he ventured further in, scanning the room for any sign for the one who had been his friend.

He was so intent on his search that he didn't even see the vampire running at him from behind.

I swung myself over the bannister and leapt over Xander's head, meeting the vampire head-on. We tumbled to the floor together, but we both got up in a flash and tore at each other again. I grabbed his upraised arms and he snarled in my face, fangs snapping and flashing inches from my face.

"Hold him!" Buffy's cry startled me, and I looked back, still struggling with the vampire.

She was holding the cymbal from the drum set like…what are those things called…a Frisbee? Yes, she was holding it like one of those and I knew what she meant to do.

I nodded to her, then turned back to the vampire. I growled at him and gave him a kick to get him off balance. He took a step back, and that was all I needed. I followed him up and waited for him to swing. He did, and I ducked under it, came up, and used the momentum to flip over his head and grab him from behind to keep him in place while I ducked down behind him.

The head actually fell on me when Buffy lopped it off, and the body dropped hard.

I straightened and nodded to the Slayer in thanks.

"Heads up." Xander quipped. I rolled my eyes at him and he shrugged sheepishly. Then the smile faded when he looked over my shoulder. I didn't have to look to know what he was seeing. He started forward but I grabbed his arm and forced him back.

"Don't stop me!" he shouted.

"Arm yourself, first!" I shouted back. He blinked at me, then nodded and rushed back to Willow, who was coming in with Giles.

"Give me a stake." He ordered. Willow obediently handed one over and Xander started back the way we had come.

I moved to follow him when suddenly two vampire swarmed towards us. I felt Willow tense beside me so I grabbed a stake and a squirt bottle of holy water. I spun, and at the same time sprayed the water at the vampires.

I caught one in the eyes and the other I got in the chest. The one in the eyes practically hit the ground in agony while the other shrieked in anger and shocked pain. I went for the one with his eyes still in operation.

He disintegrated beneath the stake and then I spun on the one still groveling on the ground.

"Mercy!" he bellowed when he saw me looming over him. "Y-You're like me! Don't do this!"

_Kin_ the Essence hissed.

'No kin of mine.'

Wordlessly, I plunged the stake into his heart. He shrieked when he died. Then there was another shriek, from Willow.

"Giles!" she screamed.

I bounded up and darted over to her in a heartbeat, and saw what she was screaming about. A vampire had Giles pinned down. It was the same one from the crypt.

"GET OFF!" I screamed, slamming into her. My voice…it wasn't mine.

_Let the fun begin!_

'We do this together or not at all.'

_Together is fine_

'Just this once.'

_We'll see_

"You." The female hissed at me in disdain.

"You." I answered.

"You're the Halfling. The incomplete."

"And you're about to be dead."

She leapt at me then, as I thought she would. I moved as though to intercept her, then hit the ground at the last minute. When she landed behind me, I swung my legs out and knocked her down. It gave Willow enough time to grab another jar of holy water out of her bag.

"Hey!" she shouted. The female looked up, and got a face full of the holy water.

She shrieked as smoke billowed from her face, and before I could make a grab for her, she was already running, screaming, from the building, leaving a trail of smoke in her wake.

"Are you all right?" I asked Giles, helping him back to his feet. He nodded, and I looked at Willow. She looked pale, but her jaw was set. Brave little lass.

"Well done, sweetling." I commended. She blushed, pleased.

"Where's Xander?" she asked suddenly. I spun around to where I had last seen him, and saw him pressed against a wall, with Jesse standing in front of him. Xander was still holding the stake, but he looked stunned. He couldn't go through with it, just as I'd feared.

"Here." I handed Giles my bottle of holy water, and sprinted for Jesse and Xander.

"Go ahead," Jesse was saying as I flew in, "put me out of my misery."

Then I saw the stake in Xander's hand. I smiled to myself, and shoved the thing that had been Jesse straight into Xander. I heard him gasp as the stake sunk in. A death gurgle came from his throat as he sagged, and then he was gone.

Xander looked stunned, but there was no time to celebrate our victory. Three more vampires were coming for us, and two more were headed towards Willow and Giles.

I stabbed one as it came for Xander.

"Fight!" I bellowed at him.

_The fool can't even fight_

'Let him be.'

The second vampire clawed at my face, and I ducked it, but got caught by a fist from the other.

The force of the blow sent me stumbling back. I grabbed Xander and practically threw him towards Willow and Giles.

"Help them!" I screamed at him. I was seeing red, I was so angry at having gotten hit.

The other vampire was following up the blow, but I caught his fist and threw him into the wall and grabbed the back of his head, slamming his head into the wall over and over again before the vampire that had struck me interrupted by grabbed the ends of my hair and pulling me back.

"Fool." He growled at me, holding me at arm's length to backhand me.

He _really _shouldn't have done that. He brought back a memory when he did that.

"Monster!" a voice shrieked in my head, "Vile, worthless, godless filth!"

The resounding smack of flesh against flesh sent a surge of hate through me.

He swung again, and this time I was ready. I grabbed his arm and twisted. The sound of a large stick breaking signaled I had broken his arm, as did the sight of bone protruding from his flesh.

He screamed and dropped me, clutching at his arm. I grabbed him by the throat as he backed away and slammed him against the wall. I was much shorter than him, but I still managed to slide him up the wall as I tightened my grip, feeling bone and cartilage snap under my hand.

The vampire kicked feebly and clawed at my face. I batted away his hand and dropped him, then gripped him by the back of the head and under the chin, and then twisted and yanked as hard as I could.

His head came off in my hands, and then he turned to dust.

I hadn't felt so powerful in a very long time. The Essence was practically screaming in joy and reveling in what we were doing.

I didn't have long to savor the victory. I had the children to protect.

Xander had done well. He'd killed one, finally, but the other had grabbed Willow as she was fumbling to pull a cross out of her bag.

It was a mistake he'd regret.

I was on him before he even knew I was coming. I threw him down to the ground and stabbed him as he stared up in surprise.

"There's more." Giles said.

_Let them come_

"Let them come."

As it turned out, it was unnecessary to fight anymore.

As more vampires started circling us, and I snatched up a cross, ignoring the hot pain that flared up through my arm, a resounding crash drew everyone's attention back towards the stage, where Buffy was fighting the Vessel.

She had just thrown a metal stand through the window, letting in the dim yellow light from outside.

The Vessel, oddly enough, covered his face in the light and yelled in pain, then seemed to realize he wasn't hurting after all and stopped, looking at the light in bewilderment. Buffy seized the opportunity, and stabbed him through his back.

"Sunrise is in nine hours, genius." She told him.

Clever girl.

I couldn't help but grin as the Vessel stumbled towards the edge of the stage and fell, turning into dust before he hit the ground.

She stood over his miniscule remains, hands on her hips, and then she slowly looked up at the vampires around us, her eyes hard and challenging.

I could feel the vampires yielding. Their leader was dead, as was several of their number, and the Slayer had turned her gaze on them. I turned back to them and advanced, raising the cross even as it seared my palm.

I snarled, and several flinched, looked at each other, and then fled.

Victory was ours.

Once the vampires were gone, there was a moment of silence, and then Buffy jumped down from the stage, and we approached.

I struggled with Essence for a moment, then retracted my fangs, and felt my face go back to normal.

"I…take it it's over?" Giles hazarded.

We looked around at the empty building, at the piles of dust all over the floor.

"Did we win?" Willow asked.

"More or less." I murmured, looking at Xander. I wondered if he'd ever get over Jesse.

"Well," Buffy said, taking her leather coat from Xander when he handed it to her, "we averted the apocalypse. Give us points for that."

"One thing's for sure," Xander said, "nothing's ever going to be the same."

I knew what he was thinking: the secret was out, vampires existed, and monsters were real. I smirked and patted him on the shoulder as we started to make our way out.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, son."


	13. Chapter 13: Ignorance is Bliss

Sure enough, the next day, everyone was back at school. They were shaken, but none the worse for wear. They talked about last night of course, but they didn't speak of vampires or demons or anything of the sort.

Instead, they spoke of incredibly ugly people, obviously on drugs, who had raided the Bronze, babbling about something they couldn't even begin to understand.

Cordelia was the worst gossiper, but as long as she spread misinformation, I was more than willing to put up with it.

The Slayer and I gave each other knowing looks when we passed by Cordelia doing exactly that. I think we were both comfortable with the thought of everyone believing a lie, or forgetting what had happened. I just wish I could do that as easily, as well.

Buffy had actually sought me out when I arrived at school that morning. At first I had thought she was going to say something about the Watcher getting attacked on my watch, though he hadn't even been scratched.

To my surprise, she gave me an approving nod.

"You did good." She said. "Better than I thought."

I was so surprised that I couldn't say anything at first, but I finally managed to stammer out a thank-you. We stared at each other for a beat, and finally I broke the silence.

"I'm sincerely sorry about Jesse." I murmured. "Believe me, the last thing I ever wanted to do was see any of you hurt. You can't know how terrible and how responsible I feel for what happened. I know I'm not something you can easily trust, and I'm not even sure you should. But believe me when I say I never came here with the intention of hurting anyone.

"I'm not asking you to forget what I am, because I know that's impossible. I simply ask that you give me a chance. I've done terrible things, I admit. I don't make excuses, but I've had centuries to make up for it, and I've done my best to stay out of everyone's way. Now that I can actually do something to help, I'd like to, if you'll just let me."

I hadn't meant to assault her with such a torrent of verbiage, but I was worried if I didn't do it then, I might lose heart and not say it at all.

The Slayer didn't say anything for a moment, but finally I saw her shoulders relax as she looked down at the ground. Then she looked up at me and gave a nod of her head.

"Okay." She said, she gave me a smirk, and then offered her hand. "Call it a truce?"

I smiled in return and shook her hand firmly.

"By all means." I agreed.

When we went walking across the courtyard, side by side, and saw Xander hurrying towards us, I think he was shocked to find us together. His eyebrows went up in surprise and he slowed, but tried to act as though this was perfectly normal behavior for us.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing from everyone else about what had happened last night.

"What were you expecting?" Buffy asked with a grin as Xander fell into step beside us.

"I don't know," he admitted, "_something_. I mean, the dead rose! We should have at least had an assembly or something."

The Watcher stepped out to join us as we rounded the corner, while Willow trotted up from behind to join the group. I couldn't help but smile a little as I looked around at our small group.

Here we were, an odd little band of heroes. Two children, a Slayer, a Watcher, and a half-vampire. And we'd managed to avert the apocalypse. If someone didn't write this down in a book later on I would be very upset.

"People tend to rationalize what they can," Giles explained as we continued, "and forget what they can't."

Buffy nodded.

"Believe me, I've seen it happen." She said.

I smirked.

Oh how times change. Back in my day, people were all too eager to believe in monsters. There was a lot more burning back then…so I suppose it's a good thing times do change.

"Well I'll never forget it," Willow said, "none of it."

I didn't want to say I doubted she'd be able to even if she wanted to. The subconscious is funny that way. Well, less funny and more or less downright oppressive.

"Good." Giles commended, adjusting his glasses. "So next time you'll be prepared."

The two children stared at him in dismay, the poor dearies. They had yet to learn winning a battle did not mean winning the war.

"Next time?" Xander said.

"Next time is why?" Willow asked.

"Well, we prevented the Master from freeing himself," Giles explained, "and opening the mouth of Hell, but that's not to say he's going to stop trying."

I nodded.

"Vampires are a determined lot." I said, "And unfortunately they've had centuries of experience in this sort of thing. Not to mention this Master is especially eager to get out. They'll find another avenue even if they have to make one themselves."

"So the fun is just beginning." Giles said with a smirk.

"More vampires?" Willow asked, fiddling nervously with the hem of her sweater.

"Not just vampires," Giles said, almost eagerly, "the next threat we face may be quite different."

Buffy shrugged.

"I can hardly wait." She said.

'You and the Watcher both, apparently.' I thought. For a man who seemed so hesitant, he certainly did seem to have an eagerness for danger. I couldn't help but think about that look I'd seen in his eyes in the library.

"We're at the center of a mystical convergence here," Giles continued, "we may, in fact, stand between the earth, and it's total destruction."

"Yes, thank you for not frightening the younglings with such a task," I said, prodding him with my elbow, "they might get worried otherwise."

"Well I've gotta look on the bright side," Buffy said, "maybe I can still get kicked out of school?" She, Xander, and Willow started to walk away while I lingered with Giles.

"Oh, yeah, that's a plan." Xander said.

"Maybe you could blow something up?" Willow suggested, "They're really strict about that."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Especially at the look on Giles' face. He looked so exasperated and resigned.

"The earth is doomed." He declared complacently. That made me laugh. All right, I guffawed, and believe me that's not something I do often. I think I was just so relieved that everything had turned out nicely for a change.

Giles looked at me in surprise and I hastily turned away, still chortling.

"Sorry!" I said. "I-I'm not sure why I thought that was so humorous."

Giles cleared his throat, and I saw him blushing awkwardly. I think he had forgotten I was still standing beside him. Granted, I was much shorter than he was, so I suppose I can forgive that.

"So, Margery," he began, and I looked up at him expectantly. He hesitated, then continued without really looking at me, "I know this is rather short notice, but I was wondering if you wanted to conduct our interview now?"

I had forgotten all about the bloody interview.

"Of course, sir." I answered with a dip of my head, though anxiety shot through me like a bullet. A very painful bullet.

"Then if you'll be so kind as to follow me to the library," he said, already moving, so I fell into step beside him, "I'll get everything set up. It shouldn't take long, but I just wanted to be sure and document everything I could. It's so rare that one of your kind of seen, you understand?"

I nodded.

"I do."  
I hadn't even met another one of my kind, so of course he would be curious.

He was a researcher, a reader, a learner.

I couldn't help but respect that.


	14. Epilogue - The Interview

Epilogue: The Interview

I sat across from Giles while he set up for the interview. He had a notebook, a pen, and a voice recorder going on the table, as well as a list of specific questions he wanted to ask me.

To say I was nervous would be a gross understatement. In a way, I felt my life was on the line with this interview. I was fairly certain by this point that I wasn't on the verge of getting staked by the Slayer, but I still felt as though I was being watched, which I'm used to, but it was an added pressure I didn't really need.

The Watcher cleared his throat as he readjusted the notebook for the fifth time.

I realized he was just as nervous as me. I leaned back in my chair and rested my hands in my lap, trying to appear as nonthreatening as possible. This was, after all, presumably the first time he had been alone with a monster.

He was trusting me not to rip his throat out.

"Right," he said, "so, we'll start from the beginning: when were you born?"

"1360." I answered promptly.

"Can you be any more specific?" he asked, scribbling on his notebook.

"I think it was in April." I said. When he gave me a curious look I shrugged apologetically.

"My birth was never celebrated," I explained, "so I don't know what day it was."

"Didn't they keep a record of your birth?"

"As far as my mother's family was concerned, neither she nor I existed after my sire…well, did what he did with her." I played with the ends of my sleeves, trying to avoid his gaze. I start stammering when I get uncomfortable, and I didn't want to sound like I was lying, since I wasn't.

Why yes, I do tend to overthink things when I'm under duress, how ever did you guess?

"I see." Giles scribbled that down. I chanced a glance at the notepad.

Dear God, the man knew shorthand.

"And do you know the name of your father?" he asked.

I swallowed.

Of course I knew it. My earliest memory was hearing my mother shriek his name in her sleep. She did that every night, since she was plagued with night terrors.

"I'll write it." I said. "I won't speak that name."

You have to be careful about speaking the name of a demon, and since mother never knew the name of the host the demon used, I only ever knew the demon's name. There was a high probability nothing would happen should I speak it, but I'd rather not take that chance.

Giles nodded and slid the notebook across to me, and handed me his pen.

I took it and wrote: "Zarthos"

He took the notebook back and underlined the name several times and wrote a note beside it. Presumably it was a reminder to research the name. I already had. I still regretted it.

My father…Now _that_ was a monster.

"Where were you born?" he asked next.

"England." I answered, "In a small town no longer in existence. I believe the plague took most of its citizens in 1412, and those who survived burned the village to the ground to kill the rats and to rid themselves of the corpses."

"And what was your mother's name?"

"Cristiana Selwyn. Daughter to Cedric Selwyn, a minor lordling. She was the third of eight children, and one of two to survive childhood." I answered mechanically. Giles nodded, writing faster with every answer.

"And in spite of your…origins," Giles said delicately, "your mother still raised you?"

I nodded.

"Why?"

"I think even she questioned that. I don't know if she ever knew the answer." I answered with a shrug, "Perhaps she thought I'd be normal? I don't know. Mostly I think she just wanted something to punish for what had happened to her. She couldn't touch my father, but she had me."

Giles' pen faltered.

"Your mother…abused you?" he asked. His voice dropped down into a gentle tone.

I didn't know how to respond to that.

Anger I was used to. Fear I was used to. Distrust, suspicion, hate, etc. All of these reactions and behaviors I was used to dealing with when it comes to humans. But gentleness? Genuine concern and caring? Those are behaviors I'm not used to.

I shifted in my seat and looked away, feeling an odd choking sensation in my throat.

I nodded.

There was a silence.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. I nodded again, if for nothing else than to let him know I'd heard him. Then it was back to business.

He cleared his throat and rustled his list of questions to ask. He ticked off a few of them, and then pressed the tip of his pen next to one of them. He hesitated over it, debating whether or not to ask it at all.

"How many…" he faltered and a flush crept up his neck. I knew what the question was.

"How many have I killed?" I finished for him. He nodded, refusing to look at me.

"Honestly, I've forgotten." I said.

"Could you give a rough estimate?"

A pause.

"You won't like the answer." I said quietly. I didn't like the answer myself.

"Go ahead." He encouraged.

"I stopped counting after ninety-three," I said, "but if I had to estimate…I'd say a hundred and seventy."

Giles' scribbling faltered again. I looked at him.

The look on his face…

"I said you wouldn't like the answer." I said. "Not that it makes any difference, but I'm not proud of that number."

Giles didn't answer, he looked back down at his notebook and finished writing his note.

He tapped the end of his pen and eyed me thoughtfully. It wasn't a suspicious or malicious look, but it still made me uneasy.

"And have you ever had any affiliations with a vampire or anything of dark origins?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I have not." I said, "Vampires don't care for my kind very much. They find me disgusting. Like the weak runt of the litter that shouldn't even exist in the first place. As far as I can tell, nearly every time a half-vampire has been created, it's been because the vampire was not discreet enough, or was too stupid to finish his victim. In my case, he was interrupted, or he would have finished the job."

I sighed.

"So no, I haven't had any affiliations with vampires or anything else. I read about them, hear about them, and keep clear." I smirked and met his eyes over the rims of his glasses, "The same goes for humans. I tend to keep to myself."

"Well, I can understand how having human friends would be a problem, if they didn't know what you were."

"And how would it be better if they had known?" I asked. He chuckled at that.

"Good point." He said.

He reached over and turned off the voice recorder.

"Is it over?" I asked.

"I have enough to begin researching, yes," he said, "however, I have one more question: if I speak to Buffy, and tell her I think you should join us…would you be willing to help us? Or do you want to leave in peace?"

I looked at him in surprise. He actually thought I should join them?

"But…I've killed people." I whispered.

He nodded.

"You have, but when was the last time you fed from a person?"

"The early eighteen hundreds." I answered promptly. "After that it was a strict animal-only diet. And then some genius invented blood-packs and made my life so much easier."

Giles smiled a bit, but not enough to be reassuring.

"I don't like hurting people," I said, "and I try my best to control the Essence inside me, but I'll confess that sometimes it's just not enough." I swallowed, "But I promise you this: I will never willingly hurt any of you. I only want to stop whatever is happening here."

Giles thought for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

"I'll speak to Buffy." He said, and gave me another one of those gentle smiles that sent a strange feeling through me. I looked away, and then stood up.

"Thank you for your patience." I said. "And for your consideration. It's more than I ever could have ever expected from…well, anyone, really."

"Of course," he said, and then offered his hand. "Welcome aboard." He said with a warm smile. I accepted his hand and gave it a firm squeeze as we shook hands. To be honest, I didn't want to let go. I could have kissed him I was so relieved and happy.

We released each other, and as he slid his hands into his pockets and started to walk away, I had a sudden, mad impulse.

"Giles?" I said, even while my mind screamed at me that this was a bad idea. He turned back to me with an eyebrow arched.

"Yes?" he said.

I suddenly felt terribly foolish for what I'd been thinking. I shook my head, immediately embarrassed.

"N-Nothing, never mind." I said.

"No, it's all right, what is it?" he insisted. His tone grew softer when he saw my distress and moved towards me. If I could have I would have been blushing. As it was, I felt my stomach grow hot with embarrassment.

"i-I have a great favor to ask of you, and if it's too silly, which I daresay it is, please do feel free to refuse it. It's so stupid I don't know why I even bothered-"

"It's fine," Giles interrupted, "what did you need?"

I swallowed again and curled and uncurled my hands.

"Could you…would you look at me and…tell me what color my eyes are?" I asked.

"You…you don't know?" he sounded shocked. I shook my head and peeked at him from my dark hair. I could see he was trying to imagine what it would be like to go through all these years, and never once know what you looked like.

"No reflection." I reminded him.

"Of course," he stammered, and looked me dead in the eye. He paused, and then smiled again and murmured: "They're blue." He said, "A very brilliant, azure blue. The clearest I've ever seen." His words were like music to me.

"Then…they're nice?" I asked. That may sound vain, but I'd been under the impression they were unnatural. I'd half expected them to be red or even black.

"Very nice." He nodded. "Beautiful, I'd say."

I cleared my throat and dipped my head in thanks.

"You've done me a great kindness," I told him, "I shan't forget it."

"It was my pleasure." He insisted.

"That's another," I said, smiling at him, "if you continue I'll never be able to repay the debt. Don't be greedy."

He chuckled and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I believe you have classes to get to," he said, glancing up at the clock.

"They won't miss me." I assured him, "They even forgot to call my name for attendance the other day." I smiled again, adding a sly gleam to it, "We abominations have ways of staying hidden and discreet. It's just an influence we have."

"I see." He eyed the stacks of books piled on another one of the tables. "Help me with returns, then?" he asked.

"I thought you'd never ask." I answered, darting to the table and scooping up armfuls of books.

Giles walked over and picked up his own stack, immediately launching into a lecture when he spotted the name of the author on the cover: Tolstoy.

Some would think it terribly boring, but Giles and I spent the whole day putting books back, taking some out, discussing them, arguing about themes, metaphors, and hyperbole until the final bell rang.

But honestly? It was one of the best days of my life, and not just because of the books, though that played a major part of it.

No, it was one of the best days of my life because in those hours of poring over pages and titles and names; I made a true and life-long friend. And I like to think he found the same in me.

_(Thanks for reading, guys! Sorry if there's a bunch of typos here but I wrote it kind of late at night so have mercy! I'm planning on writing more if you guys want? Be sure and let me know what you think of it so far and what I need to improve upon. Thanks again for reading! I really appreciate it!)_


	15. Part Two - Chapter 1: Angel Problems

Giles hadn't been lying when he said we wouldn't just be encountering vampires in the weeks and months to come. Before long, our little group was getting involved in more and more dark, supernatural things that sometimes border-lined on the ludicrous.

Witches, demons, giant insects…you see my point, I trust? And of course there were always vampires in there somewhere.

The unrest was still in the air. I could feel it, and it only got stronger every day. I didn't like the feeling I was getting that we'd missed something, that the Master had something up his sleeve that we hadn't counted on, expected, or knew about.

As uneasy as all of the activity made me, I have to confess I was grateful for it. Please don't take that the wrong way, but going through so many trials and close calls, it brought us all closer together. I couldn't help but enjoy that.

I've said this before, I know, but I've never had many friends, and suddenly finding myself part of a group like this, part of a sort of family, it was a wholly new and intriguing experience for me that I couldn't help but relish and revel in.

I almost found myself hoping something else would happen so we could continue having our adventures. Not because I wanted anyone to be in danger, of course. No, I hated it when anyone got in trouble, but at the same time the thrill of the chase, the fight, the victory…it's hard not to get addicted to that.

My relationship with the group had improved a great deal.

They were finally coming to accept that I wasn't there to be the big baddie who turned traitor at the first opportunity.

I think Giles had a great deal to do with that, bless him.

Willow had always been more than willing to accept me, the dear heart. We would meet in the library every day, with the group, of course, but afterward as well. And almost every Thursday night (her allowance day) we would practically raid the local bookstores.

I kept insisting I could buy the whole place for her if she only asked me to, but she never did. She wanted to earn her books herself, so they could truly feel like her own, she said.

She's just that way.

Xander and I had a few awkward times at first. I could tell Jesse's demise still bothered him, and small wonder. We finally had a long discussion about it, and I finally got him to understand what had happened had not been his fault, nor could he have prevented it.

After that he returned to his joking, somewhat bumbling self.

Willow continued to love him, and he continued to become more and more infatuated with Buffy.

Buffy and I…well, we improved. She did finally stop giving me wary glances when she thought I wasn't looking, and while she didn't approve of my habit of stealing blood packs from the hospital, I invited her to come along one night so she could see what exactly it was I did.

I showed her I always checked the list for patients awaiting transfusions or anything remotely having to do with blood, and then chose the blood types least required for the week, and only took three at the most.

That seemed to pacify her, and she started smiling at me more.

She kept calling me 'Marge' whenever she approached me, which I didn't really approve of, but I wouldn't dare tell her not to.

The fact that she even called me at all was in and of itself a small miracle.

Giles? Giles and I had great times.

We had late nights together, either discussing what we were reading (we each averaged fourteen books a month) or debating the subject material of some fictional book, or researching supernatural occurrences; we always had a good time.

He even invited me into his home.

I don't _have_ to be invited into a dwelling place in order to be able to enter, but it still was a great display of trust on his part.

Giles completely won my heart when he made me tea. Even if I couldn't taste the deliciousness that Giles did, warm, thick drinks let me pretend I'm drinking something more…satisfying. So I love tea. I would like coffee, but for some reason that doesn't sit well with my stomach.

Anyway, the shadow that I felt overhanging, however (aside from the Master, of course) was Angel.

I still couldn't figure out his part in all of this. I still hadn't told Buffy what he was. Nor could I bring myself to. It's one of those cliché things one falls into where one either tells a falsehood or neglects to convey an important piece of information, and then the longer that one says nothing, the harder it becomes to say something.

I do think I just made a run-on sentence.

Oh well. I sporadically employ the stream of consciousness method, so you'll have to bear with me, reader.

Well, now you know the spot I was in.

Angel still hadn't done anything particularly threatening, nor did he seem inclined to, but he just seemed so…_involved_ with what was going on, I couldn't shake off that he knew even more than he let on. His 'mysterious' persona was bothering me.

And that name…where had I heard it before?

What made me feel even worse about my continued reticence was the fact that Buffy was obviously becoming more and more infatuated with him every time they met.

If something happened to her because of him…that would be my fault.

I followed Angel a few times, but every time he always just made his rounds on the town, didn't drink anyone, and went home.

I felt oddly disappointed by this. I had hoped for some sort of justification in being able to go to Buffy and reveal him for what he was, but nothing emerged.

For all intents and purposes, he was as well-behaved a young (or old) man one could hope for.

All of these puzzles put me in a rather sour mood, so I wasn't terribly talkative when Willow, Buffy and I went to the Bronze during the Fumigation Party, a rather disgusting ritual wherein free drinks were given for cockroaches caught and killed.

The usual clangor did nothing to improve my mood, either.

Willow explained to us it was an annual event to make up for the Bronze being closed for a few days for an actual cleaning. Or…de-bugging.

Buffy seemed as distracted as I was. Willow, bless her, tried to draw us out.

"It's a lot of fun." She insisted, when she couldn't get much of a response from Buffy. She noticed and gave a little smile.

"What's it like where you two are?" she asked. I looked up and gave her an answering smile as Buffy looked up in surprise at being caught.

"It's been a long couple of weeks." I explained.

"Sorry," Buffy said, "I was just thinking about things."

I nodded slowly.

"That's…generally what people think about, I suppose." I answered. She rolled her eyes at me. Willow was more savvy than I was at this.

"So, we're talking about a guy?" she guessed. I looked sharply at Buffy and felt my stomach churn in anxiety.

"Not exactly a guy," she answered, "for us to be talking about a guy there'd…actually have to be a guy. Was that a sentence?" Willow just smiled knowingly while I fidgeted uncomfortably.

"You're lacking a guy." She said.

"I am." Buffy acknowledged. "Which is fine with me, most of the time, but…"

"What about Angel?" Willow asked. I nearly groaned. Instead, I became suddenly _very_ interested in the ceiling.

"Angel?" Buffy repeated, "I can see him in a relationship: 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger! I'll see you next month.'"

I smirked at that and looked at Buffy. Maybe she was infatuated, but maybe that wouldn't mar her judgment after all?

"He's not around much, it's true." Willow said.

'Thank heaven for that.' I thought.

But Buffy was getting that tell-tale smile on her face that made my smile slip.

"When he is around," Buffy continued, "it's like the lights dim everywhere else. You know how it's like that with some guys?"

'Oh please don't wax poetic.' I thought.

"Oh yeah." Willow nodded. She gave a sigh and looked towards the dance floor. I followed her gaze but I already knew what, or rather who, she was looking at.

Xander was dancing like…well, I won't be rude. But he was trying to dance, anyway, and trying to approach attractive girls. Most of whom were taken or…Cordelia.

I think that's all I need say on that matter.

I saw them have a brief encounter, wherein neither of them looked particularly happy with each other, and afterward Xander hastily made his way over to our table with a disgruntled look on his face. When he stopped next to Buffy I saw Willow's eyes flicker with a momentary disappointed look.

Young love.

Oh how I loathe it.

"That Cordelia sure is a breath of _vile_ air." He announced, "What're you vixens up to?" He looked down at my drink and gave an exasperated sigh.

"Water again?" he demanded. I shrugged and looked my still nearly-full glass.

"Why not?" I asked, "It's free, and I don't have to be disappointed by not being able to detect any fabulous taste everyone else raves about."

I still have bitter memories of not being able to enjoy a drink with Willow after she offered me a fragrant fruit drink. It smelled delectable, but was still bland to me.

"Well," Willow said, "we're mostly just sitting here. Watching our barren lives pass us by." She looked down at the ground.

"Oh look," she said, "a cockroach!" She stomped on it while Xander looked on and shook his head.

"Woah!" he said facetiously, "Let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun, I'm dizzy!"

"All right," Buffy said, sliding off her seat, "now I'm affecting those nearest and dear to me. I'm going to call it a night."

"Aw, don't go!" Willow insisted, though it was Xander who seemed the most eager for her to stay.

"Yeah, it's early! We could…um, dance?" he looked so hopeful, but I cringed at the thought of him 'dancing' again.

Mercifully, Buffy turned him down.

"Rain check?" she said. "Good night."

"Should I walk you home?" I offered, more than eager to get out of the hellhole of noise and obnoxious children that invaded my personal space and gave off the stench of hormones. Buffy shook her head.

"I'll be fine, thanks." She said, and then was gone.

Xander slid into her unoccupied seat with a sigh and looked at the table like a forlorn puppy.

Willow offered her shoe, with the dead roach still stuck to the bottom of it.

"Want a free drink?" she asked Xander. I shuddered and grabbed the shoe out of her hand and hastily wiped off the remains of the insect.

"There are some things," I told her, "a free drink is not worth. The smashed organs and blood of an insect is one of them."

I handed her back her shoe and rubbed my temples.

"I think it's time I took my leave as well," I said, "Giles invited me over and I think I could use the quiet." Willow gave me a sympathetic look and handed me my book bag, wherein I had the book Giles had let me borrow: _The Complete Essay of Andrei Dropov, Vampire Historian_.

We had both hoped to find out something further about the Master, or even some mention of half-vampires, but apparently we were a rare enough breed to where finding any mention of us whatsoever was nigh impossible.

I had already given up ever finding record of another one, but Giles was determined. I think he wanted to write his own chronicle about his interactions with one of my kind, but I think he wanted to have something to compare his experience with.

"Good night, children," I told them both, giving a small bow, "don't stay up too later." I started to walk away but then paused and turned back to them.

"Oh, and Xander?" I said. He looked up at me.

"You'd better walk Willow home." I told him.

"Oh, that's okay, I can look after myself." Willow insisted when Xander looked surprised. I waved her comment aside.  
"Of that, I'm sure." I told her, "But it's the gentlemanly thing for him to do."

"Sure. I can do that." Xander nodded. I gave him an approving nod in return, and then took my leave, my mind already at Giles' home, where books, pleasant company, and tea awaited me.


	16. Part Two - Chapter 2: The Three

Of course, nothing ever goes as planned.

At around eleven thirty, just as I was about to go home, the phone rang and instinct told me to linger. I could hear the other person's voice, and recognized it immediately as Buffy's voice. As soon as I heard her tone of voice, every sense in me snapped to attention.

She sounded shaken. Not scared, but definitely shaken.

"Are you all right?" Giles asked, recognizing the tone as well. I moved closer, frowning and catching his eye. I raised an eyebrow in question and he motioned for me to come closer. I crossed the room in a flash and he leaned away from the phone so I could hear her more clearly.

"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks to Angel." Buffy was saying. My frown deepened and I gave Giles a sharp look.

"You say you were attacked?" Giles asked, "By three vampires? Was it just a hunting party or-"

"No, these were different." Buffy interrupted, "If had just been a hunting party I wouldn't have had any trouble with them. These guys were big. Really big, and they had this weird kind of armor?"

I gave a grunt as a dusty memory shook itself awake in my mind, and I looked at Giles.

"Do you know who they are?" Giles asked me. I sighed and shrugged.

"I think so." I said, "But we'll have to do some checking to be sure." Giles cocked an eyebrow at me.

"To the library, then?" he asked. I nodded.

"We'll handle it, Buffy. Get some rest." I spoke into the phone. "And don't let anyone in your house. No one."

"Got it." Buffy answered. "Thanks Marge. Giles."

After she hung up, Giles collected his tweed coat and motioned towards the door.

"I'll drive us over." He said with a sigh, "And here I thought I would actually get to spend a relaxing evening in." he complained. I couldn't help but laugh at that and I shook my head as I followed him.

"So you recognize the description?" he asked as we exited his home and reentered the night.

"I think I do. It's been many years, but during some of my research on vampires, I came across a legend about three vampires who wore armor, and were known for their large bulk and ruthlessness. They never took prisoners, and were only ever under the command of a powerful vampire."

He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"The Master?"

I shrugged.

"The legend is old enough to correspond with the Master, yes. He's the most powerful vampire we know of, so it only stands to reason he would be behind it. As I said, however, we should do some more checking just to be sure."

"Of course." He said. He sighed and opened the passenger side door of his car for me. "You know," he said as I slid into the seat, "sometimes I wonder what it must be like to actually go to bed at a reasonable hour, go to work, and not have to worry about the fate of the world resting in the hands of an adolescent girl."

I smirked and patted his arm consolingly.

"But then you wouldn't get to have this much fun." I told him.

He snorted and pulled away, shaking his head.

"The definition of 'fun' has been egregiously distorted for me, I'm afraid."

I nodded solemnly.

"I think I can understand," I said, "if your idea of a relaxing evening is spending time with a half-vampire."

"Yes, but who can boast such a feat?" he replied with a grin.

"It's a feat?" I queried with an arched brow.

"Of course. Who else can boast to have the friendship of so rare a being?" he answered. If I had had the ability to, I would have blushed. It's not often I'm called a friend. And to be the friend of a Watcher, no less…well, that's quite a feat, isn't it?

Giles fell asleep at six-thirty in the morning. We'd been up all night researching the Three. My assumption had been correct, but we'd managed to unearth more details about their purpose and why they were here.

I let Giles sleep, and only woke him to make him go sleep in his office when school started. I managed to procure him some coffee to wake him up once I knew when Buffy and the rest of the gang would be coming.

When they did arrive, I wasn't prepared for the story Buffy had to tell. Especially not when she explained that she'd _invited _Angel into her home. She'd let a vampire have access to her home.

To say I felt guilty and worried would be an understatement.

I was petrified.

"Say that again." I snapped at her once she'd finished. She blinked at me in surprise and then frowned.

"What? Angel slept in my room, it was no big deal. He was gone by morning anyway. He was just watching out for me, and anyway it was the least I could do after he took a beating for me."

Xander was about as upset as I was that she had let Angel sleep in her room.

"You let him sleep in your room?!" he demanded, "In your bed?!"

"Not _in_ my bed, _by_ my bed." She corrected.

I held up my hand.

"I'm pretty sure the preposition can be ignored considering you had a man you barely know in your bedroom." I told her. "I'm assuming your mother didn't know of this arrangement?"

"Of course not!" Buffy exclaimed. "Do you think I'm crazy? You should have seen the look on her face when she saw Angel. Talk about scathing." She gave a shudder and I closed my eyes as I began to massage my temples.

I was battling viciously with my conscience.

'Tell her. Tell her now.' It was telling me. But the thought of how angry she would be with me made me hesitate. The more I hesitated, the more my courage and resolve failed me. I just couldn't do it. Not here, anyway.

I lied and told myself I'd find her alone later and explain it all to her then. I just couldn't do it in front of the other children. Not that it would be long before they knew after I told Buffy, anyway, but it was enough to make me hesitate.

Willow didn't seem to view this scenario in a negative light at all. The girl became downright doe-eyed and stared at Buffy in rapture. I have to admit, she looked so adorable with that look on her face I had a hard time not yielding in my stance on Buffy's actions a little.

"That is _so_ romantic!" she sighed, then lifted her eyebrows excitedly, "Did you-I mean, did he-?" It took me a moment to understand what she was suggesting, but when I did I froze and looked hastily at Buffy. She smiled softly and gave a small shake of her head.

"Perfect gentleman." She said.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned away, running my hand across my face.

Dear God, these children were giving me panic attacks.

"Buffy," Xander whined, "Come on, wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book."

"What?" Buffy snapped back, "Saving my life, getting slashed in the ribs?"

"Duh." Xander answered, "Guys will do anything to impress a girl. I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath."

I blinked and looked at him.

"We used to call that torture." I informed him. "Only…without the Gatorade." I frowned and took a step towards Giles as he approached. "What on earth is Gatorade?" I asked.

"Sporty people drink it." He mumbled sleepily, slurping down another mug of coffee.

Behind me, Willow was backing up Xander's claim.

"Well, it was pretty impressive." She said, "But…later there was an 'ick' factor."

Giles grimaced and looked at me in despair. It was such a pathetic look I wanted to both laugh and give him a consoling hug. I could understand his grumpiness. After all, he had had a long, weary night, and instead of getting to talk about vampires like he wanted to, he had to sit and listen to adolescent girls coo over a handsome stranger.

"Can we _please_ steer this 'riveting' conversation back to the events that happened earlier in the evening?" he pleased, setting his mug down on one of the study tables and taking another consoling gulp of his coffee.

I immediately picked up one of the books we'd been studying, flicked it open to the desired page, and handed it to him. He gave a nod of thanks and took a breath.

"You left the Bronze, and were set upon by three unusually virile vampires, yes?" he continued. She nodded. He set the book down, open to the illustration we'd found and pointed at it.

"Did they look like this?" he asked.

"Yeah." She nodded. "What's with the uniforms?"

"They're the Three." I answered. "They're vampires of legend, very big, very strong, and very vicious. One of the stories I read told tale of an entire village in Prussia that they massacred and burned down before help could be sent for."

Willow shook her head.

"How is it you guys always know this stuff?" she asked, "You always know what's going on, I never know what's going on."

I smiled.

"You haven't spent over two centuries studying the darker things that lurk in the night and in 'myths'." I answered.

"And you weren't here from midnight until six researching it." Giles added tiredly.

"No, I was sleeping." She acknowledged.

"Well, the appearance of the Three is actually sort of a good thing." I put in. "Not that it's good you were nearly hurt, of course, but-" I hemmed and hawed and looked away when Buffy scowled at me so Giles finished my sentence.

"-you're obviously hurting the Master very much. He wouldn't send the Three after just anyone. However, this does show that we must step up our training with weapons."

I stifled a groan.

Giles had insisted I sit in on his and Buffy's training sessions in order to give them precise instructions on where to hit. The only problem was I'm not really the most progressed of fighters, and what's more, Buffy already knew what to do most of the time, so I didn't really see the need in more training.

If anything, I was simply serving as a mobile target when Giles decided he'd had enough.

That being said, I was getting a bit faster in my attack combinations.

"Uh, Buffy," Xander broke in, "you should stay at my house until these samurai guys are history."

We all looked at him in confusion.

"Xander," I said, "dear boy, even if they know where she lives, they can't get in unless she invited them. Being in a different location would have no added effect whatsoever."

Xander looked ready to throttle me, but Giles seconded my claim.

"Angel and Buffy are in no immediate jeopardy." He said, cleaning his glasses, "eventually the Master will send someone else, of course, but in the meantime the Three, having failed, will offer their own lives in penance."

I beamed at Buffy.

"This is the first time they've ever failed." I informed her. "It's a proud day for you."

"But that means the next ones will be bigger and worse, though, right?" she asked. My smile slipped a little.

"Perhaps." I admitted.

"But we'll be practicing fighting techniques in the meanwhile," Giles broke in, "so we'll be very well prepared."

Buffy and I looked at each other. She rolled her eyes, I hid a smile and coughed to hide my chuckle, while Giles stared into his coffee, obviously thinking of going back to bed.

"Try not to rip my shirt this time," I told her, "I've only got the two."

Buffy laughed and nodded.

"I'll try," she promised, "but you wouldn't have this problem if you'd let me take you shopping some time. You seriously need a wardrobe expansion."

"Spare me," I begged, "I don't have room for all the clothes you'd try and procure me. And don't even _think_ about trying to get me into that yellow dress again. Then you really will have a fight on your hands."

"Maybe that's the way to actually have a decent workout with you."

"I do believe that was a challenge." I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, it was." Buffy confirmed.

"Until this afternoon, then." I said, offering my hand.

"Until then." She nodded, shaking it.

I didn't feel nearly as confident as I acted, but apparently I was becoming quite good at lying.

Later that afternoon, Giles closed the library while Buffy and I waited by the weapons supply locker. Buffy was like a child in a sweet-shop. She poked and fiddled with every weapon she saw, and seemed particularly excited by the crossbow.

"Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality." She quipped, cradling the crossbow as Giles, sporting his training pads, walked up and grabbed two quarterstaffs.

"What can I shoot?" she asked.

"Nothing," he answered, much to Buffy's disappointment, "the crossbow comes later. You must first become proficient with the basic tools of combat. You must begin with a quarterstaff." He handed her one of the staffs, which she looked at with disdain.

"Giles, it's the 20th century, I'm not going to be fighting Friar Tuck."

"If he's a vampire, you might." I warned with a smirk. She giggled at me while Giles huffed in annoyance. We all walked down to the center of the floor of the library, and I took a seat on the bannister to observe and wait for my turn.

"You never know with whom or what you will be fighting." Giles insisted, donning his helmet. "These traditions have been handed down through the ages-" he continued.

"Well that is how traditions are made." I murmured under my breath.

"you show me good, steady progress with the quarterstaff, and in due course we'll discuss the crossbow. Put on your pads."

Buffy just laughed at him.

"I'm…not gonna need pads to fight you." She said. I thought was a trifle rude. True, Giles didn't look particularly formidable, especially not in that outfit, but it wouldn't have hurt to spare his pride a little bit.

"We'll see about that." Giles said primly, he saluted her with the staff, "En garde."

To my surprise, Giles actually did rather well starting out. His swings were fast and calculated, and he had obviously taken Buffy by surprise with his skill because it took her a moment to get into the rhythm of his swings. But when she did, it didn't take her long to move naturally with her weapon, and before too long, she had gotten a hard blow in to Giles' back, which made him twist and give a cry of pain, and then she swept his leg out from underneath him.

He fell, dropping his staff with a loud clatter.

I winced for him and sprang off my perch to go help him back up.

"Does this mean I get to shoot the crossbow, now?" Buffy asked with a grin.

"Yes," Giles said weakly as I supported him back to his feet, "but first, I think it's Margery's turn."

"Traitor." I hissed at him.

I limped away while Buffy turned back to me.

_End her_

The Essence was stirring again.

'It's just a practice fight. And she's a friend, so hush.'

_The Slayer is no friend to our kind. And she certainly won't be once she finds out you lied to her_

I winced as I bent down to pick up Giles' fallen quarterstaff. The Essence was going to take great pleasure in goading me with that.

_What do you think she'll do should something happen to her thanks to your negligence? Your lies? Because that's what you always do. Lie. Lie about what you are, what WE are_

'Be quiet.'

My head was starting to pound as I turned slowly to face Buffy, I could feel rage building up, and I think she felt it because a frown flickered across her face as we both saluted each other and she swung her staff at me.

I blocked it easily and returned the tap. We rhythmically began striking each other's staff, gradually picking up speed, but my swings were just a tad faster since I was having a battle in my head as well as physically.

_They'll hate you_

'I won't let anything happen.'

_They'll blame you, once Angel is revealed, this can only end in tragedy_

'I _won't_ let anything happen.' I insisted, picking up speed. Buffy was grunting, trying to match my speed. She swung at my side, I caught the blow and shoved her back with a growl that took her off guard.

_Ah, yes. You won't let anything happen. Just like you didn't let the Three attack Buffy_

'I couldn't have known about that. I won't let Angel do anything. I won't.'

_Do you even know where he is?_

'I'll start watching him more.'

_You should kill him_

'That's even messier. No.'

_Then he'll kill your so-called friends_

'He WON'T!' I screamed in my head, and at the same time swung wildly at Buffy. It took her completely by surprise, and while she tried to block it, I still got her in the side and sent her stumbling to the right. I followed up and struck at her legs, which she blocked, so I spun, caught her in the shoulder with an elbow, knocked her off balance, and then finished sweeping her legs out from underneath her.

'I won't let him.' I thought, trembling in anger and frustration. 'I'll kill him first. But not until he makes a move. We do this my way and my way only.'

The Essence hissed, but remained silent for once.

"What the heck was that?" Buffy demanded, getting to her feet. She looked angry.

"That was Margery besting you." Giles answered. He didn't look angry, he looked rather smug and amused.

"No, I mean, did I piss you off earlier or something? You went into rage-mode. Why?" Buffy demanded.

I blinked, calming down and realizing how I must have looked. I handed my staff to Giles and bowed to Buffy, a hand to my chest.

"My mistake." I said, "I very unwisely decided to release my pent up frustration during combat. It was foolish of me and an error I won't make again. Pray forgive me, miss."

"I-I do. It's okay, just…I don't know, warn me next time?" Buffy asked, giving me a playful tap on the shoulder.

"In combat, your opponent won't warn you if they're in a good or bad mood," Giles pointed out, "this was a good exercise." He patted me on the back, "Well done, Miss Margery. Your practice is paying off."

"I hope so, sir." I said with a smile.

An image of Angel flitted into my mind and my smile faded as that anger and protective feeling swelled in my chest again.

"I hope so."


	17. Part Two - Chapter 3: Accusations

Part 4: Realizations and Confrontations

You know how dreams never come true? Or, at least they very seldom come true?

That's not entirely valid. Dreams _do _come true. They just have to be nightmares, first. And one of mine came true the very next day.

I had been walking with Giles across the yard, heading towards school. Willow had just come bouncing up to join us, and Xander was coming in close behind when I smelled Buffy nearby and turned around to look for her.

"Hey, Buffy!" Willow said when she saw me look, but the smile of welcome I had froze on my face when I saw her expression.

She looked frightened, stunned, disappointed, and frustrated.

I swallowed and quickly crossed the lawn to get to her, Giles right on my heels, and the two children following after a hesitation, sensing something was wrong.

"What's wrong, dear heart?" I murmured as I reached her side. But I knew what was wrong. I knew it before I even gave voice to the question. And I knew what would come soon after. The question. The demand. The suspicion.

I didn't want to face that. But I had to be here for her. I had to face it.

I had remained silent too long and now I was paying for it.

_Should have killed him_

'If you're not going to be helpful you'll do me the favor of remaining _SILENT_.'

"A-Angel." She stammered, looking at me, then up at Giles. "He's a vampire, Giles." She said.

I heard Willow gasp, Xander growled, and I felt my jaw clench. This wasn't news to me, but thinking about a vampire being close to my young companion…

"How do you know?" Giles asked.

"He came to my room again last night," she explained, "we were just…talking and then…we were kissing and he pulled away and when he did I saw-" she shook her head and ran a hand over her face.

"Come on, let's not linger," Giles said, herding us back towards the school, "we'll talk on the way."

We started moving again, but very slowly. Heads lowered, a thousand panicked thoughts racing through our minds. I could practically feel them reverberating through the air. I felt Willow draw closer to me, clutching at her backpack strap.

"Angel's a _vampire_?" she repeated.

Buffy just shook her head, like she didn't hear her friend.

"I can't believe this is happening." She said, mostly to herself, I thought. "One minute we were kissing and the next minute-" She trailed off and then whirled around to Giles, a desperate look in her eyes.

"Couldn't a vampire be a good person?" she asked, "Couldn't it happen?"

"Well, a vampire isn't a person at all," Giles reminded her, "it may have the movements, the memory, even the personality of the person it took over but it's still a demon at the core. There is no halfway."

I arched an eyebrow at him and cleared my throat.

He blushed.

"Well…there's hardly ever a halfway." He corrected, "But technically you're not a full vampire, either."

"Fair enough." I shrugged.

"But why?" Buffy asked, "Why was he good to me? Why did he help me? Was it all part of the Master's plan? It doesn't make sense!" she plopped herself down on a concrete bench, Willow at her side, while I remained standing and turned my back on her.

_It's coming_

I cringed at the chuckling tone of the Essence.

_The accusations, the hatred. They'll think you're a monster again. You'll lose whatever kinship you had, and you have no one to blame but yourself, you little fool. You can't stay teetering on the fence forever. You'll fall off one way or the other._

"All right," Xander said, sounding a little too perky for the dark tone this conversation had taken, "you have a problem, so let's take a breath and figure this out calmly and objectively." He smiled at her. "Angel's a vampire. You're a Slayer. I think it's obvious what you have to do."

Buffy winced and looked up Giles in appeal.

"It is a Slayer's duty." He admitted reluctantly.

"I know you have feelings for this guy," Xander continued, "but you're not in love with him, right?"

Buffy hesitated, and looked away. Xander looked as though she'd just struck him.

"You're in love with a _vampire_?" He demanded, "Are you out of your mind?"

"What?!"

We all whirled at the foreign voice, and saw Cordelia staring at us.

'Oh no.' I thought with a groan. I ran a hand over my face and sighed. Today was not starting off well at all.

"Not vampire," Xander said with a weak laugh, "uh, how could you love an umpire?" he corrected. "Everyone hates him!"

But she wasn't talking about us, she shook her head in disdain and began accosting another unfortunate victim who happened to be wearing the same style dress as Cordelia's. She marched off, shouting that the dress was a knockoff until she disappeared from sight.

We breathed a collective sigh of relief and Buffy gave a weak smile.

"And we think we have problems." She said dryly.

I cleared my throat and they looked at me so I looked at the ground.

"I think we should give this a bit more time." I said, "And figure this out." I couldn't believe what I was doing, but I was doing it. I was defending Angel.

"From what I have seen of Angel, he didn't behave as a normal vampire would, no. And I doubt he's working for the Master since he's served to thwart his plans at every turn. I don't know what his plans are, which is why I didn't say anything about his…vampirism."

There, it was out there. Giles peered at me over his glasses, Willow's eyes widened, Xander's mouth dropped open, and Buffy stared at me in disbelief.

"I-I was curious." I stammered. "I wanted to know what he was up to. I thought he didn't have harmful intentions-" I realized I was just spouting excuses so I stopped, swallowing and feeling incredibly uncomfortable and ashamed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"You _knew_?" Buffy demanded, standing up. Fury burned bright in her eyes and she came towards me. I let her. Whatever she wanted to do to me, I deserved it for being such a colossal fool concerning the safety of the children.

She stopped and her mouth curled into a mirthless smile.

"Of course you knew." She said, "You knew as soon as we met him, didn't you?"

I nodded, looking away.

"And you didn't say anything." She spat. "Why? Hoping he would kill me? Do your job for you?" she gave me a hard shove at the last question and I stumbled back. Giles caught my arm to steady me, but Buffy was at me again in a flash, giving me another push.

"Huh?" she demanded, pushing me back with each question. "Why don't you say something? Why don't you deny it? Because it's true? Was this your plan all along?"

"Buffy-" Giles began but I interrupted.

"I was a fool!" I shouted at her, blocking her arms when she started to push me again. Some students paused to stare at us, but one look from Buffy sent them hurrying away again. I took a deep breath and faced her.

"I was a fool." I repeated. "I should have told you, but…as you noticed, he doesn't act like one of them. And I've seen vampires hunt and stalk and woo their prey, and he exhibited nothing akin to that. I was confused and curious as to why he was doing that. I wanted to know what he was doing, and so I said nothing."

I swallowed and shook my head.

"I shouldn't have done that. I should have known it was only a matter of time before it ended badly. And I meant to tell you, I truly did, but…I hesitated for fear of you wondering why I hadn't said something sooner, but that's exactly what happened anyway."

I felt something pricking the back of my eyes and I stiffened in surprise.

Tears?

I blinked them away and felt my shoulders slump in defeat.

They would never trust me again. Not after this. And why should they? After what I'd done, _I _wouldn't trust me.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I know that doesn't erase what I've done or atone for what could have happened. But I am truly, deeply sorry. If I could go back and change my actions I would. But I can't, so all I can do now is protect you."

I looked at them all and swallowed again.

"If you'll have me." I murmured. "I swear, I never meant for this to happen." I sighed and turned away.

"If you want me to go, I will." I told them. "My punishment is up to you."

There was a dead silence that seemed to stretch on for an eternity.

I started to walk away, a cold feeling settling into my stomach.

They'd already rejected me. And it was only right.

To my surprise, I felt a hand grab my wrist. Not hard, just enough to halt my progress, but I did not turn around.

"Margery." Giles murmured, "Don't go. Wait a moment."

I turned ever so slightly to look at him. He was giving me that look he'd given me when I'd told him about my mother and how she'd treated me. I couldn't handle that look, so I looked at the others. Xander still looked surprised but not necessarily angry, Willow looked sad but gave me a small, soft smile, and Buffy's fury had died down to a simmer.

"You really want to help?" Buffy asked.

I nodded.

"More than anything." I answered, "Let my rectify my mistake. That's all I ask. I won't even come around you if you don't wish it. Just let me prove my intentions are honorable, if misguided."

Buffy hesitated, and looked at Giles questioningly.

She was asking him to pass judgment.

I looked at him, turning so that I was facing the others, but stayed looking at him. I pleaded with him wordlessly, begging him to try and understand and forgive.

He gave me a gentle smile and put a hand on my shoulder before turning back to Buffy.

"She can help." He told her.

Buffy shrugged and nodded.

"But next time," she told me, "you'd better tell me when something's up, or it won't be pretty."

I nodded.

"You have my word." I promised.

Wordlessly, Buffy, Xander, and Willow arose from the bench and started heading inside, leaving Giles and me to follow along behind them.

"I feel such an idiot." I whispered to him as I ran a hand across my forehead. "I can't believe I could do something so stupid."

"We all make mistakes." He murmured back to me.

"None that are so jeopardizing." I said. "I should have said something. I should have _done_ something. Sent her a note at least."

He kept his hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"We'll get through it." He said, "Buffy will calm down, she's just upset right now, that's all." He looked down at me and smiled again.

"Why did you defend me?" I asked after a moment's pause.

He seemed surprised by the question.

"Don't you know?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Who on earth would help me clean up the library if I let Buffy throw you out?" he asked.

Much to my surprise, I actually laughed at that, and he joined his chuckle to my weak, sad little sound.

I hesitated, and then came to a halt, and Giles turned to face me, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

In answer, I just smiled, and raised myself up on my toes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before lowering myself back down. He gave a surprised laugh and looked a bit baffled.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"For the third kindness you've done me." I answered. "I've no right to have such a friend as you." I added quietly as we started for the school again.

"You flatter me." He said, still laughing awkwardly.

"No, I simply speak the truth." I answered. He gave another awkward laugh and gave me a friendly pat on the back.

"Well, let's see if you can't repay me by helping me do a little research?" he asked.

"It would be my pleasure." I answered.

Perhaps the day wasn't a complete loss after all?


	18. Part Two: Chapter 4: AngelAngelus

That afternoon we all met up in the library once again. Giles and I had already been through a small mountain of books, looking for any sort of mention of Angel, all the while this uncomfortably familiar sensation pricking at my mind.

When the three children came in, they didn't say much to either of us. Buffy acted as though I wasn't there, Xander looked as though he wanted to say something, but kept looking at Buffy and changing his mind, but Willow gave my hand a sympathetic squeeze when I handed her a book.

That act was more consolation than any word could have been.

Everyone grabbed a book and settled down for the research session, which was interrupted half an hour later by Giles very loudly exclaiming: "Here's something, at last!"

Xander nearly dropped his book and I winced at the sudden interruption in the silence.

"Can you please warn us before you do that?" Xander said, pretty much vocalizing our collective request.

Giles ignored it, however.

"Nothing about Angel in the text," he explained, "but it suddenly occurred to me that it's been ages since I read the diaries of any of the Watchers before me."

"Do you keep a diary, Giles?" I asked. Giles flushed and stammered a bit.

"W-Well, yes," he said, "naturally, for future Watchers-" he trailed off and cleared his throat before adjusting his glasses.

"They're only to be published posthumously." He finished.

I laughed at that and gave him a playful nudge.

"They can't be that bad." I told him.

"It must have been so embarrassing when you thought he'd read your diary," Willow said to Buffy, speaking of Angel, "but then it turned out he hadn't, but then he felt the same way-" she broke off when she felt Xander glaring at her. The poor thing shrank down in her seat and blushed a little.

"I'm listening." She said weakly.

"Well," Giles began again, "there's mentioned some years ago in Ireland an Angelus: 'One with the angelic face'."

"They got that right." Buffy muttered.

I groaned and smacked my hand against my forehead. Of course. Of all vampires it _had_ to be that one which I didn't recognize.

"What?" Buffy demanded.

I looked at her, feeling embarrassed and ashamed all over again.

"Some years ago," I began, "I decided I needed to investigate vampires a bit more thoroughly, and I spent the next century learning all I could about them, but what I learned disturbed and disgusted me enough to where I just…logged it away and covered it up. Those texts, they're dusty and faded in my memory, but Angel stirred some of those memories. His name did, at least. I knew it was familiar, but I couldn't remember from where until…" I looked at Giles.

"Angelus," I said, "his true name. The diaries make mention of the atrocities he committed, does it not?"

"Atrocities?" Buffy repeated, turning pale.

"Angelus was one of the most sadistic vampires I'd read of." I told her.

"So, Angel's been around for a while?" Willow asked.

"Not long for a vampire," Giles answered, "Two hundred and forty years or so."

Did I mention how old that sort of statement makes me feel?

"Two hundred and forty." Buffy chuckled, "Well, he said he was older."

"Thank God," I said dryly, "some honesty at last."

She shot me a look and I dropped my gaze.

"Point taken." I murmured. Giles, ever the mediator, came to the rescue yet again.

"Angelus," he continued, "leaves Ireland, wreaks havoc in Europe for several decades-"

"About the time I heard about him and became disheartened with my rather dark research." I interrupted. Willow looked at me quizzically.

"I'd hoped to find a…well, a more kind-hearted vampire." I explained. "I was getting lonely again. But, small wonder, there aren't any. The reports and stories I heard about Angelus had a large part in my remaining nearly a hermit for another century and a half."

I looked at Giles and smiled weakly.

"Apologies, sir," I said, "I interrupted you. Pray continue."

"Well, there's not much else to say," he answered, "about eighty years ago, a very peculiar thing happened. He comes to America, shuns other vampires, and lives alone. There's no record of him hunting here."

"So he is a good vampire!" Willow declared. "I mean, on a scale of one to ten, with ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night and one being someone who's…not?"

Giles adjusted his glasses again.

"Well, there's no record," he repeated, "but, vampires hunt and kill. It's what they do."

I frowned.

"Unless he discovered an alternate means, as I did." I suggested. "Keep in mind, my record's not exactly clean, either, Giles."

He hummed thoughtfully, but didn't answer.

"But you're only half," Xander insisted, "you have more control over…whatever it is that's in you."

"A demon." I provided.

"Right. Well, vampires don't, right?"

"He could've fed on me and he didn't." Buffy argued. That was still a point that rubbed me wrong. His behavior…I just couldn't understand it. Sure vampires had 'fallen in love' with humans before, but nearly every account I had ever read had ended with the vampire yielding to their bloodlust, or changing their love. Not to mention it was rare that vampires ever saw a human as anything but prey.

"Question:" Xander said, turning to Giles, "A hundred years or so before he came to our shores, what was he like then?"

"Well, like all of them." Giles answered. "A vicious, violent animal."

"Demon." I corrected. Giles raised an eyebrow at me.

"Animals only kill for food and self-preservation. They almost never have any enjoyment from it." I smirked. "Only humans and vampires hunt for sport, and enjoy the kill."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Hmmm," he said, "yes you…have a point. Well, he was a vicious, violent demon, then." He corrected. I nodded in approval, but stopped when I saw the stricken, sad look on Buffy's face. I'd forgotten she was in love with this monster.

I was surprised to think of him as such. After all, what was I?

'Look at the pot calling the kettle black.' I thought.

Our group didn't really get a chance to meet again until later that evening, and that was just to study with Willow and Buffy. I merely went for appearance's sake, and to look after Buffy. She was still distracted and listless.

Willow was trying to help her study, but it was plain Buffy's mind was elsewhere when she didn't offer an answer at the first question Willow asked of her.

"When did the Reconstruction begin?" she faltered at the question. "Uh, the Reconstruction began…after the Construction…which was shoddy, so they had to reconstruct?" she guessed. I groaned inwardly.

Rutherford Hayes would have been so upset with that answer.

"After the destruction of the Civil War." Willow corrected gently.

"Right. Civil War." She said, "During which Angel was already a hundred and change." She added to herself.

"If it makes you feel any better," I offered, "I was already five hundred years old."

It was a feeble comfort, but I tried.

"Actually, I was rather close with a young man during that time." I said, smiling at the memory.

"Ooo," Willow breathed, "a young man? As in…you know, a beau?"

I smirked and laughed a little.

"I-I suppose he would have been called such, yes. I suppose he was a beau, though I only ever treated him as a close friend."

Buffy snorted.

"Don't tell me you put him in the friend-zone?" she asked. I frowned in bewilderment, then understood.

"Oh," I said, "no, it wasn't like that. We didn't lead each other on. We were friendly, we admired each other…and that was that."

"You didn't want to date him?" Willow asked.

"The term was 'courting' back then, dear," I said with a smile, "and…I considered it. But, it would have been very impractical. For a number of reasons."

Willow nodded in understanding.

"Because of the whole half-vampire thing?" she asked.

"Yes," I said slowly, "that being the most obvious reason, but he had made it clear that when he married, he meant to have heirs soon after so he could carry on the family name. He was the only son of a rather wealthy merchant, so he had a great deal of pride."

"What was his name?" Buffy asked suddenly.

"Blake." I answered, "Arthur Blake. He knew me as Catherine Saunders."

"Wait," Willow said, frowning, "back up, you can't…you know, give heirs?"

I blinked at her.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "Vampires can't reproduce that way, and I have no idea of my capabilities in that matter. But honestly, I didn't want to try and make heirs. I didn't like the concept, and I still don't."

"Really?" Willow asked in surprise.

"Really." I nodded.

"You mean you're six centuries old and you've never…you know…" Buffy nudged me.

I suddenly realized the conversation had taken a turn I was very uncomfortable with. It was too late to try and steer it away, however.

"No, I haven't. And I haven't the desire to." I answered, squirming.

"But, why?" Willow asked. She sounded…sad? Egad, what on earth were they so bewildered and sad about?

"Because I just don't." I answered with a shrug, "It's just the way I am. I don't question why you'd want to with…whomever. It's the way you are, and I'm the way I am. You might be interested in that sort of thing, but I'm not, and that's fine."

"So you're celibate?" Buffy asked.

"No," I answered, "I never chose to be this way. I just…am."

There was a silence as they mulled this over.

"I think I get it." Willow finally said. "You don't like physical intimacy, but you do like men?"

I nodded.

"Precisely, dear. I'm perfectly capable of loving someone, but I don't want to be intimate with anyone."

Buffy still looked confused but Willow smiled.

"I get it." She said, "You're asexual."

I lifted an eyebrow, thinking about it.

"You know," I said slowly, "I think I am."

I cleared my throat and looked at Buffy.

"Well, that's enough about that. We need to help you pass history, do we not?" I said. But to my surprise, I seemed to have sparked a different train of thought for my two young companions. That's the last time I try and liven up a conversation.

"When Angel kissed you," she said, addressing Buffy, "before he changed into…well, how was it?"

Buffy smiled softly.

"Unbelievable." She answered.

"It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever," Willow said, "although, you'll still get wrinkly and die…" she frowned. "I'll be quiet now."

I frowned.

"Being permanently young and pretty isn't always a lark." I told her. "Arthur Blake has been dead a hundred and thirty-four years. The young, handsome, genteel man I knew and loved went off to war and never came back. What few friends I've made are long dead as well, some longer than four centuries. It's not an easy existence." I shrugged, "Not for all, anyway."

My thoughts started turning towards a certain young man I had known in England, back when the second World War had just begun…

But I couldn't think about that. Not right now. I was done with those thoughts for tonight, and besides-

I inhaled and stiffened.

There was that decayed, hungry smell again.

I turned with a growl, staring at a bookcase. There was something not right, here.

Buffy and Willow didn't seem to notice, however. They were too busy still discussing Angel and how Buffy was going to have to perform the inevitable.

I rose from my seat and stalked towards where the scent was coming from, feeling my muscles tighten with apprehension with every step I took.

_Kin_

'No kin of mine.'

_Close, but moving away_

I sped up, but when I reached the bookcase and peered behind it, there was nothing there, though the scent still lingered.

A vampire had been here, of that I was certain. Angel? Perhaps. I couldn't be sure.

I frowned and looked around a little more, but couldn't find anything disturbed, so I started back for the table.

I would tell Buffy before she went home. No, I'd do more than that, I'd walk her home as well. I'd make up for my blunder. Even if meant having to spend the night outside her window to make sure nothing got in.


	19. Part Two - Chapter 5: Fight with Angel

"Vampire, huh?" Buffy said to me as we walked along the sidewalk. I'd waited until after we'd deposited Willow at her home before I'd told her about what I'd sensed in the library. She took it rather well, all things considered.

I nodded and slipped my hands into the pocket on my coat. It wasn't cold, but I feel naked without a coat on. I'm a creature of habit, what can I say?

"Was it Angel?" she asked.

"I couldn't be sure." I answered, "Vampires tend to all smell the same to me. Humans at least wear different scents sometimes so I can distinguish them, but alas, vampires have not yet discovered the practice."

Buffy smirked at me.

"Yeah," she said, "I'd noticed you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses."

I must have looked horrified when I turned to her because she started snorting in laughter. I didn't know whether to be angry or relieved.

"You're jesting with me." I said.

"Of course! You smell fine, Marge, don't worry about it." She gave me a nudge and then became serious again.

"So why would a vampire be watching me in the library unless it was Angel?" she asked. She had a good point. I thought for a moment, but decided that whatever the vampire had heard wouldn't exactly benefit the Master in anyway, so it must have been Angel.

Right?

"I couldn't say." I said apologetically, "All I know is, something was observing us, and I don't like it. Hence my walking you home."

"Afraid I can't look after myself?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

"On the contrary, you're perfectly capable, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't find annihilating creatures of evil intent a bit easier if you had some help."

She frowned a little, but shrugged and tucked some of her blond hair behind her ear.

"Suit yourself." She said.

"And I thought I'd keep vigil around your home," I added, "just in case. Angel has permission to enter your home, he may exploit it. I thought I'd just keep an eye out so you can rest."

"Don't you need to rest?" she asked, frowning at me, "You've looking a little pale lately."

I give her wry look.

"Well, not having a pulse will have that effect, dear." I reminded her. Buffy rolled her eyes at me and made an odd sound in her throat.

"I mean you've been looking _paler_. Like, you have bags under your eyes and all that. Aren't you sleeping?" she asked.

"Quite soundly." I replied, "I just…haven't fed in a while." I grimaced, "I'm going to have to make another run on the hospital soon, I'm afraid." I didn't look at her when I said this, but she didn't say anything negative, which was about as much permission as I was going to get.

"Is everything…" she began, but trailed off and tried to act like she hadn't said anything.

"Under control?" I finished for her, knowing what she was thinking. She was thinking I might be feeling the blood lust. And I was, but not very strongly. I was in the early stages of withdrawal, so mostly I was just very fatigued feeling.

"Yes." I said, ignoring the hissing chuckle of the Essence.

"Just checking." She said.

We didn't speak again until we neared her house, and then, surprisingly, I was the one to break the silence. But not out of desire to strike up a conversation.

No, something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Wait." I said, coming to an abrupt halt. We were just at the end of the walkway to Buffy's home when the overpowering sent of vampire hit me. It was stronger than the scent in the library had been, and it smelled…_hungrier_ somehow.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked, looking around for signs of a threat.

"Vampire." I said, sniffing the air again. "It's strong."

"The vampire?" she asked.

"The scent." I frowned in concentration, worry beginning to take hold of me. "It's still here." I looked at her, and we both realized what that meant.

"Oh God." Buffy breathed, "Mom!"

As if on cue, we both whirled and bolted for the front door, and she burst through it so hard I thought I heard the doorframe crack as the door flung open.

"Mom!" she screamed, racing through the house at lightning speed. The scent was getting stronger.

"Towards the back!" I told her, presuming that area was the kitchen since we were now sprinting through the dining room.

Buffy put on a fresh burst of speed, and we both ran through the doorway to the kitchen, but we both stopped short when we came upon the sight I had been dreading to see.

Angel stood there, showing his true face, and holding the unconscious form of Buffy's mother. There was a bite mark in her neck, and it was fresh. The scent of blood still hung in the air, stirring the Essence.

_Food_

'No. She's hurt, not food.'

_Hungry_

'We'll feed later.'

_That's cold! She's…warm. Can you not feel it?_

She was warm, true, but I was too angry at the sight of Angel to even think about doing eating.

"You…" I growled, and something feral came out in my voice. I felt my shoulders tense, and I felt my fangs lower as I snarled again in rage.

"Wait-" he said, "This isn't-"

"How dare you!" I shrieked, lunging at him, forgetting for a moment that he was still holding Buffy's mother. He stumbled back in surprise at my attack, dropping her. Buffy was there in a flash, and caught her as I slammed into Angel, knocking him into the wall.

I grabbed him around his throat with both hands and spun, flinging him back the way we had come. I knew I had to get him off his feet if I wanted to get the advantage on him. He was a good head and shoulders taller than me, and out reached me as well, so I had to get in close to do any damage.

As soon as he hit the floor, I rushed him, throwing punches as fast as I could, and throwing in a kick to the ribs whenever I thought of it.

He couldn't protect everything at once, and for a moment I had the advantage over him. I got a few hits in; I felt skin break and heard a bone or two pop as he grunted and tried to block my swings.

Angel took me by surprise when he caught my foot the next time I tried to kick again. He twisted my foot, and I couldn't help but turn with it, losing my balance as I did so.

I hit the ground, but instead of trying to pull my foot out of his grip, I pushed it toward him when he pulled again, catching him off guard long enough for me to roll over and sit up. I lunged at him again, throwing in another snarl for good measure.

My head slammed into his face. He yelped in surprise and pain and fell backward, his head banging first on the cabinets, and then on the floor. I grabbed his head with both hands and slammed it on the floor again.

He groaned and reached up to push me off, so I slammed his head down again.

"Stop!" he begged, grabbing hold of my arms, but he didn't try to push me off.

I ignored him and started to slam his head down again, but he starting pleading again, talking as fast as he could before I could cut him off.

"It wasn't me! It wasn't me, I swear!" he babbled.

"You had her." I growled, trying as hard as I could to crush his skull. "You were _feeding_ from her. There's a bite mark!"

"Do I really look as though I've fed lately?" he demanded, grimacing in pain at the pressure I was putting on his skull.

What he said did give me pause. Like me, he had darker circles under his eyes, and what's more…he was a vampire. He should have been able to shake me off by now, even with me trying to crack the floor with his head.

He wasn't at peak performance, which meant he wasn't at his strongest. This meant he couldn't have fed recently, and certainly not within the past few minutes, otherwise he would have wiped the floor with me. He still would have been in a feeding frenzy and at his most powerful.

I frowned, uncertain, and then leaned closer and inhaled.

There was no scent of blood on his breath.

I pulled back and frowned, looking to Buffy, who was now standing over us, looking furious.

"He speaks true." I said reluctantly. "He didn't feed from her."

"Then he was about to." She retorted. "You saw him."

She had a point.

"No," Angel tried protesting, his voice weak and a bit slurred, "no, I-I wouldn't-"

Without warning, Buffy suddenly pushed me off of him, grabbed Angel by his shirt, hauled him to his feet, and all but dragged him out of the kitchen, through the living room, and threw him out of the front window.

I watched him hit the ground. Hard.

He groaned, and struggled to his feet, clutching the back of his head, where I saw very dark splotches of blood covering his scalp. He looked at us, and I snapped my fangs at him in warning while Buffy crossed her arms and lifted her chin.

"You're not welcome here." She declared, her voice shook a little, but she spoke determinedly, "You come near us and I'll kill you."

He stared at us, and I saw something akin to shame flit across his true face.

Buffy turned and left us.

I continued to stare at him.

"I swear I wouldn't have done it." He whispered.

"You best be gone, Angelus." I replied, "The Slayer makes no idle threat. And don't offer me false assurances." I swallowed and started to turn away, "For I too know what the lust for a fresh kill can do."

As I walked away, I heard him reluctantly turn and walk away as well. There was something so sad about that sound. It sounded like defeat.

I felt a strange pang of regret, but at the same time, I felt exhilarated at our victory.

It didn't last long, of course.

I found Buffy in the kitchen, the phone pressed against her ear as she called for an ambulance and knelt by her mother.

Her mother was starting to regain consciousness, so I quickly retracted my fangs and went to help, ignoring the excited hisses the Essence was filling my head with.

When she saw me come in, she handed me the phone.

"Call Giles." She ordered. I nodded and took the phone from her. I had just begun dialing when caught a whiff of two people coming.

"Xander and Willow are here." I informed her, pausing. She ignored me, or otherwise was too preoccupied to hear, so I finished dialing.

"Hey, Buffy!" Xander called as he mounted the porch.

"We just came by to-" Willow began, but by that time they both had entered the kitchen and stopped dead still when they saw the scene before them.

"What happened?" they both demanded.

"Angel." Buffy answered grimly.

"Or someone he knows." I offered. "Nearly him, though."

"Hello?" Giles' voice on the other end of the line had a calming effect on my racing mind and hungering body that was still having fits at being denied the fresh, warm blood it could feel nearby.

"Rupert," I breathed in relief, "It is I."

"Yes, Margery, what's wrong?" he asked, evidently picking up o something in my voice.

"There's been an attack at Buffy's home," I explained, "her mother's hurt. Bitten. We've called an ambulance but we thought you should be notified."

"Oh my God." He breathed, "Is she-"

"She'll live." I answered. "She's lost a good deal of blood, but not enough to prove fatal."

"All right, I'll meet you at the hospital. Do you know if the attack was…Angel?"

"I have reason to believe it wasn't, but we had a confrontation nevertheless." I answered, "But…it doesn't look good for him. I'll explain all at the hospital."

"Of course, I'll be there at once."

I hung up and turned back to the children.

Xander and Willow hovered, frightened and not knowing what else to do. Buffy cradled her mother's head in her lap, not acknowledging anything else.

I have to confess, the sing of such love and devotion smote my heart, but I had to get Xander and Willow doing something before they started breaking down as well.

"You two," I said, snapping them out of their thoughts, "go and find something to clean and dress the wound with."

They nodded and immediately disappeared, happy to be doing something, while I stayed standing there, staring at Buffy. She didn't even seem to know I was there, or that the two younglings had left the room.

I could do no more here, so I cleared my throat and moved towards the door.

"I'll…I'll show the medical team where to come." I told her, and she gave a slight nod to show she had heard me.

"And to try and distract them from the broken window." I muttered under my breath as I strode from the room.

I wouldn't want to be Buffy trying to explain that one.


	20. Part 2 - Chapter 6: Showdown with Angel

I waited outside the room they'd moved Buffy's mother to, pacing endlessly, my arms wrapped around myself.

I couldn't stop thinking about Angel. About the attack. There was a piece missing. He hadn't been the one to attack Buffy's mother, of that I was almost certain. But his presence, and the way he'd looked…it was all very damning.

But what was I overlooking?

Had Angel been working for the Master all along, and had he been sent to hurt Buffy by killing her mother?

Or was this…what, exactly? What else could it be?

My musings were interrupted when I got the welcome scent of tweed, tea, ancient pages, and aged leather and ink.

'Giles.' I thought with a sigh of relief. I turned and quickly walked towards the scent, and soon spotted him, looking around for the room number. I waved my hand at him and he hurried towards me, coat flapping as he ran.

"Margery," he said as he swept up to me and grasped my arms, "are you hurt?"

I shook my head.

"Angel was…not at his strongest." I answered, and looked up at him with a frown, "I'm missing something, Giles. There's a piece to this bizarre puzzle yet veiled to me. This whole thing just doesn't make sense."

He answered my frown with a puzzled one of his own.

"How do you mean?" he asked, "I know you said you don't believe he's responsible for the attack, but…you fought him, didn't you? He must have been there?"

I nodded, and pulled away from him so I could run my hands over my face in agitation, trying to put everything together in my mind.

"He was, he was, and I thought he _had_ been responsible." I answered, starting to pace again while he watched me over his spectacles.

"I mean, he was right there," I answered, "he had her, he was holding her, and she was unconscious, with a bite mark upon her neck. His true nature was showing, and he was growling, but…I beat him in that fight, Giles. I shouldn't have been able to."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm only partially as strong as a vampire, and while I can hold my own in a fight, against such a proficient killer such as Angelus, he should have been able to defeat me easily, and that should be doubly true if he had just fed from a fresh food source."

I saw Giles grimace at my calling Buffy's mother a food source.

"Apologies," I murmured, "just putting it in perspective."

"It's fine, continue." He answered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Well, he didn't look or smell or act as though he'd just been feeding. He was slow, too slow, and weaker than I'd expected. There was no blood on his breath, and he would have flown into a rage at being interrupted during a kill had he been feeding when we came in, but he denied his involvement instead and pleaded for mercy."

I shook my head again and ran a hand through my long black hair.

"It doesn't compute." I told him. "It just doesn't make sense."

"Then what do you think happened?" he asked.

I shrugged helplessly and looked at him.

"The more I try and figure out what's happening with Angelus, the more I seem to make things worse," I told him, "so I'm rather fearful to even hazard a guess at this point."

Giles sighed and rubbed his forehead agitatedly.

"I wish just once we could have something go our way." He muttered. I nodded in agreement, feeling my shoulders slump in defeat.

Ever the comforter, Giles put his hand on my shoulder and gave it an encouraging pat.

"For now," he said, "we'll continue to think on it." He assured me, then nodded to the door I'd been standing, or rather, pacing, in front of.

"Is Mrs. Summers in there?" he asked. I nodded and motioned for him to follow me as I opened the door and stepped inside.

Mrs. Summers looked a little pale, but she was awake, and talkative. Or at least a little more talkative than she had been.

They were pumping more blood back into her, and I had to sternly remind myself not to look at the bag. The Essence was already having an excited enough time taking in all of the scents of blood, pain, and weak prey.

As we entered, I heard her retelling the details of her 'fall' to Buffy, Xander, and Willow, though she seemed bewildered as to why the doctor thought she'd accidentally jabbed her neck with a barbecue fork, since they didn't own one.

Thankfully she was prevented from thinking too deeply on this when she noticed we'd come in.

"Oh hello, Margery," she smiled at me, "how nice of you to come."

"Mrs. Summers," I bowed slightly to her, "I do hope you're feeling better now."

Then her eyes flitted to Giles and she frowned slightly.

"Are…you the doctor?" she asked, sounding a little dazed, still.

"Oh, uh, no, Mom this is Mr. Giles." Buffy explained. A look of recognition dawned on Mrs. Summers face and she leaned back with a graceful smile.

"The librarian from your school!" she nodded, then flushed in embarrassment. "What's he doing here?"

"Uh, I just came to…pay my respects," Giles interjected, stepping forward, "and wish you a speedy recovery."

Mrs. Summers laughed softly.

"Boy, the teachers really do care in this town." She murmured, beaming at Giles, then Buffy.

'Especially when vampires are involved.' I thought wryly.

"Get some rest, now." Buffy ordered her mother gently, planting a kiss on her pale cheek. Her mother nodded tiredly, but managed to give us a weak wave as we followed Buffy back out into the hallway.

There was a long moment of silence, and no one knew exactly where to look. Xander kept rubbing the back of his neck and glancing at Buffy while Willow anxiously played with the hem of her shirt and looked at me; Giles stared at the floor and I tried to look at anything that would distract me from the scents bombarding me.

So mostly I was looking at the florescent lights with squinted eyes.

"She's going to be okay." Buffy finally said, breaking the silence. I looked at her then. "They gave her some iron since her blood count was…a-a little…" her voice trailed off.

"A little low." Giles supplied gently. "It presents itself like mild anemia, you were lucky you got to her as soon as you did." He looked at both me and Buffy then.

I didn't feel very comforted by that statement, as well intentioned as it was.

Buffy felt the same way.

"Lucky? Stupid." She corrected.

"Buff, it's not your fault." Xander told her.

"No?" she answered, "I invited him into my home, even after I knew who he was, what he was, and I didn't do anything about it because I had feelings for him, because I cared about him."

"If the fault lies with anyone, it's me." I told her, looking her dead in the eye.

"If I'd just been truthful with you in the first place, we might have been able to avoid this whole thing. If you're going to place the blame with anyone, don't place it upon your own shoulders. It's mine. I'm sorry."

Buffy paused, but then shook her head sadly.

"I started caring about him before you even saw him," she replied, "It might not have made a difference anyway."

"If you care about somebody," Willow broke in, "you _care _about them," she glanced at Xander, "you can't just change that by-"

"Killing him?" Buffy finished for her, "Maybe not. But it's a start."

She started to stride away from us, so I followed. Whatever she was planning, I needed to help her with it. I owed her and her mother that much.

"We'll keep an eye on your mom." Xander called after us as we walked. Giles hurried after us, trying to stop Buffy.

When she didn't stop at the sound of his hurried footsteps he called her.

"Buffy!" he snapped. She whirled on him, eyes flashing with determination and anger.

"You can't stop me." She hissed. "The Three found me near the Bronze, so did he. He lives nearby, and I have the perfect sniffer-dog to help track him down." She glanced back at me, "Right, Bloodhound?"

I dipped my head.

"My services are at your disposal." I replied. Giles shot me a disapproving look, which, I must confess, hurt a little. I didn't want to disappoint him, but I wasn't about to let Buffy go off alone.

"Listen to me," he begged, turning back to Buffy, "he is no ordinary vampire. There is such a thing. Now he knows you, he's faced the Three, I think this is going to take more than a simple stake." Buffy wasn't fazed at all.

"So do I." she answered. "So I'm making a supply run." She looked back at me again.

"Dibs on the crossbow." She said.

We armed ourselves with the weapons Giles kept in the library. As Buffy had already claimed, she got the crossbow while I took several stakes, a bottle of holy water, and a longer stake that I think had been part of a spear.

I briefly considered taking a quarter staff, but decided not to since if we were going to confront him in his own lair, there would be close quarters in fighting and I might not have enough room to maneuver it correctly.

We first visited the Bronze, but I didn't smell anything there other than LOTS of humans, hormones, alcohol, and cigarette smoke, so we moved further downwind, closer to where the Three had attacked Buffy.

"Here." She said, coming to a halt, "He came from over here." She walked over to a chain-link fence and then turned to me in expectation.

"All right," I said, walking over to it, "just give me a moment, if the scent's faded it might take me a bit to find it again."

"Angel's got nothing but time," she answered, "go ahead."

I nodded, and closed my eyes, inhaling as deeply as I could.

Several hundred scents filled my head, and I started sorting through them.

Most of them were human, of course. Scents of urine, more alcohol, some vomit, refuse, stale pizza, molded hamburger, etc.

The decay scent here was more from trash than anything else, but buried in amongst that I could just faintly sense an older, more feral scent of decay. Definitely vampire, and hopefully Angel's scent, otherwise we'd spend half the night hunting down some random creature of the night.

Once I found the scent I was looking for, I honed in on it and pushed the others aside.

I had it, then.

"The game is afoot." I said, smiling as I opened my eyes and turned to Buffy. She lifted the crossbow determinedly and nodded.

I started following the trail, navigating through empty streets and through dingy, darkened alleyways, quickening my pace as the scent grew stronger.

He'd made a mistake: he used the same path home every time, so his scent was getting stronger by the second.

I stopped when I came to an old warehouse that looked like it dated from the early 1800's.

"Here." I said, looking at the boarded up doors and windows. Buffy stepped up beside me, and wordlessly moved towards a ladder I hadn't noticed. There was nothing left for me to do but follow her up and into the warehouse.

I was not a little anxious entering Angel's lair.

He must have known retaliation would be in store for tonight's stunt. After all, he'd been hunted before, so he would know full well that Buffy would be coming for him. We could be walking into a trap, and I said as much to Buffy.

"Good." She answered, "That way we don't have to try and find him all night."

Much to my surprise, however, once we were in, we weren't immediately set upon by Angel, or any other vampire for that matter.

That just made me more anxious, and I think Buffy started to become a tad more fearful as well.

We started moving through the building, trying to keep to what little light the streetlamps offered.

Buffy let me take the lead so I could follow the scent, but as we were moving down a hallway, and sensed it much more strongly from behind us and whirled around, as did Buffy. We were just in time to watch a dark shadow shift and then disappear into the rest of the darkness around us.

"I know you're there." Buffy said, lifting her crossbow, "And I know what you are."

"Do you?" Angel's voice came to us from the darkness, but it echoed off the walls and through the empty rooms to where neither of us could pinpoint where it was coming from.

"I'm just an animal, right?" he continued.

"You're not an animal." Buffy answered, "Animals I like."

"So I'm just a monster, then?" he asked, "Is that why you brought one with you? Using a monster to find a monster?"

I felt a growl burn in my throat at that, but I managed to smother it.

He wasn't wrong, after all.

Suddenly another growl came from the shadows and Angel stepped into the dim circle of light coming in through one of the windows that wasn't boarded up.

His true face was showing again, and he growled at us.

"Let's get it done." He said.

Angel broke into a sprint, then.

At first I thought he was coming right at us, and I started to move to meet him, but at the same time tried to keep out of Buffy's line of fire.

He altered course at the last second, and instead jumped on top of an old table, and then leapt up and grabbed hold of the metal rafters and swung himself up and out of sight, while Buffy loosed an arrow that missed.

She quickly reloaded and moved to the spot underneath where he had disappeared while I circled, trying to spot where he had moved to.

A blur out of the corner of my eye alerted me to his presence and I snarled a warning before springing over a knocked over oil drum and sprinting for Angel as he swung down to kick at Buffy's exposed back.

I knocked one leg away as he kicked out, but caught his left boot in my jaw. He hit hard enough to knock me over, but by that time Buffy had turned around and started to take aim again, but he knocked the crossbow aside and sent it skittering across the floor.

She spun with the momentum, and kicked at him, catching him in the chest and knocking him back against the wall.

Buffy dove for the crossbow, snatched it up, and flipped over on her back before he could recover and he froze when he saw she had the drop on him.

I smiled in grim satisfaction and got to my feet, growling at him.

They stared at each other, and she hesitated. I felt my stomach drop, and it only got worse when Angel changed his face back into the one Buffy knew and loved. It was a dirty trick, but effective.

"Come on," he said, "don't go soft on me now."

The crossbow _twanged_ and I flinched, but the arrow hit the wall a good six inches away from Angel's face.

"A little wide." He commented.

"Buffy?" I queried, glancing at her, "Don't be fooled by his trickery."

"I want answers." She snapped at me, getting to her feet.

"Why?" Buffy addressed Angel, "Why didn't you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you and then…" she hesitated, her emotions running high, but she continued.

"I've killed a lot of vampires," she informed him, "Never hated one before."

Angel smirked a sad, knowing smirk and nodded.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" he asked, "Feels simple?" He looked at me, as if to see if I agreed.

"You know, don't you?" he asked, "How easy it is to kill when you feel it's justified? When you feel what you're doing is right? That you have the right? That you're the one with the power?"

I swallowed.

Yes, I knew. But I wasn't going to tell him that.

"I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family!" Buffy yelled. Angel turned back to her. He looked…tired.

"Why not?" he asked, "I killed mine."

He looked at me again and lifted an eyebrow.

"Did you?" he asked.

"Didn't have to or need to." I answered. Angelus shrugged.

"I killed their friends," he continued, alternating between looking at me and Buffy, "and their friends' children. For years I offered an ugly death to everyone I met. And I did it with a song in my heart."

He flashed me a mirthless grin.

"Remember how good it feels to hold that much power over these weaklings?" he asked.

"I only ever wanted to be left alone." I snapped at him, "I'm not like you or your kind."

He cocked his head.

"Aren't you one of us?" he asked.

"Half." I said, lifting my chin.

"That explains the smell, then." He said with a shrug, "But I know that look in your eye," he continued, "you've tested how far you can go with what you can do. You enjoyed it."

"Be quiet." I warned him.

Buffy interrupted us.

"What changed?" she asked, "Why'd you stop?"

"Found a girl about your age," he answered promptly, "beautiful. Dumb as a post. But a favorite among her clan."

"Her clan?" Buffy asked.

"Romani." He answered.

"Gypsies." I murmured, frowning slightly. The wheels in my head were turning, and I thought I could guess where his tale was traveling. But I didn't think what he was suggesting was possible. No human could be strong enough to do that to a vampire, surely?

"The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me," he continued. Ah, more than one human. That was slightly more plausible.

"They restored my soul." Angel finished.

I felt my eyes widen.

A vampire with a soul.

Miracles do exist.

"What, they were all out of boils?" Buffy asked.

"When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't take your soul." He explained, "That's gone. No conscience, no remorse. It's an easy way to live."

_See? I could make life sweet and free again_

'Never again.'

_But we were so powerful…_

'It was a lie. We were no more powerful, only more ruthless.'

"You've no idea what it's like," Angel continued, "to do the things I've done, and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day."

He turned to look at me again.

"I'd love to hear why you quit." He said.

"We're not here to discuss me, Angelus." I reminded him.

"So you decided to start with my mom?" she asked.

"I never bit her." He answered, "You're Halfling friend over there can vouch for that, remember?" He shook his head in exasperation. "I wanted to kill you tonight," he said.

To my surprise, Buffy hesitated, then laid down the crossbow and walked closer to him. She paused, then tilted her head, exposing the tender, soft part of her neck to Angel. The soft glow of the light from outside illuminated her flesh, and even from where I was standing I could see her pulse throbbing.

"Go ahead." She breathed.

"Slayer, no!" I gasped, moving to get between them, but she lifted her hand for me to stop.

I hesitated, but my grip on my weapon tightened, ready to fling it at Angelus should he try anything.

Buffy kept her eyes on Angel the whole time.

"Not as easy as it looks." She told him.

He smirked at her, a playful, amused look dancing in his eyes.

"Sure it is." A voice interrupted. They both whipped their heads around and I looked up to see the female vampire who'd turned Jesse striding towards us.

I felt a hot flash of rage race up my spine and my fangs snapped down.

I would never forgive her for doing what she did to that poor boy.

Never.

"You," I growled, moving towards her, "you whore. What do you think you're doing here?"

"I wasn't talking to you, pest," she hissed at me, and locked eyes on Buffy. "You know what the saddest thing in the world is?" she asked, stepping slowly towards her.

"Bad hair on top of that outfit?" Buffy guessed. I smirked.

"To love someone who used to love you." She replied. My smirk faltered. I knew what that was like, too.

I won't bore you with the details now, but suffice it to say my attempts at relationships never end well. The longest one lasted was a year. It just never felt right to try and be with someone when I knew I'd have to leave them all too soon.

Buffy glanced between Darla and Angel.

"You two were involved?" she asked.

"For several generations." The vampire answered.

"Well," Buffy said with a shrug, "if you've been around since Columbus like Marge over here, then you're bound to pile up a few exes."

Darla glanced at me.

"Columbus?" she asked.

"Before, actually," I answered, "just before the Ottoman Wars."

Her eyes widened a little at that. I'm beginning to think I can stagger an enemy just by telling them how old I am. Why should I even bother fighting?

"You are older than him, right?" Buffy continued, keeping her eyes on Darla. "Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes."

"I made him." Darla answered, "There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there, Angelus?" When he didn't answer, she continued, "You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's Court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of _her._ You love someone who hates us. You're sick."

"Says the blood-sucking creature to another blood-sucking creature." I muttered, loud enough for her to hear. I may be one too, but I can't help but call out hypocrisy when I see it. And I was getting rather bored with Darla's ramblings.

She chose to ignore me.

"You'll always be sick," she continued, "And you'll always remember what it's like to watch her die." She looked at Buffy then, and I moved closer to her and Angel, feeling the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I sensed a threat.

"You don't think I came alone, did you?" she asked.

"I know I didn't." Buffy answered, and kicked the crossbow back up into her hands and pointed it at Darla.

"Scary." Darla chuckled, and then whipped out a pair of pistols. "Scarier." She said, and shot Angel in the shoulder.

He yelped in pain and fell against the wall, and then she looked at me.

"Nice stick," she laughed, "I know bullets can't kill vampires, but what about Halflings?"

She shot at both Buffy and me, and we both dodged out of the way, rolling opposite directions. I slid underneath a table and laid still, watching. Buffy leapt over another table, while Darla continued to fire at her.

Buffy was the main target, so that gave me an advantage.

I clutched my stake and started to crawl to the downed oil drum, hoping to get close enough to assist.

Angel was writing in pain on the floor, so he was out of commission, so it was just me and the Slayer against a woman scorned.

You know the saying, I won't repeat.

Darla was taunting Buffy as she approached, talking about what parts of Buffy she was going to shoot first.

I heard the crossbow fire and I heard Darla grunt, and for a moment I thought it was over already, but then Darla laughed.

"Close," she commended, "but no heart."

I growled and dodged behind a pillar. I was getting closer, but still not close enough. And then I heard something up above us shuffling around, but Darla hadn't spotted it. I looked up, and through the darkness I saw the children and Giles peering over the banner of the staircase at us.

I was both relieved and worried. Worried because if Darla knew they were there, they would be a target for her, but relieved because we had assistance.

"Buffy it wasn't Angel who attacked your mom, it was Darla!" Willow suddenly shouted. I groaned inwardly as Darla immediately swung around and started firing up at my friends.

"Stop!" I screamed, rushing her in a blind fury. The thought of her harming one of them was enough to make me panic, otherwise I would have realized what a foolish thing I was doing, but it was too late now.

I nearly reached her before she realized what was happening, but nearly was not enough. She whipped a gun in my direction and fired, and I felt something slam into my shoulder. It was a small caliber gun, but at such a close distance it still spun me, and I went down, but not before I got out the bottle of holy water I'd brought.

When I hit the ground I launched it at her before she had a chance to fire again, and it crashed into her arm.

She shrieked in pain as the holy water bit into her skin and dropped one of her guns. She was so angry she didn't even think to use the other gun, she just slammed her foot into my face. Stars flashed across my vision, and then they were swallowed by darkness as my head slammed into the ground.

I don't know for how long I was out, but it must have not been too long, because when I opened my eyes again, I realized someone, presumably one of our three rescuers, had found the control box to the lights and tampered with it because a dizzying flash of lights was going off all around me.

This did not help my already pounding head.

I groaned at the burning sensation in my shoulder, but struggled to roll into a sitting position.

Darla was still shooting, and I heard glass shattering.

'No,' I thought, struggling to get to my feet, 'no, please, don't.'

My visions swam and I nearly went down again, but I forced myself to stumble towards Darla. I'd lost my larger stake when I fell, but I was fumbling for another one in my pocket. She'd hear me coming before I got to her, of course, but I had to buy Buffy some time.

"Come on, Buffy," I heard her taunt, "take it like a man."

I gritted my teeth and lifted my arm to throw my stake, when suddenly Angel lunged at Darla, one of Buffy's arrows in his hand, and he plunged it straight through Darla's back and into her heart.

Her back arched and she fired blindly at the ceiling as she sagged and sank.

"Angel?" I heard her ask in confusion, and then she fell and disintegrated.

Buffy and Angel stared at each other while I sagged against another pillar, my head swimming and pounding so hard from the kick I'd gotten that I could barely see straight, but I could see enough to watch Angel slowly turn and walk away, while Buffy stared after him, unmoving.

It was over. That was all that was important. It was over, finally.

The darkness started overtake me again, and without really realizing it, I somehow ended up sprawled face-down on the ground.

"Margery!" I heard Giles and Willow yell in unison, while Xander shouted, "Marge!" and Buffy wordlessly hurried over.

"She got shot." Willow said, her words coming quick, scared pants. "I saw it, she got shot. Shoulder, I think."

"We should get her to the hospital." I heard Giles say, but he sounded farther away now.

"N-No." I managed to breathe, "J-Just…blood." I blurted. "Get me blood."

"Done." Buffy said, already up and moving, while Giles rolled me over as carefully as he could and started to slide his arms underneath my body.

"I'll take her to my place," he told Buffy, "please hurry."

For a moment I thought I was floating, but then realized Giles had stood up and had me cradled against him like a baby. I tried to look at him, I tried to say I'd be all right, but before I could do any of those things, I passed out.

And that's why I'll never go into battle on an empty stomach ever again.

_ (Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading! Sorry if there's a ton of typos in this one but, again, I wrote this pretty late at night...like...two a.m. so sorry if there's something ludicrously wrong! But I really appreciate you guys reading this. I'm done yet, since there's an epilogue coming soon, and then there's going to be a third installment...eventually. But be sure and let me know how you're liking it so far! Thanks!)_


	21. Part 2 - Epilogue

Epilogue to part Two

"Ah, the post-fumigation party." Xander sighed.

The four of us (Xander, Willow, Buffy and myself) moved slowly through the ever-dense crowd in the Bronze of youthful figures thrashing about to loud noises called 'music'.

The loud noise didn't hurt my head as much as I had thought it would, thankfully. But I still couldn't help but wince as whoever was playing the guitar made it shriek like some poor little creature in agony.

"Okay," Buffy said, "so what's how's this different from the pre-fumigation party?" she asked.

I only hoped it didn't involve smashing the remaining roaches for free drinks again.

"Much hardier cockroaches." Xander answered. He had a cheeky smile on his face.

I chuckled and unconsciously rubbed my injured shoulder.

"You okay, Margery?" Willow asked, seeing me rubbing the whole in my jacket. I quickly withdrew my hand and nodded with a smile of reassurance.

"Never better." I told her.

"Does it still hurt?"

"It's just a dull ache. The hole is completely closed and the bullet got pushed out during the healing process, so I'm fine." I answered.

I'd only been at Giles' home for maybe half an hour before Buffy returned with a blood pack she managed to procure from the hospital. I knew it went against all of what she'd been taught to do that, so the fact that she did it just to heal me…well, it meant a great deal.

Giles was the one who had the brilliant idea to squeeze it into a mug and microwave it, and then, since I was still unconscious, Willow spoon-fed me the warmed-up blood while Xander held my head up.

After about the third taste of actually warm blood I woke up and quickly downed the whole thing.

The healing process took place immediately, as my head stopped throbbing and soon afterward the bullet was pushed out.

By the next morning the hole was nearly closed, and that evening, which was when we went to the Bronze, it was gone completely.

I'd never thought of warming up the blood to drink it. You may think me rather thick to have never thought of it, but keep in mind most of the places I call home don't have electricity, and I've never owned a microwave in my entire life.

In the future, I'd have to reconsider my living quarters, perhaps.

I smiled at my young companions and dipped my head.

"Thank you all for your assistance," I said, "I'm not sure my recovery would have been as swift had you not been there to help."

"Hey, it's the least we could do." Willow murmured with her lovely, soft smile.

"Yeah, especially you played the knight in shining armor," Xander quipped, "coming to our defense." He smiled mischievously. "You know she missed us by a mile, right?"

"I was more worried about ricochets." I answered, "The bullet could have hit a metal rafter and struck anyone. I wasn't going to risk that."

"Well, thanks for having my back." Buffy said.

I shrugged and dipped my head again.

"It's the least I could do." I told her sincerely.

"So," Willow said, turning to Buffy, "no word from Angel?"

Buffy shook her head sadly, but put on a brave face nonetheless.

"Nah." She said, "In a way though, I feel like he's still watching me. Watching over me."

I smirked as a now familiar scent wafted its way toward me, and a figure moved into view ahead of us. I lifted my head and looked at Angel.

He looked not unlike a shy, bashful little boy. He had his hands embedded in his pockets, and he kept his head hanging low, but his eyes fixed on Buffy in a hopeful, pleading gaze. She hadn't noticed him yet.

I briefly thought about steering her away, but…Angel had saved Buffy last night, and, by extension, me and my little companions.

I owed him a little benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps he really did have honorable intentions?

And he had a soul, so…I suppose I couldn't judge him as harshly as I could other fellow-monsters. The group had accepted me, after all, and I had a demon in me too. Who was I to deny him a potential place with us? With Buffy?

And besides that, Buffy was her own person. I shouldn't try and make her decisions for her. Especially in matters of the heart. I couldn't control her feelings, and…I remembered when someone had tried to make those kind of decisions for me as well. I knew how much that could hurt.

"I believe someone awaits you." I murmured to Buffy. She looked sharply at me, and I nodded to Angel.

She turned, and I saw her stiffen slightly, but she gave an excited intake of breath. And then in a flash she forced herself to relax and appear indifferent. She gave us a look that didn't do anything to veil her excitement, and then she started to move away from us.

As she did, the music changed and became a soft, slow waltz.

How very well timed.

"Oh boy," Xander moaned, watching her leave. He lifted his chin determinedly and shook his finger at Buffy as she joined Angel.

"I don't need to watch," he said, "I don't. Because…I'm not threatened. I'm just going to look _this_ way." He turned around and faced the other way. Willow and I rolled our eyes at each other.

Oh, adolescent boys. Your hormones are God.

I glanced back to watch Buffy and Angel. They were dancing together. Slowly, with ease. It was…rather sweet, actually.

They murmured to each other, no doubt discussing where to go from here. I saw Angel's body subtly adapting to the situation, and I knew what was going to happen next, so I averted my eyes to give them some privacy.

"You'll need a new jacket." Willow said when I turned away.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because there's a pretty obvious bullet hole in it." Xander said, an implied 'Duh' in his voice.

I shrugged. I could sew it up, if need be. Even though I was rather lacking in my needlework skills.

"Also your shirt probably has one in it, too." Willow pointed at. "And…you kind of where the same two things all the time. Don't you want to have a little variety?"

"Not especially." I answered slowly, but I had a feeling I wasn't going to argue my way out of this one.

"We'll look for you a little something else," she assured me, "after school tomorrow."

"That's really not necessary-"

"We'll go for books afterwards." She interrupted me.

I stopped short and narrowed my eyes at her.

"You vixen." I hissed playfully. "Bribing me with books. How cruel."

She laughed happily and gave me a nudge.

"It'll be fun, you'll see." She told me.

Xander and Willow started arguing about how shopping was or was not fun, while I planted myself on a seat and chanced one last look back at Buffy.

As expected, she and Angel were kissing.

I smiled a little and lowered my eyes, remembering my last kiss…a whole lifetime ago it felt like. No point in dwelling on what's past, but still…it was a lonely feeling.

But there were far more important things to think about now.

The Master, for one thing. Darla had been under his employ, and if she was in the Master's Court, then that clearly meant that she had been a favorite, and probably an important asset to him and his plans. Her death was quite a blow, which was cause for celebration, but it also meant there would be retribution for it.

We would have to be doubly cautious now. As ever.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my head, but came out of my reverie when I saw Willow and Xander still playfully arguing, and Buffy and Angel still dancing.

There would be troubles ahead, certainly. Perhaps in the next few hours, even. But for now, we had survived, we had won, and for the time being, that was enough.


	22. Part 3 - Chapter 1: The Dread Machines

I believe I've mentioned before that I have a healthy respect for computers. I'm impressed by what they can do, and how they keep evolving. Not thirty years before, the simplest computer had taken up an entire room, and now each school had at least a dozen in a classroom. Incredible.

I'm not exactly prolific when it comes to using them, mind, but I'm more than willing to learn.

Poor Giles on the other hand, was less than thrilled with them, so when he heard that all of the books were to be scanned into the library's computer system, he was rather upset. In fact he spent a good three hours one night venting about how computers would be the death of books. I disagreed, and we nearly argued until I realized he was just giving voice to his own misgivings, so I let him.

On the day they were all meant to be scanned, he enlisted my help, but I wasn't the only one there to lend aid.

The new computer science teacher was there, Jenny Calender, as well as Buffy, another student named Dave who kept giving me strange looks when he thought I wasn't looking; Xander, a sullen looking boy named Fritz, and of course, Willow.

Miss Calendar and Dave were there to help scan the books in.

Poor Giles looked harried and distraught at the mess we were making. Not to mention he looked tired and defeated. I made a mental note to treat him to a giant pot of tea later on and let him complain and argue about the evils of the computer age all he wanted, the poor dear.

I had just set down a massive stack of books on the floor when I saw Buffy set down an ancient looking wooden box on the table and pulled out a large tome, which was covered in dust. She blew it off and arched an eyebrow.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning over.

"A…really weird book." She answered, showing me the cover. It had a strange engraving on it. A creature that looked not unlike a space alien I had seen in a film one time, only this one had horns and tiny red spots for eyes.

"A history, perhaps?" I whispered to Buffy. A history not open to the public, no doubt.

"Oh, I haven't had a chance to go through the new arrivals," Giles said, taking off his glasses to clean them for what must have been the thousandth time. "Just, set it over there." He motioned across the room and Buffy nodded.

"Cool." She said, "Willow pile."

"Oh, I'll get it." The lad, Dave said, getting up. He was a quiet boy, but he seemed nice.

"Thanks Dave." Buffy beamed at him, making him blush. Buffy just has that affect on boys. Me? They either ignore me or look very uncomfortable.

Did I mention I find it incredibly irritating to not be able to see myself in a mirror? I never know if I have something on my face or not.

"After I've examined it you can…uh…sk-skim it." He said.

"Scan it, Rupert," Ms. Calendar corrected him, "it's _scan_ it."

Giles gave her a withering look that I couldn't help but smile at. The poor man was about to snap any moment now, and Ms. Calendar wasn't helping.

"Of course." He said, his tone dry and condescending.

Ms. Calendar matched him in condescension.

"Oh, I know our ways are strange to you," she said with a bright smile, "but soon you will join us in the 20th century, with three years to spare!"

Giles stepped up to the table, locking eyes on her, he straightened and looked as though he was preparing himself for battle. I paused in my sorting to watch. This whole situation was just too ludicrous. I had been on the verge of bursting into laughter all day, and this was only another temptation.

"Miss Calendar," he said crisply, "I'm sure your computer science class if fascinating, but I happen to believe one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the…uh…idiot box." He motioned at me, "There's an example. She doesn't even have electricity."

Miss Calendar raised an eyebrow at me and I hurriedly laughed and dismissed the comment with a wave of my hand.

"He's…joking…" I murmured, hurriedly returning to the books I was trying to organize. Her face flickered with uncertainty, but she turned back to Giles anyway.

"The 'idiot box' is TV," she explained, and I noticed Fritz was looking at Giles as though he wanted to squash him beneath his feet, "This is the good box."

"I still prefer a good book." Giles retorted. "And I know I'm not the only one."

"You're not, Mr. Giles." I answered, "Though these machines do have their advantages and uses, of course. But the format of the book is not to be discarded either."

Ms. Calendar made a sad moaning sound and came around the table. Much to my astonishment she pulled me into a consoling embrace and patted my head in an exaggerated manner, like a mother comforting a child.

"There, there," she said in mocking tone, "did the bad man brainwash you? It's okay, it'll be all right."

"The printed page is obsolete." Fritz suddenly interrupted us, rather loudly. Ms. Calendar pulled away and looked at him in surprise, while everyone else paused to look at him.

"Information isn't bound up anymore," he continued, getting out of his seat and glowering at Giles. Instinctively I moved closer to him, feeling my back tense in anticipation; "It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive."

He looked around in disdain and then marched off.

I looked at Buffy in bewilderment.

"What on earth does 'jacked in' mean?" I whispered, "Where do you people keep contriving these odd terminologies? They don't make any sense!"

Buffy shrugged helplessly while Ms. Calendar rolled her eyes at Fritz's retreating back.

"Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like we're crazy." She commented. At least she wasn't oblivious to how bizarre the boy had been acting. Giles shook his head in despair and started moving books around again, while Ms. Calendar hurried to make amends.

"Uh, Fritz comes on a little strong," she said, "But, he does have a point."

I raised my hand.

"I'm sorry but I just can't believe that the only reality is virtual." I said.

"I didn't say he was right," Ms. Calendar pointed out, "only that he had a point." I tilted my head and crossed my arms.

She was confusing little girl, I must say.

"You know," she continued, addressing Giles, "in the last two years more email was sent than regular mail." Giles grunted noncommittally, but that didn't deter her. "More digitized information went across phone lines than conversations." She continued.

"That is a fact I regard with…genuine horror." Giles answered. Ms. Calendar nodded in acceptance.

"I bet it is." She murmured. I couldn't help it, I laughed, but managed to change it into a cough before Giles noticed.

"All right guys," she said, looking at us, "let's wrap it up for today, okay?"

"I've just got a few more, I'll hang for a bit." Willow said. I paused as I set down my stack of books and eyed her. Was it my imagination, or was there some form of…excitement, lurking behind those big brown eyes of hers?

I tilted my head, but she didn't look at me, so I couldn't catch her eye to ask her what she was up to.

"Cool, thanks." Ms. Calendar said.

"Xander, do you want to stay and help me?" Willow asked.

Ah, that would explain it. She was hoping for some alone time with Xander. Well, bless the dear heart, I wished her the best of luck.

Xander snorted.

"You kidding?" he asked.

I guess I didn't wish hard enough.

"Yes, it was a joke I made up." Willow answered, hiding the disappointment on her face very quickly. Bless her poor soul. I wanted to smack Xander. Couldn't he see what he was doing to the poor girl?

"Willow I love you," he said, "but bye!" He elongated the vowel sound and hastily exited the library, all but running from the room.

I gave a huff of exasperation and looked at Willow. She met my eyes with a sad look and I made a throttling motion with my hands that made her laugh.

"I'm just going to stay and clean up a little," Giles said, picking up a few more books, "I'll uh, be back in the Middle Ages." He pointed at the section as he started walking towards it. Ms. Calendar smirked and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Did you ever leave?" she asked.

He stopped short and turned to give her a scathing look. She ignored it with a smirk and turned to gather her things. I mirrored Giles' look and then gave him a sympathetic shrug.

"I'll join you in a moment, Mr. Giles." I told him.

"Oh?" Ms. Calendar said, "Won't your parents worry about you staying late at school? I wouldn't want them to think you're in trouble."

"They won't even notice." I assured her. "I don't usually go straight home from school, in any case." She shrugged and gave me an odd sort of salute, and then left.

I followed Giles up to the Middle Ages section and grabbed up a few books from off the floor and started looking for where to put them. Giles' back was rigid with tension, and he was scanning far too quickly, so he wasn't finding the right place as quickly as he wanted. I could hear him grumbling under his breath.

"She's a bit unprofessional, I find." I told him, breaking the ice. He groaned and turned to me with a tired, exasperated expression.

"I swear, Margery," he said, rubbing his head, "if I have to have one more argument, or have computer mumbo jumbo shoved down my throat I'm going to end up killing the woman. I'm so tired of having the same discussion over, and over, and over again. It's so tedious!"

I nodded patiently. He gave a huge exhale of air and I watched his shoulders slump.

"Feel better now, Rupert?" I asked. He gave a mirthless chuckle and nodded.

"A little." He said, "But I need aspirin. Or better yet, tea and aspirin."

"Let's finish here and we'll go get some." I assured him, "I could go for some tea as well."

He motioned to the books all over the floor and grimaced.

"I wish they hadn't given me a deadline to get all the books scanned in," he said, "it's so…frustrating."

I stifled another laugh, and instead stepped up to him and gave him a consoling embrace. I hear his chest rumble in laughter and he gave me a pat on the shoulder before pulling away.

"I'll be fine." He said, still laughing, "Forgive me, I've just been on edge the past few weeks." I nodded. I felt it too, that tense, building power in the air. I could sense it, perhaps even more than Giles and his paranoia did.

The Master had been quiet. Too quiet. I knew he wouldn't give up just because Darla had been killed, but what was he waiting for?

"All we can do is survive one more day, Rupert." I told him quietly, kneeling down to put the books back on the shelf. He didn't say anything for a moment, but then sighed and started to do the same.

"I know." He said, "But I hate not being able to prepare. Not knowing what to expect. I can't stand it. I wouldn't mind so much if was just me, but it's not. It's Buffy, it's Xander, it's Willow, it's you. It might well be the whole world."

I looked up at him, and for the first time I noticed how gray and…_weary_ he looked. I hadn't really thought about it before, usually just because we all shared the burden, but I realized now how difficult it must be for Giles who was (for the most part) the elder of the group.

Yes I was older than him by a good couple of centuries, but I still looked young, and so of course he would feel obligated to protect me just by default.

"I can take care of myself, Giles." I told him, "And I'll do my best to protect the little ones."

"I know you will, Margery." He answered, "I'm sorry…I just…forget sometimes. But I just wish I could always know exactly what to expect, or at least know how to be prepared for anything. It seems we always managed to just survive by the skin of our teeth."

"But we survive." I answered. "So even if our system isn't perfection, it's working. That's all we can ask for."

There was a long pause, and then Giles gave a small grunt of acknowledgment.

"You're right." He said, "At least one thing is working." He gave another chuckle and I looked up at him again. His eyes were playful and sarcastic, "I suppose what we can be expecting is some sort of mishap with the computers." He shook his head, "Those things don't like me."

"Well, you don't like them either." I pointed out.

"True. Bloody things." He mumbled. "I still maintain that they are works of evil." He added.

I hid my smile by ducking my head down and reaching for another book.

"We'll see, won't we?" I asked.

"Indeed." He murmured. "We'll see."


	23. Part 3 - Chapter 2: Willow Meets Malcolm

Thankfully the scanning in of the books was completed in the next week, and the morning after the end of the ORDEAL as Giles called it, he drove me to school. The reason for this was simply because it was convenient, since I had spent the night in his abode anyway.

Why? Because he had needed a distraction. And tea. Lots of tea. So I supplied both until he felt cheered enough and tired enough to go to bed. I didn't invite myself to sleep over, mind you, no he asked me if I wanted to stay as he was leaving.

It didn't a lot of thought for me to accept. After all, my own humble dwelling is not nearly as comfortable as Giles'.

It's dark, out of necessity, it's dingy, there's no bed, just a mattress, and my few belongings are tucked in a canvas bag, and it sits in a corner of the room. Not to mention the wallpaper in there is from the seventies, and looks hideous, so I was more than willing to spend the night in relative comfort.

I wouldn't hear of him giving up his bed, so I took the sofa instead. In the morning I joined him in another cup of tea, skipped breakfast, and then we rode together.

He let me out of the car a block away from the school, however, since it may have garnered attention that a student was riding with a school staff member. Not that anyone notices me, really, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

I saw Willow just going in, and though I waved to her, she must not have seen me, because she didn't return the wave.

"See you in the library, then?" I asked Giles before closing the door. As of late, I only sporadically attended classes and spent most of my time in the library. How did I not get in trouble for this? Well, first of all I keep a low profile from the teachers and students, really I only speak to Buffy, Xander, and Willow, and also, I asked Willow to do a little snooping in the school's database and see if I have any marked absences.

I didn't. But if I started ranking up too many she assured me to could easily change it.

"Of course." Giles said, adjusting his glasses, "Where else would we meet?"

I smirked, and then turned when I heard someone call my name. Buffy was hurrying towards me

"Good morning, Buffy." I greeted, but had to keep my composure when I saw what she was wearing.

It wasn't skimpy, by any means. No, in these times what she was wearing was really rather modest. But…I suppose I'm old fashioned but I couldn't get over how much _skin_ she was showing. She had on a tank top, which I can deal with, but that, coupled with the miniskirt she was wearing, it just took me aback for a moment.

Only for a moment. As I said, I've seen much worse, but it always gives me a bit of a turn.

"What's happening?" she greeted me in return.

"School?" I shrugged. She nodded.

"Sounds like heaven." She sighed, and I could understand why. We'd had a very hectic few months. It was nice to have a week or two of nothing happening. It almost felt normal. Almost.

"You seen Willow anywhere?" she asked.

"I just saw her go in." I replied. "Shall we catch up?"

"Lead the way."

I inhaled sharply to catch a whiff of her scent, and then began pushing through the dense mass of students to get inside and find her.

When we did finally catch up to her, she still seemed to be in her own world, since she didn't turn when Buffy called to her. Of course, we were a good ways down the corridor, so perhaps she simply hadn't heard.

Buffy broke into a jog, so of course I matched her stride.

"Willow!" she called again, "Willow! Hey, wait up!"

Willow finally paused and turned, smiling happily at us as we came to a halt and ignored the curious glances of the passing students.

"Oh, Buffy! I didn't even see you guys." She blushed and hugged her books to her chest. I thought I saw an odd look in her eyes. Not _odd_, exactly, I mean it wasn't anything to cause alarm, but…it was different. Dreamy.

Like I said: Odd.

"Didn't hear me?" Buffy scoffed, then frowned and poked her in the arm, "And what was up with last night? I tried to get online with you like a million times."

Willow blushed again and gave her book another hug.

"Oh, I was…I was talking." She said cryptically. I could hear her heartbeat fluttering. That could mean only one thing, but I would let her say it first.

Still, I couldn't help but smile for her.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, starting to catch on.

"Talking to-?" she queried.

Willow just grinned.

"Okay," Buffy said, mock-pouting, "that's it, you have a secret and that is _not_ allowed."

"Why not?" Willow asked as she walked over to her locker and started to open it.

"'Cause, there's a rule?" Buffy said, but she made it sound like a question.

Willow laughed, but then gave a small sigh.

"Well," she said, yielding, "I sort of met someone."

'As I thought.' I said to myself. She had all the telltale signs, after all. I'd seen it too many times not to know a smitten heart when I saw one.

"I knew it!" Buffy exclaimed, "This is so important! When did you meet?" she was bouncing around Willow like an excited terrier while I gave Willow a congratulatory embrace and a pat on the back.

"Well done, dear heart." I told her, grinning. Even as I did so, however, I felt an odd pang. I felt how a mother must when her daughter asks to go courting for the first time. I felt proud, but at the same time, there was something else…

_Jealous_

'I'm not jealous.'

_You're afraid her affections will be given to a stranger, and you'll be forgotten. It's happened before, remember?_

'It was only right that it should happen that way. But Willow is different. She's a lovely thing, we won't be forgotten so easily.'

_Lies_

'Enough.'

Willow turned to Buffy to answer her question, her big brown eyes sparkling like gems from excitement and happiness. It was rather endearing, I must say. Even the Essence quieted down after we got a look at those eyes.

"Last week," she said, "after the scanning project in the library."

"Does he go here?" Buffy asked, but didn't give Willow a chance to answer: "What's his name? Have you kissed him? What's he like?"

Kissing? Already? Good heavens, the child had only known this person less than a week!

Children these days. They worry me.

Willow, nonplussed, answered each question in turn. "Malcolm, no, and _very _nice."

Malcolm.

"You are a thing of evil for not telling me this sooner!" Buffy declared, still bouncing around Willow.

"Well, I wasn't sure there was anything to tell," Willow explained, then smiled the smile only young first-lovers can give. It was smile full of bliss and excitement, a smile that said: 'At last, I've found happiness.'

That smile never changes, no matter how many hundreds of years go by. It's always there.

"But last night," she continued, "Oh," she sighed, "we talked all night, it was amazing!" her voice grew more quiet and husky as she spoke. "He's so smart, Buffy!" she said, "And, and he's romantic and we agree about everything!"

I smirked.

"Sounds like your perfect fellow, child." I commented.

"Isn't he just?" Willow giggled at me.

"Aw!" Buffy squeaked, "What's he look like?"  
Willow shrugged happily.

"I don't know!"

She said it so cheerfully I didn't really understand what she'd said. Then it registered and I looked at Buffy in confusion. She frowned as well and hurried after Willow as she began walking towards her computer science classroom.

"Wait, so, you've been seeing a guy, but you don't know what he looks like?" Buffy repeated as we walked in.

I raised a finger.

"I don't think that would constitute 'seeing' someone, then." I couldn't help but interject. Buffy nodded.

"Exactly."

Willow hurried to explain.

"I met him online." She said, looking at the monitor as though it was her lover.

"Oh!" Buffy said, still looking concerned. Personally, I didn't see how it was such a problem. I had heard of these sort of things happening with growing frequency. Actually I thought it was rather amazing how two beings could connect via such a device and establish such a connection they might not ever achieve had they only ever met face to face.

"Good morning, kids!" Ms. Calendar said, slouching into the room, armed with books, sunglasses, and a cup of coffee that smelled warm, delicious, and very expensive.

She stopped short when she saw Buffy and I.

"Buffy, uh-" she paused, frowning, and snapped her fingers a few times, then gestured helplessly at me.

"Margery." I offered quietly.

"Right. Buffy, Marge, are you supposed to be somewhere?"

I cringed at being called 'Marge'. I would allow Buffy and Xander to call me that if they wished, but I resented a complete stranger calling me that. Especially someone who had been so insolent to Giles.

"Margery." I corrected. She ignored that.

"Oh, uh, we still have a few minutes before our first class." She said, nudging me to corroborate her story.

"Oh. Um. I was going to library to study. First. For…English." My story didn't sound as convincing but Ms. Calendar didn't seem to mind.

"Cool." She shrugged, "But, this is lab time so be sure and make it a nice, short visit, okay?"

"Sure." Buffy nodded. She started to go but I turned to watch Willow as she logged into her computer and an automated voice informed her that she had mail.

"It's him!" she bubbled, looking at me. I tugged at the hem of Buffy's shirt as she started to leave, and then knelt beside Willow to get a better look at the screen.

She opened the email she'd received. It was short, but…sort of sweet, I suppose.

_I'm thinking of you. _It read.

Short and to the point. Though I found it rather more informational than affectionate. Willow seemed giddy about it though, so I kept this opinion to myself.

"He's so sweet!" she breathed. I exchanged a look with Buffy. She looked more worried about this than anything else.

"He's a sweetie." She agreed half-heartedly, not that Willow noticed.

"What should I write back?" Willow asked me.

I shifted uncomfortably. It'd been over fifty years since I had written anything even close to a love letter, so I was desperately out of practice.

"Um…I suppose you could reply: 'Thank you, dear sir, and the sweet thought of you is ever present in my mind as well'?"

I shrugged.

"I'm sorry, I haven't done this since…well, since before Giles was born."

"That's okay. What do you think, Buffy?" she turned to the Slayer.

"Uh, Willow," Buffy started, "I think it's…really great that you have this cool pen-pal, but, don't you think you're kind of…rushing all into this?"

I frowned at Buffy.

"Didn't you just ask her if she'd kissed him after only knowing this person a week? Wouldn't that have been rushing into things?" I reminded her. She glared at me.

"I'm thinking of you too!" Willow exclaimed, like she hadn't heard us, "No, that's incredibly stupid!" she looked panicked.

"Will," Buffy said, "Down girl, let's focus here. What do you actually know about this guy?"

Willow paused, then frowned sadly.

"See, I knew you'd react like this," she said, not angrily, but with a certain tone of dejection in her voice.

"Like what?" Buffy asked. "I just want to make sure you're careful, that's all."

"Buffy…" Willow groaned.

"He could be different than you think." Buffy defended herself.

"That's true," I said, nodding, "but from his perspective it may be a risk as well. After all, for all he knows Willow could have been something other than how she presented herself as well." I shrugged, "There's a risk on both sides."

"His name is Malcolm Black," Willow began proudly, "He's eighteen, lives in Elmwood, which is about eighty miles from here, and he likes me." She said this last part with another blush and happy smile.

Of course she would be this blindly excited about a possible interest in her. She'd spent so long going after Xander, only to have him blindly rebuff her, that of course she would be this…naïve, for lack of a better word, about someone who appreciated her.

"Short, tall, skinny, fat?" Buffy asked.

"Why does everything have to be about looks?" Willow demanded. A good point. I arched an eyebrow at Buffy.

"Not _everything_," Buffy said, "but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out that he…has…a hairy back?"

"Well, no!" Willow said, "I mean, he doesn't talk like someone who has a hairy back. And anyways, that stuff doesn't matter when you really care about each other. Maybe I'm not his ideal, either."

"Willow," I cautioned her, she looked at me in surprise, "you are an incredibly beautiful young lady. However he may look, he's the one who can only be pleased by what he will find in you. Don't worry about that."

"Thanks, Margery." She smiled at me.

"Well I'm just trying to make sure he's good enough for you." Buffy declared.

I stood up and put a hand affectionately on the top of Willow's head.

"No one ever will be," I told her, "but they can try, if they must."

She giggled.

"Thanks guys, but, I know what I'm doing." She looked up at the clock, "Oh, you'd better get going if you don't want to be late."

I glanced up.

"Indeed. I promised Giles I'd be along to help him translate some of the new Romanian texts that came in. One of them is supposedly written by a vampire."

"You speak Romanian?" Buffy and Willow said in unison.

I smirked down at them.

"Da. Am multe trucuri în mânecă, cei mici." I said. (Meaning: Yes. I have many tricks up my sleeve, little ones.)

Buffy frowned.

"I'm pretty sure you just blended Russian and Italian." She said.

I laughed.

"Not quite. But Romanian and Italian are both Romance languages, so many roots are the same. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way." I nodded to Willow, "Just take care, dear one."

"I will." She promised.

I left them, then.

I knew Willow would be careful, but Buffy had a point. Willow could be talking to anyone. I felt my jaw clench as I walked, and a malicious smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth.

If anyone was planning on hurting Willow, then _they_ were the ones who needed to be careful.


End file.
